Forgot to mention a little funny that had us all (especially kp) in stitches….

It was an “Ann Pollard”ism…..

It involves Jamie (5 years old) and my mum trying to protect his head when he was getting a bit out of control….

So, Jamie is moving erratically, and mum is concerned he will hit his head…….

Mum :- Jamie, be careful, mind your knob !

Well, we were all in stitches

All good in da hood

Wow, it’s been a while since I could type that. Probably only 4 weeks (or so), but it feels like a lifetime

kp is back on track

Tuesday was the calm after the storm. It was a great storm and we LOVED it, but tuesday felt like a recoup day. kp had walked too much at Beamish and was paying the price, using a walking stick around the house. I could really feel her pain, but it DIDN’T get her down. It would have a week ago !!! A good sign !

I have been rough this week. Come down with some chest infection, bad glands, sore throat, headcold, so not been the best for me, and I think kp may be getting it just now, but we’ll see.

The morning was catching up on Nat and kp’s weekends and in the afternoon, the girls gave the dogs a good brushing down in the garden.

Wednesday and the pain from the previous day had all but gone. Natalie came and both kp and I needed a snooze, so Nat read some of the blog.

Thursday and Karen was already planning to meet up with family at the weekend and in preparation, Nat took Karen to get her hair/nails done. I thought they’d be gone a couple of hours, but 5 hours later, no sign !   They had gone into Durham for a shop

Friday, and very early on after kp woke, kp said….

kp:- I didn’t want to say anything until now, but I think I am over the depression (or words to that effect)

Music to my ears. I had been dreading asking how she was, for fear of a negative answer, so to get it spontaneously from Karen was a real good sign, as she wouldn’t have told me until she was sure !

Nat took kp to the gym in the morning and she did a bit of the cross-trainer (first time for 5 mins) plus other stuff. She didn’t suffer TOO much the following day. In the afternoon, I took Karen to the psychologist who was pleased kp’s mood had lifted. We discussed various things….Here are a couple of them…

Paracetamol – kp has been on 6-8 paracetamol a day for 4 years. Apparently, this dosage for so long, can CAUSE headaches, which is the main reason she takes them at the moment, so she is now keeping a log of when she takes them and why, so we can work out if she can come off them, which would be great.

What to tackle next – one of the other things discussed was what does she want to tackle next. kp was unsure, but I was ! The future. I think kp needs a long term aim, a pastime that she enjoys and that gives her meaning. So, the psychologist suggested a 4-week test period, so we can be sure the mood is up, and then we can tackle the future. We were both really pleased at this way forward. It gives kp a bit of rest time from psychologist-type homework and then we’ll be discussing which will help her

Yesterday, we walked the dogs, although not the full walk (because of cross-trainer induced pain) and then had a lovely breakfast with Katie and Peter (the programme, not the people). After that, it was bathtime to try and reduce the pain from the cross-trainer work.  We were due to go and see Michelle, but it wasn’t called off because of Karen, but because of Michelle, which makes a nice change.  Pizza with Britain’s Got Talent.

Today, much the same. Dogwalk, breakfast, hot bath and blog writing for me, email to the Case Manager for Karen.

So, very pleased and proud to report kp is back on track and life is good again.

We are going to Spain at the end of May, but nothing booked after that, so we need to start thinking of another trip to keep kp focussed

To end on a little funny……

Here’s what I have been staring at most of this week…..

Now, it’s an Easter card from the kids (from last weekend). All I can see is a blonde-haired woman lying on her back with her legs wide apart……Do I need therapy ?

It is, of course, something Easter-related, which is a bit more obvious if you look up close….

Silly me !

A great week. Life is good again !

Natalie was off on Monday/Tuesday, so dp was the support worker. Karen had contacted Laura (the last support worker) to see how she was doing, and she said she’d come round for all the goss. Which she duly did, arriving bang on time on her motorbike, making the most of the glorious weather.

It was great to see Karen in such good form, hearing all Laura’s latest information and sharing her latest news with her. Laura stayed for a few hours. We spent most of it with the dogs in the back garden.

In the afternoon, instead of going to the gym as we had planned, we took the dogs on a short walk which they thoroughly enjoyed as did we !

We also popped around our neighbours (Tommy and Eileen). Karen hasn’t seen them since 2008 so she enjoyed the catch up and we were both pleased she was strong enough to speak to them and enjoy their company.

Tuesday was a busy day. I took kp to see Steve (physio) in Seaham. Karen did some balance board. Steve noticed that Karen’s left hip was not locked in when standing. She always does this. Steve had done some exercises with Karen a few months back to try and help this, but it caused Karen so much pain, they had avoided it, but Steve asked if she would give it another go but with more moderation. So, she did just a couple of the relevant exercises and it was fine the next day, so hopefully if she can lock her hip in, it will improve her walking. That’s the aim.

After physio, we had to go to the psychiatrist in Hexham. We had an hour to kill, so stopped off at Costco to stock up on Pig’s Ears and Dried Dog Food – as you do

The psychiatrist was well pleased that Karen was feeling better and put it down to the Gabapentin being fully out of her system. At the end of the session, we discussed a future appointment, and we all agreed, that there was no need to book a further appointment, because there would be no point. So, we are to contact him, only if things take a turn for the worse. Karen was pleased that she had moved past the need for a psychiatrist. Fingers crossed, her mood continues….

Wednesday, Nat was back and the girls made the most of the glorious April we are having and did gardening. Karen REALLY enjoyed it. Karen was hoeing, and Nat was doing the bending down, picking the weeds out that Karen had hoe’ed I wanted to be involved to maximise the lovely day, so sanded some window sills down and repainted them.

Thursday wasn’t quite as nice, so the girls made some Parmesan and Tomato bread – lovely it was too ! And then they went to the gym, where kp as usual, tried to beat her last distance or time, at the cost of pain the following day !!!!!

Friday, they went to the Metro Centre to get birthday presents for me and Dad. We both have birthdays in May. It wasn’t a successful shop as Karen was in too much pain from the gym the day before. So it was cut short.

Saturday, Karen had a ball. It was Sister’s Day. It’s a monthly (kp mood allowing) get-together of all the sisters. Nat took kp over and handed kp over to the Sisters and then brought her back. Karen really enjoyed all the catching up and I think the sisters were pleased to see kp well again There was a slight dip in the day at the beginning, when kp didn’t feel 100%, but she went for a power nap and felt great, so Sister’s Day was able to go ahead ! I went off with my mate Dave Kingdon to look for a dry suit in Whitley Bay.

And last night, we watched “The Usual Suspects”. Cracking film, but far too complicated !! We must have stopped it every 5 minutes to explain the intricacies of the plot to kp ! But, she still enjoyed it, especially the twist at the end !

Today, we have walked the dogs and I’m doing the blog, while kp is writing an email to Syd. We are then going to book a night in Edinburgh for Karen to see John Edwards. He is a psychic from America. kp is a big fan, and I think she is going to ask Marie if she’ll go in the support worker role. Fingers crossed she will, ‘cos Psychics aren’t my cup of tea.

So, great week, couldn’t really be better.

Time for a general update…………..

Pain – Generally, in control. We are continuing to reduce the Fentanyl patches. They were at 600, and are now down to 325 ! They were supposed to go down to 325 (from 350) early in the week, but kp didn’t feel she was ready. But we went down to 325 last night . I get the impression, it is going to get harder to go down in the future, but we’ll see.

Sleep – Generally, much improved. 5 out of 7 GOOD sleeps this week. Not all the way through, but not far off !!

Mood – Cooking on Gas Mark 9 !

Appetite – not brilliant, but not drastic either.

So, all good from the Pollard household.

Things are so good, I am starting to think what I am going to do with myself. I fancy a career change, and am torn between Diving Instructor or Helicopter Pilot. It’s a tricky one. But, the good thing is there is no rush, so I think I am going to do my private pilot licence in helicopters and see if I like it, which I am pretty sure I will. I already have a PPL in single-engine light aircraft, so am hoping that will make things a bit easier. That’s my thoughts at the moment, but our lives have never been straightforward since the accident, so everything’s suck it and see.

Good week – great to have kp back in the house.

She remains upbeat and positive and life is returning to normal again. We’re not fully there yet, but we’re definitely heading in the right direction. The psychologist has recommended she holds back from anything that could bring her down until we have seen 4 weeks of stable upbeat kp, which seems good advice.

So, the week started with tears. Monday was the anniversary of the accident but I had totally forgotten . kp hadn’t ! Karen was very teary in the morning and I just couldn’t work out why ! When I asked her, she said she didn’t know why she was teary. Later, she told (reminded) me that it was the anniversary of the accident – it all slotted into place !! She hadn’t wanted to tell (remind) me at the time, ‘cos it would have set her off (crying) again !

I felt a bit guilty, to say the least!

So, the day was a bit of a “down” affair. Nat was kicking herself ‘cos she should have arranged something for monday. kp and I were doing the same ! We’ll remember for next year, well, probably !

Thankfully, it was merely a blip/dip in mood and the following day kp was back on form. I had a helicopter lesson booked for the afternoon, but weather stopped play. And pretty much, this repeated itself each day. Heli lesson booked, and cancelled on day The weather for this coming week doesn’t look much better, but I live in hope !

Anyway, back to kp…….Tuesday saw kp and Nat go off to the gym to do her exercises and then to the Metro Centre after a bite of lunch to get Dad’s birthday present. She also tried to book Whickham Villa for friday for a nice massage, soak and swim, but it was fully booked

Wednesday and kp was up and about early sorting out the spare room, which is the room for old boxes and all the crap we never use.

Thursday and another trip to the gym with Nat. She has learned her lesson from previous trips and is no longer trying to compete with herself. She always tried to do the speed walk in less time, or do longer, with the inevitable increase in pain, but she is pacing herself so she doesn’t lose out on the week !

Unfortunately, despite the new pacing regime, she was still in pain, but we have put this down to the patches being reduced this week and her body not being fully used to them.

Friday was my birthday (32 years old (+/- 10 years)). And the card she got me was absolutely spot on. She is sooooo good at picking cards that are pertinent.

“Happy Birthday to my husband.
I may get kind of GRUMPY when I’ve had a rotten day,
And other times I just won’t BUDGE no matter what you say…
Sometimes I might start NAGGING when you try to take a break…
Or tend to say “I told you so” when you’ve made a MISTAKE…
But even though my changing MOODS might drive you up the wall…
As long as we’re together I’m the HAPPIEST wife of all!”

I love her so much. PLUS the card, I got a dry suit so I can go diving in the cold UK waters. It was a bargain. Dave and I saw the same suit for £499 at the diving shop in Whitley Bay. I got it for £204 INCLUDING a fleecy undergarment worth £70 !! Happy camper !

We had a nice friday together, doing some gardening. On the night time, we went to Nigel’s (my mate) for tea. I was thrilled that we were finally going and kept thinking that kp was going to back out at the last minute, but she was good to go !!!!! William, Terry and Lillian (Nige’s mam) were all there, plus 3 dogs,and a cat ! Lillian had just had some chemotherapy that week, and had had a day feeling low, and it was so nice to see Karen be the one who was able to pick someone else up for a change. Whilst Nige and I were catching up, I couldn’t help but earwig in on kp’s conversation to check she was ok, but she was fine and in good form – WELL DONE KP !!!!

Cracking Night, shame it wasn’t longer, but kp had took her Amytrypteline a about 8pm and by 10.30pm she was tired, so we had to leave earlier than hoped

Saturday, dog walking, more gardening and some good TV on the night. No Pizza ‘cos we had had Pizza at Nige’s.

Today, we were both knackered (from the gardening yesterday), so lots of snoozing after dog walking.

So, this coming week kp and Natalie have planned quite a busy week, which is good. I have a heli lesson booked for tomorrow, which will no doubt be cancelled because of UK weather

Fun Fun Fun !

Here’s some photos of the week…..

Lillian, William and Terry…..

kp and Milly (at Nige’s)…..

Bonnie and Elsa (plus big stick)……

Elsa (not understanding Centre of Gravity)….

Another good week in the bag

Monday was the Bank Holiday. kp was glad of the extra day off. She made the most of it, by chilling and doing non-rehab stuff. Catching up on tv, snoozing. I was due to go to a helicopter lesson, but the British Weather transpired against me. Rather than repeat that over and over again, I’ll just record when I do go !

Tuesday and back to rehab for kp. Nat came and the girls went to physio at Seaham. By all reports, it went very well and Karen now has a new regime to follow when at the gym.

Whilst she does the treadmill, she has to concentrate on keeping her left buttock in. Because of the stroke, her left hip has a tendency to not lock into place as it would naturally for most people. But, if she concentrates hard, she can get it in, and this makes for a walk which doesn’t use as much energy and looks more normal.

Once back to the house, she then has to do pelvic lifts (again, to do with locking left hip forward), and then some balance board.

Wednesday and first thing, I took the bike in for its MOT and it failed Brakes seizing on and not releasing, which I had predicted would happen. Not enough use ! He’s going to fix it this coming tuesday and pass it. kp went to the gym in the morning to do all of the above. The weather was “iffy” but I was told it would be flyable, so I headed off to Newcastle Airport and had my first heli lesson. It was awesome. The weather got worse and we couldn’t get the whole hour in, but it was still worth the 90 minute round trip. The instructor (Steve) was great. He went through all the pre-flight checks, pre-startup checks, post-startup checks. He did all the radio (thankfully) and taxi’ed and took off and then one by one, he let me take each of the controls (cyclic, collective and pedals). After I had done each of them separately, he let me do them all together and I was flying a helicopter !!! What a feeling ! I was on Cloud 9 (no pun intended). He asked me to do various turns and maneuvres and by this time, we were losing the horizon to rain, so he asked me to fly back. I was thrilled as it showed some confidence on his part   I flew it all the way back, joining right-base leg and then on to final approach (25), and I flew it up the runway, down to 500 feet and then he did the rest and he was really good !!! I was well impressed ! Loved it, and couldn’t wait to share it all with kp.

After she came back from the gym, the girls were going to the cinema to see “State of Play”. Unfortunately, kp had a bad experience in the cinema, and they had to leave halfway through the film. Basically, she had an unusual sensation in her left arm, so much so that she couldn’t sit the film out. I arrived back 30 minutes before the girls, eager to share my experience and kp was keen to hear all about it, but I could tell she was “bothered” by her arm.

The following day, we booked an appointment at the doctors. Karen is normally very good at working out if a Doctor’s visit is needed, so for her to want to go was of concern, but the doctor was great and reassured her that it was nothing serious and that she should only worry if her left arm was losing strength, which it wasn’t. So that was a relief. And by the following day, the sensation had gone. One of the things I have noticed is that her arm feels things differently to her right arm. So a cold sensation to her left arm, can feel like a burn. And a light brush with a duster (not something we do, just an example), can feel like I am operating an electric sanding machine on her arm (something I must do one of these days). So, it could be something trivial that if her right arm had felt it, wouldn’t have bothered her at all, like a bit of popcorn stuck to it. We never found out what caused it, but we’re pleased it’s over. That night, she had an awful sleep, but it didn’t prevent her waking up feeling positive on Friday.

While I remember, Dr Yellowlees (Pain Specialist) rang on Thursday to see how kp was getting on with the reduction of her meds. kp was pleased (and rightfully so) that she had reduced the gabapentin to ZERO, the Fentanyl patches to 325 and she is off paracetamol apart from for the usual headache use !!!

We also went to the Psychologists for a very good session with Jane. Very positive and Jane is considering dropping her sessions down in frequency but involving an occupational psychologist who will help kp with getting some long-term meaningful goals and helping her back to some form of voluntary work perhaps ? That’s the vague aim she has at the moment, but it will depend on this specialist.

Friday was another busy day. Gym in the morning and Whickham Villa in the afternoon. At Whickham Villa, she had a lovely massage after some time in the hydro pool. Natalie helped kp work on some of her swimming actions. And something clicked for kp about why she was struggling to swim. So, she has some more moves to work on there, which is great.

And then after all that, we went over to Middlesbrough to pick Abbie(12) and Louisa(5) as they were staying the night. They were very well behaved !! We took them to the fun house and had a meal there. And then by 11pm they were knackered and wanted to go to bed !! At about 8am on Saturday, we were all up and about walking the dogs. Breakfast on our return and then it was time to take them back after a visit to the Garden Centre to order our hanging baskets.

Snooze on our return and then the usual Saturday night. Film (“The Departed”), and Pizza with Britain’s Got Talent.

Today, we were up and out walking the dogs at 6am. And no doubt we will be going for a snooze shortly.

So, great week all round. Another busy one coming up.

Some photos from this week…..

Elsa, chilled…..and in Karen’s seat.

The dogs are very hard to catch sat still, but here’s the best of 7 photos I took…..

So so week. Could be better, could be worse.

Monday and Rachel (OT) was in attendance. They did “plan and goal” setting and Rachel confirmed all the details of kp’s upcoming swimming lessons with a OT/swimming instructor. In the afternoon, at about 3pm, kp went to the gym with Nat and that went very well, kp feeling very agile.

I had a helicopter lesson in the afternoon and that lesson was climbing and descending turns. That went fine, and I think because it was going so well, he thought he would see if I could hover, so we descended down to this barren bit of land and he got it in the hover and passed the controls to me. I managed to keep the hover for an impressive 1/3rd of a second, probably even half a second, before I lost it. So, can I hover ? Can I bloody hell !!! I left that lesson deep in thought, thinking “HOW ON EARTH will I have ever crack that ?”

Monday night, and kp had another cracking sleep. Her sleep is MUCH improved since she is now on more amytrypteline.

Tuesday and Syd came in the morning. He was pleased at kp’s positiveness and all the good news. I left halfway through for another heli lesson. We did more climbs/turns and hovering. And I had been thinking A LOT about the hovering, where I was going wrong etc…. and something clicked before the lesson. I put it into practice and the hovering was much improved. I managed a 20 second hover before losing it. I still can’t hover reliably, so I need to work on that. But, also, when I lost the hover, I need to be able to recover it. So, still a long way to go there !

Wednesday was another good day. Natalie was off, so kp had a relaxing day, and rang VD in London. She hasn’t spoken to her since her mood dropped, so great that she felt strong enough to call her and they had a great chat, so that was good to hear when I got back from another heli lesson. Wednesday’s heli lesson was more hovering, which I think was worse than the previous day . So, need to rethink things there. And we did autorotations, that’s the same as an engine cutting out on a plane, basically, no engine powering the rotorblade and you come down to earth rather quickly. We just focussed on entering autorotation, controlling it, and we don’t do the landing bit until much further on.

Thursday, weather was awful, so I was reading up on Aviation law all day, while kp and nat went to the Metro Centre.

Friday, weather still grim, and kp’s plan walk of the dogs with Nat, was cancelled. Instead they chatted most of the day and Nat took kp to the doctors in the afternoon to get the prescription changed and a few other things. The first time I haven’t been to the doctors with her since the accident !!!! Instead I gave her a list of things to go through with the doctor. I think the doctor was impressed she was on her own.

Saturday, Nat was unavailable, so I was on support worker duty and took kp to see her sisters in Middlesbrough. It was the monthly sister’s day and they had a nice meal at Joe Rigatoni’s in Middlesbrough. Whilst they did that, I went back to Michelle’s to fix her computer. kp enjoyed her banana-split but was a bit teary on the way home. I think she felt like she wasn’t keeping up with the conversations fast enough.

But, we had a good night watching the Eurovision Song Contest. Russia put on a great show, and Graham Norton was very good, although a bit too talkative at times.

Today (Sunday), and we were walking the dogs at 5am. kp has a few things on her mind, and hasn’t been to bed at all, so I expect she will catch up later in the day. We have lots of good programmes to watch to take her mind off things later, so we should have an “ok” day.

I’ll end with a photo. On one of my heli lessons, we were flying back at about 5pm, which is a busy time for Newcastle Airport, lots of planes coming in and departing. I do all the flying apart from the low-level hovering, taking off and landing at the moment, which suits me given my lack of skill in those areas . So, we are approaching the runway and are asked to perform orbits over the golf course, which we did. Whilst a plane lands, and 1 takes off, I am constantly flying circles in the air, which gets a bit dizzying, so the instructor sets us up in a hover and asks me to take over and that seemed to go ok. Then we are given clearance to land and the instructor tells me it’s just as well as “Marky Mark” needs the helicopter for his traffic report. It turns out the local “eye in the sky” uses the training helicopter to do his rush-hour traffic report. So, after landing, I didn’t have to fully shut down the helicopter, instead we just handed it to the “eye in the sky”. Here is a photo of “Marky Mark” at the controls. What’s interesting about this photo is that the tail rotor is straight, but in this photo it looks like it’s bent – optical illusion to do with shutter speeds and the speed the tail rotor rotates I expect.

So, good week generally, could be better, could be worse.

Early blog this week, ‘cos we’re off to Spain for a week tomorrow.

Monday saw kp a little low to start the day, but nothing dire. Nat came and the girls went to South Shields for a shop and some refreshments. It helped.

The solicitor came over on the afternoon to discuss the case. Is an end in sight ? Well, you’d think we’d hope so, but I am not too sure it will be a positive thing. In a way, it will be the end of a mammoth 4+ years struggle and kp can “move on”, but I can’t help but feel it will be a time when the hell of the last 4 years HAS to be brought up, and will bring kp down. The meeting with the solicitor gave us a taster. As she was updating us on various things, kp got quite upset. She finds this kind of thing very overwhelming, understandably. It is hard reliving how things happened in the accident etc etc…..

kp does best when she is focussed forward, not backwards, and we have to try and keep it that way if at all possible.

Anyway, kp felt better after the solicitor left, which was great and the week got better and better.

Tuesday, and Nat took kp to physio for a session focussing on her hips. Steve joined them for lunch afterwards which was nice and they all enjoyed it by all accounts.

Wednesday saw kp get her hair and nails done in preparation for the holiday. She remained in good form.

And today, kp will be going for her swimming lesson at Whickham Villa plus a meeting with her OT. We also have to fit packing in somewhere.

Big thanks to Marie for dog-sitting while we are away !

Spain here we come.

Well, kp had a GREAT swimming lesson. She hasn’t been able to swim since the accident, but she conquered the first step and both she and the OT/Swimming Instructor were WELL pleased with her progress.

kp couldn’t believe that she could float unaided.

Here’s proof !

Well done kp. The biggest plus of what she achieved is that she has much more confidence in the water which is great !!! Let’s see how she improves over the hols !

Good first couple of days to the holiday. Karen has been in good form really enjoying time with the kids.

Weather a bit overcast on Day 1, but it’s hot again today.

Yesterday, we spent a good part of the day at the hotel. Table tennis tournaments, kids entertainment etc etc. Mum cooked a lovely leg of lamb. Kp wasn’t there to enjoy it as shehad a headache

Here’s kp sunning (in the shade) yesterday. Guy in the background….

Karen gave up fags on thursday last week and it’s doing my head in. She is doing really well – not a one – but she is extremely irritable and touchy.

But we’re still sane and together so that’s good

Yesterday, we slept a lot while the kids went to the beach. Nice Chinese takeaway on the night with a game of cards to follow.

While I remember Karen has gone down another notch and is now on 300 fentanyl patch! Well done Karen

Great day yesterday. Karen’s irritability subsided think she needed some time with hubby on her own. She finds company harder to deal with even though it’s my family who she gets on great with.

The kids & parents went to a water park, which meant we could do the “pier walk” which we always enjoy. Karen did the most she has ever done -about a mile I reckon!!

Wheelchair for the rest of the way.

In the afternoon, we went for a swim and Karen managed to her float that she had learnedfrom her swimming instructor PLUS shemanaged to get into the float position herself which is a first. Getting back to standing proved a lot harder so we’ll leave that to the swimming instructor!

Attempted snooze thereafter, but nearby building work put paid to that!

Lovelymeal with family on the night time followed by the fair. Jamie was with me in the dodge’ems and although he started timid, within seconds he was nearly exploding with excitement. It was so funny and karennearly died with laughter from the sidelines!

Once we were back at the hotel, we played a few rounds of Risk and for the first time, it feels like I am winning!

We’ll see how that pans out today

Another great day, with an unfortunate bit of cold turkey.

Great sleeps for the last 2 nights.

After a morning read, we headed to Chez Pollard for lunch and lovely it was too!

Afternoon came and I was on “chucking the kids in the pool” duty. Kp reread the last few pages of Peter Kay’s autobiography, until she realised she’d already read them

In the afternoon, kp started getting the symptoms of Cold Turkey – involuntary shudders, feeling cold, sweating etc…

We think what has happened is that her Fentanyl patches have dried out in the sun and whereas, normally this would be unnoticeable, because she is downto 300, she notices the drop in morphine much more readily. Thankfully, we understood the problem and knew the solution : take some morphine orally and reapply all patches.

And it worked. Kp played it safe and spent the night in while I went to El Dorado with the family for some fine dinery and some hide and seek. TheHide and seek started with our 2 kids, but a further THREE kids came to ASK me if they could play. At €5 a pop, and allowing me to sit down, it was an easy decision!

We then came back and kp & I watched The Apprentice whilst the family watched some footy match

All good!

Well, we’ve had a fantastically wonderful holiday in Spain. It was one of the best we’ve had ! So nice when all the family can get together. The weather was absolutely spot on !!! Not too cool, not too hot !!

What made it that more enjoyable is that kp was in the right mindset to enjoy it. The mood is up and kp was in good form !

Can’t quite remember what happened over the last few days specifically, but we enjoyed them. kp remains off the fags – well done kp.

The last day of the holiday was spent at our hotel and everyone came to us. We played a tournament of table tennis. Needless to say, I didn’t fair too well, but did manage to beat dad, and 1 game with Guy (he won the other), but Jane stormed all of us !!! Karen also had a play (but not in the competition), and she did really well, managing to hit nearly every ball I played her !!!

More than can be said of the kids who were adamant they needed no instruction, but we’re equally inept at hitting the ball AT ALL !

The last meal was at the villa and was 2 x takeaways. Chinese and Pizza – it was lovely. Following day, we had a good travelling day home. It was nice to see the dogs again (thanks Marie!).

The past 2 days (Sat/Sun) have been chocka block !!! kp has been gardening. And me and Tommy (ace neighbour) have been constructing a greenhouse, and it’s been BLOODY hard work. I am not very used to hard labour, never even mind easy labour. Tommy who’s approx 70, was mixing cement, lifting heavy stuff, whereas I was sweating moving my head from left to right watching him pour the cement !!! Mind, it was hot ! THANKS so much tommy. It’s took us 2 days and we’re not finished yet. The concrete base is down and will be setting tonight. The greenhouse is all but built, needing the window finishing and a door latch putting on, and the glass all needs fastening in properly.

Was due a heli lesson tomorrow, but we’ll postpone and get this knocked on the head while tommy’s here.

So, photo time…..

Here is kp playing ball with the kids…..

Here is Grandpa and the kids jumping into the water at the same time, or trying too…..

Here is Jamie mid-jump…..

Sophie and her mate…..

Here is our new greenhouse (nearly finished)….

Finally….Mum and Dad have had a new satellite installed at the Villa. It means they can get Sky over there, but it’s so big, it also means I can talk to my mate on the International Space Station…..

Well, busy week all round this week. It started with a non-legal MDT meeting which is where the therapists convene at our house to discuss kp’s progress.

For people to report progress after the 4th year post-accident is impressive. And across the board, that was the consensus. The biggest improvement (in my opinion), has been mental. Since the last MDT, we’ve cracked the sleep and depression and that is the most important thing to be on top of. 6 months ago, there was no way I could be considering work or my life generally, but the fact I can refocus on me speaks volumes

It was a very positive meeting. There were a few tears at one point and these stemmed from anger. For the last couple of weeks, kp has been getting increasingly angry about why she is in this situation, but she knows that dwelling on what has happened is not positive for her, and it’s when she’s focussing on the future that life is good. So, it’s like she’s dipping her toe in the angry pool to get a bit of frustration out, and then back to facing forward. So, generally a very positive meeting. We have another one before the end of June and that is the legal one where all the solicitors come as well.

In the afternoon, Karen (and Nat) went to a load of garden centres to get loads of plants. They came back with enough to start our own garden centre – Well it felt like that, when I was moving them from the front to the back of the house.

Whilst they were gardening, I went to Newcastle Airport for Lesson number 5 (Hovering). I came back on Cloud 9 (pardon the pun), as I felt like I’d cracked the hover (little did I know!).

That night, Marie (kp’s sister) arrived and the following morning, I took them to the train station in Durham for their trip to see Jon Edwards (the psychic) in Edinburgh.

The girls (kp+Marie) had a great time in Edinburgh. The hotel and theatre were walkable from the train station, so I don’t think they used a single taxi !! kp didn’t think much of Edinburgh. It was too much like London (busy-wise) for her, but she enjoyed the Jon Edwards show. She was hoping to receive a message so she could start believing in things like that, but the only message she got was when Marie prodded her to wake her up as her snoring was too loud.

Whilst kp was in Edinburgh. Tommy (ace neighbour) and I finished off the greenhouse and a bloody good job we did too. I think this was when the weather was still nice, and we were really sweating our b+ll+cks off.

The following day (Wednesday), Marie and kp had a late breakfast and had a wander around a nearby park. They didn’t fancy shopping (too busy for kp). Whilst they were doing that, I was on Heli Lesson 6, which was a trip north of Morpeth to an area where we could do circuits practicing transitions (where you go from forward flight to the hover and vice-versa) and hovering. Well, the hover I thought I had cracked, I hadn’t !! The transitions went “ok” and the circuits were fine, but the hover. Well, I had lost the knack !! I was gutted and couldn’t think why I couldn’t do it. Steve (instructor) said it could be because the wind was a lot higher, and it was probably a little of that, but more that I wasn’t “in the zone”. Bit disheartening

After the lesson, I picked the girls up. kp really missed me and vice-versa. We are so used to being close to each other and a night apart feels like a lot longer. Always nice to get back together again !

Thursday was the dentists for kp and I. kp, as usual, faired better, requiring no follow-up work. I had a cracked filling which needs replacing and some staining to get cleaned up (nice!).

In the afternoon, Nat and kp gardened ALL afternoon. All the plants they had previously bought needed potting which is back-breaking work. They had a system to make it better for kp, but the following day, she paid a price for such a long spell of gardening.

Whilst they were gardening, I had Heli Lesson 7. The whole lesson was hovering and I was over the moon to leave it feeling great, I had once again cracked the hover (I think!). Not only did we hover, but we did hover-taxiing, turns in the hover etc etc….It was FAR from perfect, but, although there were some VERY hairy moments, I managed to get them ALL back to a hover, where previously Steve had to save the day. There were also a couple of maneuvres where I thought Steve had helped (they were so smooth), but when I asked him if he had helped, he said that he had been too busy praying to control the helicopter – it made me laugh !

Friday came all too soon, and with it pain galore for Karen. She was VERY angry that such a small amount of gardening (I thought it was large !!!) had left her unable to do anything physical. Loads of morphine popped plus diclofenac and the pain was bearable, but she wasn’t very functional. So, it was a day in, talking with Nat. In the late afternoon, a lady called Nicki Brosnan came. I think she is a neuro-psychologist and her aim is ultimately to get kp engaged in some kind of vocational work back in the community. She started by doing loads of tests with kp. They are always intriguing to watch, but they do the trick, and they allow Nicki to see where kp has difficulties (visuo-spatial, recent memory, left neglect, and something else I can’t remember). Once she knows the issues, she can help kp with tactics/strategies to overcome them as much as poss, and then move on to her end goal. All good, and kp really liked her. Very switched on, and straight to the point, something kp likes !!

The weekend upon us, we have mostly been dog walking, and catching up on TV. Up very early both days. 6am yesterday and 5am today. But, all good !!

Another busy week coming up.

Rather than dilute kp’s blog with my helicopter exploits. I have started a seperate blog….

All the helicopter stuff will be here….

http://www.karensstory.com/helicopterdave

Great week for both Karen and I. They don’t come much better than this.

Karen and Natalie have come up with a great way for kp to keep track of the diary. 50% of the time when she looks at the diary, she picks the wrong day. Normally a week before, or a week after and she thinks she’s either repeating a day, or she hasn’t much on. So, Nat came up with a monthly planner, which they tried last week, but it didn’t work very well, because kp had to go down to the week and then look across to the day and it was confusing for her.

So, they have cracked it now, with this new weekly planner. Here’s the one for last week…..

Notice the weekly and monthly goal.

So, Monday and kp did her home-based physio exercises with Nat, before going to do the weekly Sainsbury shop. It was her weekly target to do the shop herself. So, Nat came in with her and had a coffee in Sainsburys, while kp did the shop Nice one kp. Whilst she was doing the shop, I had a cracking day in Carlisle flying helicopter circuits

Tuesday, the girls did some brain training and then Nat took kp to her swimming lesson, which went really well. kp was doing strokes today. Apparently, they noticed that her left (stroke-side) hand doesn’t open and makes a fist when pulling through the water, so they are getting a fin-like glove to help. Nikki Brosnan was due to come, but she had to cancel, so the girls did some gardening and walked the dogs in the afternoon. I revised Air Law all day.

Wednesday was Physio in the morning. Steve suggested a walk on the beach, as the sand is very good for walking and keeping your balance. Nice weather for it. In the afternoon, Nat took kp to see Angela (fellow car-crashee). The girls had a good catchup before kp returned home.

Thursday, and a dentist visit for me (cracked filling), and then to the psychologists in the early afternoon. That went really well. Jane is so good for Karen, knowing exactly how to put things and the pace that’s right for her.

Friday – I went off to take the Aviation Law exam, plus a great lesson, whilst kp gardened pretty much all day (with breaks here and there). Lovely weather for it. She paced herself well and only had moderate pain that evening (and the next day). We had some fun when I got home, the girls were shouting me to come through. They had found a dead mouse in the watering can and were both giggling like naughty school girls. When I got it out, Natalie literally ran around the back of the house, laughing and screaming her head off, whilst kp was in stitches at her reaction. When Natalie returned to have a look, I had to do the “fake trip and throw” routine for another set of laughs/screams.

So, great week and a nice weekend to top it off. Yesterday, we did some gardening, cutting down some Sycamores that had taken root, and cleaning out the garden shed. Today, I went to get my Aviation Medical out of the way

Life remains great for both kp and I. Long may it continue !

Ending with a photo…..We have a pair of collared doves who have been making a nest in our Cherry Tree for about a month or so, and whereas a month ago, they were constantly both flying in/out with twigs. For the past 2 to 3 weeks, one of them has been sitting constantly on the nest.

Here’s why…..I managed to catch a moment when the mother dove was probably getting food….

There’s at least 2 baby doves in the nest, but you can only see one here. Excuse the sieve. It has bird nuts in in the winter. I think the doves see it as a status symbol – nest with adjacent metal sieve. It’s not something normal doves have with their nests.

Not the best of weeks, but we know why now and the future is rosy again !

Last Sunday saw Karen’s mood be lower than usual and the worst thing was we didn’t know why. A “drop in mood” and “not knowing why” might indicate the depression is coming back, and that’s not good. So, we were both a bit concerned but not telling each other at this point.

So, monday came, and we were both hoping distraction might help. Karen had to attend a medical (in Durham), which I accompanied her to. It went fine. Karen’s mood remained low though, and she cancelled Natalie, hoping that some more sleep might pull her out of the mood drop. The snooze and kp “having words with herself” seemed to have done the trick and the night was more upbeat.

Tuesday came, and Natalie and kp went shopping for food supplies. kp’s mood had dipped again and we still couldn’t work out why !! I was starting to worry and I think kp was too. In the afternoon, there was no time to worry as kp had to attend a medico-legal appointment in Newcastle. I went with her. It went fine, but unfortunately, the consultant didn’t finish everything he had to get through, so we’ll have to go back sometime in August to continue it. No tears during the appointment although it got close when the consultant mentioned how slow he felt kp’s speech was

That evening was a bit more subdued.

Wednesday and kp and I were up early, with kp’s mood still low. Nat arrived, but kp excused herself as she wanted more sleep. I had instructions to wake her at 12pm. I had been trying for a helicopter lesson everyday but the weather has been dire this week and for the first solo, aviation law requires good weather. So, I was revising Meteorology all day. Once up, kp and Nat chatted most of the day until Nikki Brosnan came (neuropsychologist). She did more tests with kp. One was, kp had to put a cross through every star on a sheet of A4 paper. As expected, she started on the right side and was slower than she would have normally been and missed out about 30 stars on the left hand side. But the idea of these tests is that they are a benchmark so that when Nikki has retrained kp’s brain, they can retest to see the improvement.

During this meeting, kp had a Eureka moment about why her mood had dropped. Karen was due to attend 2 parties this week (the mentioned Psychic Charity Doo, and Marie’s 50th birthday party (Happy Birthday Marie !!)). She had been dreading both, because she feels very uncomfortable in group situations now. When she attended her nephew’s wedding, she was in tears before the reception started and we had to come home. At some point during the meeting, probably when she was discussing things with Nikki, the lightbulb over kp’s head lit up and she felt that it was the worry/anxiety over her attendance at these parties that had brought her down. Once she had worked this out, and had committed to NOT attending (in her head), her mood improved. I kept asking her, how sure are you it’s that (I didn’t want to get my hopes up, to have them dashed), but kp was pretty sure, which was welcomely good enough for me, and from that moment on, her mood got better and better as the week progressed.

That night, kp was due to attend a psychic charity evening in Middlesbrough, but Nikki was here until after 7pm and couldn’t have attended anyway.

Thursday, and I had the option of a helicopter lesson if I didn’t mind high winds. The instructor said it would be good for me. I have flown in strong winds before and it was quite a demoralising experience, but this time, it was a very positive experience. Too strong for solo though, but I didn’t mind ! Here’s the blog entry for thursday’s flight.

Karen visited the “No Smoking” lady (with Nat) to get some more nicotine patches. She’s doing great and hasn’t smoked since the start of the holiday – well done kp !!!!

In one way, knowing why her mood was low had helped us both get past the worry we both had, but instead it was replaced with loads of guilt on Karen’s part, as she felt she should have gone to the parties.

dp:- There’s 200 people invited to Marie’s 50th. It’s not a small family doo, Marie will understand.

kp’s mood improved as the week went on. And the house became a positive place again after the dire first few days of this week !

Friday saw Karen go shopping in loads of shops at the Arnison Centre, and go to Costco to pick up a cake for Marie’s birthday party, which Natalie kindly took over to Middlesbrough. I went to Newcastle Airport as there was a 50:50 chance  of a heli lesson, but it was too blowy even to fly dual, so click here for what we did instead.

The weekend has been a good one, but very very fast and furious because the storm that is Ethan (11)  came on Saturday and stayed the night. It’s definitely been an “interesting” weekend. It’s lovely to see him and it’s lovely to have a calm house back too !!! We know the dogs like the break they have when he goes back. Last night, we watched “The Wizard of Oz” as Ethan’s in the school production and he wanted to see what lines “Munchkin 17″ has. Here’s a photo from the dog walk we all did today.

So, funny week overall, but things look great for next week, hope her mood stays up but we think it will.

Until such point as the specialists treat kp’s anxiety in group situations, it might be best that she doesn’t attend any big group gathering. So, no funerals, weddings, bahmitzvahs (not that we know any Jewish people) etc.etc…..

Good week overall, with a bad day and some tears on friday, but she’s over that now.

Monday, Karen was in good form. Her mood was good and remained so all week, and this is so important. When her mind is right, she can tackle any problems that come her way

Nat and kp went to the gym, and Karen was knackered when she got back, as she had had a bad sleep (for no particular reason), so she snoozed for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Karen’s social worker came round in the afternoon for an annual inspection. We hadn’t met her before, but she was nice. Nat came back in time for Nikki (Neuropsyche) arriving at about 6pm. She did more assessments.

Tuesday was a nice day weather-wise, so I managed to get a heli lesson in and pass a Meteorology exam (get in there!). kp did some gardening and had a lovely dog walk with Adele (can’t remember why Nat wasn’t there).

Another nice day on wednesday, with Nat and kp shopping at the Arnison Centre. kp got the ingredients for Lasagne with salad, which we had on the night-time, lovely it was too.

Thursday, Syd (Case Manager) and Rachel (OT) came over. They wanted to discuss the future OT requirements, but kp had emailed Syd that there were some support issues she wanted to discuss. Syd came 20 minutes early, but it wasn’t enough time to cover them all off. That night, kp became very angry and frustrated that she hadn’t discussed the support issues with Syd. It occupied her mind all the time, and it was very hard to distract her. She sent an email to Syd, and she felt a little better after venting her frustration in that email.

Friday was my big day doing my cross country to Carlisle and my first solo. First solo’s are big events in a pilot’s life, and kp was very angry that the events of the day (“support issues” is all I will say) had got in the way of my “big day” (as she called it). As it turned out, the first solo was a non-event in comparison to the other things that happened during my 3-hours helicopter flying that day. Read more here.

Karen had quite an upsetting day today. I can’t say too much, but support issues that she wanted to tackle herself were rightfully taken off her hands by Syd and Patti (Case Manager and Support Worker Manager). There were a few tears whilst I was not there. But, the good news is, that Karen feels it’s sorted now and in the past, and can move on.

The weekend has been fast and furious. We don’t seemed to have stopped. Dog Walking, snoozes, talking etc etc…..and I did my 2 open water dives for the Dry Suit course in a lake today, which on a scale of 0 (no enjoyment) to 10 (loved it) would rate a “-1″. But, at least it’s done and in the past.

So, quite a busy week. Even busier one coming up, and it’s going to be a scorcher too, so hopefully it’ll be an engaging week.

Life continues to be good. kp remains positive and looking to the future.

Monday saw Patti and Nat come to the house together to sort out the Support Issues left from the previous week. We were relieved to see these sorted out, and things have improved over the week.

In the afternoon, Rachel (OT) came and worked on Karen crossing roads. We live next to a road that can vary between deadly quiet, to car’s coming up it at 50-60mph (at its worst), and it’s a 40mph stretch. So, it can be a tricky one to cross even without a brain injury, and with karen’s left inattention and slower processing speed, it can be quite dangerous. So, Rachel and Karen worked on the basics of crossing the road and where to look etc… One of Karen’s main goals is to walk the dogs like she used to and this involves crossing this road, so it’s something she’s keen to conquer. A few more practices needed!

Whilst kp was doing that, I was having a heli lesson in the Hover Square at Newcastle Airport.

Tuesday, and no Nat, as kp and I were to attend a medico-legal appointment in Newcastle. It was the second half of an appointment that had to be concluded ‘cos we didn’t fit everything in. It went without tears, which is always a good sign. Afterwards, and it was kp’s idea, we decided to lunch by the river and the walkway bridge. Here’s a bit of kp and the bridge.

We lunched at the Pitcher and Piano and the timing was great, ‘cos we got to see the bridge tilt at 12.05pm

Wimbledone once home – kp is a big fan !

Wednesday and it was gym in the morning (with Nat), and swimming lesson at Whickham Villa in the afternoon. kp came back very proud of what she had achieved in the swimming lesson, and it was lovely to see her so upbeat.

Heli lesson for me was cancelled, so I was revising “Air Navigation”.

Thursday was a gorgeous day to go to Gosforth for kp’s psychologist session. It went very well indeed, the focus was how kp felt in group situations, and her self esteem. There were a few tears, which kp didn’t see coming, but aside from that, it was worth the trip to Gosforth. Wimbledon on our return.

Friday, more rain up north. The girls went shopping and kp was in stitches on her return. Something to do with Nat trying on her new swimming nose clip.

Busy week overall, the weekend has been the usual dog walking, and the free time was spent watching the Williams sisters (Vanessa and Serena as I call them battle it out, and no doubt this afternoon, we’ll be watching Federer and Roddick. kp has a £5 bet on Roddick (placed earlier in the championship) at 22 to 1. So come on Roddick !!

Another busy week coming up.

Up and Down week. I can’t quite believe Karen has picked herself up from the down she had on Thursday, but that can only be a good sign !!

So………..

Well, of course Sunday was the Wimbledone Final and with £5 on Roddick to win (obtained when he was 22 to 1 to win), it made for exciting “shout at the TV” entertainment. He didn’t win, but what a great match. kp was in her element

Monday was “back to work” for kp. Nat took her to physio in Seaham. Good physio session for kp. Amazing she is still seeing physical progress so long after the accident and with the pain relief coming down too !!

The weather was atrocious on monday, real bad thunderstorms, and the lightning strikes were within a mile of the house. Usual “power off for a second” moments a couple of times. Was concerned the girls wouldn’t make it back, but they were fine. Once back, no time for rest as Rachel (OT) arrived. They were due to do some more “Road Safety” stuff. And I was so tempted to go in and say “Don’t let the weather stop you !”, but I refrained. It was absolutely bouncing rain-wise. Instead they went through an activity sheet that Rachel had prepared that summarises all the steps involved in crossing the road.

It was really good and thorough, but Karen found it very verbose, so Natalie did an excellent job of making it very graphical (pictorially wise) later in the week.

I was due to fly but the weather well and truly stopped play.

Once Rachel left, the girls did some brain tests that Nikki Brosnan had left. It’s a CD full of auditory attention tests. They start off easy….A bloke reading out numbers and Karen has to write a mark every time she hears a “2″. But they progress to him doing it faster, and doing much more complex things, but we’re at the easier levels at the moment. Both Nat and I did them too – moral support. Embarassingly, there was one test where kp got 100% and I got 95%. But, I blame…………..erm………….damn, can’t think of anything to blame. One of the dogs distracted me, yes, it was the dogs !! Damn Dogs !

Once bored, I retreated to do Air Nav revision, and later on, I could hear the girls planning the rest of the week (and the next week too).

Tuesday, the weather was still bad – thunderstorms continued. Karen prefers to drive around in our car than Nat’s, understandably ‘cos a Volvo is more like a tank than a Renault. But, Nat was a little concerned about driving our car as it’s very long in her eyes. So, kp and I had been discussing (at length) whether we should get another car for Nat to drive her around in. After lengthy discussion, we ended up concluding that any other car we get would still be a long one (for the dogs), so Nat might as well get used to driving our car. So, on tuesday morning, Nat and I went out together in the Volvo, to get her comfortable driving it. We were out about 30 minutes, and she seemed to do very well. So, we’ll do some more trips and then put her on the insurance. The girls went to Boundary Mill for a shopping expedition. My kind of shopping expedition. After 3 hours, they returned having spent £0.00. I have encouraged her to have more trips like that whenever she wants.

Wednesday, the girls went to the gym in the morning, and then Angela (fellow car crashee) came over. The girls had a huge catchup session. I had a heli lesson in th’afternoon.

Thursday was a busy day and a bit of a turning point, mood-wise. It started off ok with kp going for some swimming practice with Nat (at Whickham Villa). That went very well. Moments before they arrived back, Syd had arrived for a catchup, so kp went straight into that. And then whilst Syd was getting ready to leave, Nikki Brosnan (neuropsyche) arrived, so very busy day for kp. This is when the mood changed. Nikki is GREAT for kp. Karen is the first to say it. She likes “no nonsense”, “tell it how it is” people and that’s Nikki. And she did just that today. So far, with Nikki, kp has been doing loads of neuropsyche tests, but today they had to be put on hold, because kp is due to see a neuropsyche medico-legal expert from the “other side” in a week or so’s time, and the “other side”‘s neuropscyhe understandably didn’t want kp having done neuropscyhe tests recently, ‘cos they could skew her results. So, no more neuropsyche tests until we’ve seen this medico-legal person. So, instead, Nikki and kp discussed what kp would like to do in the future. And although they are nowhere near working out the final thing kp would like to do, one of the things that was discussed was a temporary “build-up” kind of solution to help kp adapt to a group working situation, and that was “working in a charity shop”. kp wasn’t too keen, but I think she would do it to achieve the final solution.

However, then Nikki asked Karen, how much information would she be happy for Nikki to share with the Charity shop people about Karen’s injuries. Well, in her head, Karen had thought she was nearly “back to her old self” and that no information would need to be shared. Nikki gave an example of Karen’s memory and how she may need her work colleagues to know that occasionally things will need to be repeated etc…..At this, Karen got very upset.

Before the accident, Karen was a very private person at work. Moreso than anyone I have ever worked with. She kept her cards very close to her chest, so for her “work” colleagues to know things like this, was very against the grain.

The upset continued for about an hour. I was thinking the worst, that kp would be back on a major downer and that she’d go back 6 months mentally etc…etc….

Nikki left once kp was “ok” again, and Karen remained very low.

Amazingly though, kp did something I couldn’t have predicted. Normally, after a big shock like this, it knocks kp back. But, rather than go backwards, kp was on the phone to Ronnie in London (who has some issues of her own), helping her with those issues. I was so proud of her. “Speaking to people” is normally the last thing kp can do when she’s been knocked back, but she was on the phone for 2 full hours helping Ronnie with her problems !! Well done kp – I’m very proud of you.

Now, although her mood didn’t bounce back, it does seem to be “under control”. I have been too scared to ask how she is, ‘cos I don’t want to hear the answer, but she seems “ok”, not brilliant, not drastic, hope that’s the case. And with the way things have been, I’m quietly hoping that she’ll bounce back !!

Friday, and kp and I were both very worried about Adele (kp’s niece). She’s been rough for about 2 weeks. We’re hoping everything’s ok. i went for another heli lesson in the afternoon.

Here’s the sky in Esh Winning on Friday night……

The weekend has been quieter thankfully. Dog walking & gardening on Saturday.

Today, kp has been catching up on TV, whilst I went to Eyemouth (in Scotland) in the hope of a couple of dives, but it was too rough. Did see a seal in the harbour though. Here’s a piccy…..

And some video of said seal……

And some more….

Not the best week, but thankfully, things improved as the week progressed.

Monday and the plan was Gym in the morning and Royal Quays (Shopping) in the afternoon. But, things went awry early. kp and I started the day with a discussion on how she was feeling, it soon became a teary discussion, but a discussion that needed to happen.

Karen was feeling very daunted by the next step of her “getting back into society”. She was putting a lot of pressure on herself, perhaps too much. We started having a chat about 9am. When Nat arrived at 9.30am, we were very deep into the chat. Nat only stayed for 5 minutes of tears, before I suggested she go into Durham for a bit, so that this chat could play itself out.

I tried to think the whole thing through very logically and explain how well Karen was doing and that she was putting too much pressure on herself and there was no rush to get to the next stage. She had to want it enough to overcome her fears, and perhaps, she wasn’t quite at the point of wanting it that much at the moment. Perhaps now was the time to have a rest phase before moving on. Anyway, it seemed to hit all the right buttons with me and Karen and although she was exhausted after it, she felt more positive. We discussed the rest of the day, and it was felt some more sleep would be beneficial, so I cancelled Nat for the day and kp went for a snooze. When she woke up later, she felt marvellous. I was really pleased !

The following day, I was surprised that when kp woke up, she was feeling very flat. After such a positive night, she was flat, it kinda didn’t make sense to either of us. We put it down to “not enough sleep”, or “being woken up whilst still in a deep sleep”. That seemed to pan out, because after a return for some more sleep, as the day progressed, she felt better and better. The girls went for a swimming lesson with Gail at Whickham Villa. Gail was great. Uncannily, she could tell Karen was stressed and instead of pushing on, she had Karen just relax in the water all lesson. Good move Gail !! I had a heli lesson in the afternoon.

Wednesday and Nat was having a “training day”, so I was the support worker. First thing on Karen’s sheet was the gym. We went to the gym and kp did great. She did about a mile on the treadmill, 3 minutes of cross-trainer, and about 300m of the rowing machine at resistance level 3. Well done kp. Then back to the house for a shower. Then it was Sainsburys. Rachel (OT) arrived at 2pm and we went through the Road Safety scoring sheets. The aim is for Karen to be able to safely cross the road, so she can take the dogs out for a walk if she wants. We live next to a road that can be very quiet, or very busy, depending on the time of day. It’s a 40mph road, but occasionally, “knobheads” go 60mph along it.

So, we have the sheets that list all the steps in crossing the road (about 15-20 steps), and we have to score kp on how well she does.

Things like …..

• “Wear bright noticeable colours”
• “Take the walking stick”
• “Pick a self place to cross the road”

And then we have to score kp with a coded system…..

• “R – Refused to do the step”
• “I – Independently and safely completed this task”
• “VP – Needed a verbal prompt to remember and/or complete the task safely”
• “G – Needed a gesture to remind her”

We were discussing some of the scoring I had given her, and I suggested an additional code to add to the system.

• “KO – Got Knocked Over”

Well, I thought it was funny and I think Rachel did too, but kp thought it a “bit sick”, but she managed a laugh as well. Rachel and kp did a few practice road crossings. I think there was one 60mph knobhead, but she did well, but still nowhere near there yet.

I even managed to get some Air Nav revision in at some point in the afternoon. Jane Burns came to stay for the night later in the day. Lots of laughs but lots of serious chat too. It was a good night.

Thursday, I took kp to see Jane the psychologist at Gosforth. We didn’t know when we entered, but it was our last session with Jane. Jane and Nikki had been talking and they felt that it was unwise to see 2 specialists of the same ilk, it felt right. In our heads, Nikki had been moving kp to her new place in her life, whereas Jane was sorting kp’s mood out. Nikki is capable of doing the mood thing too, so it will be all Nikki from now on. We think it would be beneficial to have longer sessions with Nikki though, as there never seems to be enough time when we see Jane about kp’s mood. The hour goes so quickly !

On the way back from Gosforth, we went to see the Anti-smoking nurse. She was pleased with kp’s continued abstinence and gave her a prescription for the next level of patches. Well done kp. Think it’s nearing 8 weeks now.

Nat was at our house as we arrived back and the girls did Road Safety for the rest of the afternoon. She didn’t do quite as well on this session as she did with Rachel. It was closer to rush hour traffic, and there was one crossing where it would have been “KO” on my scale if Nat hadn’t intervened. Nat said she would have made it across, but kp may not

Friday and the girls had planned a trip to York on the train. The weather could NOT have been worse for it. TORRENTIAL DOWNPOURS all day in Esh Winning. It was Heavy Rain ALL DAY. It was so bad, the bridges we normally use to cross a beck on the dog walk were under 3 feet of water. When I went on my bike ride, I couldn’t have crossed them without getting swept away. That bad. Fortunately, York wasn’t as bad. The girls went to the York Dungeons and had a laff there, and then went to Betty’s tea rooms for some lunch. They were back in the house at 4pm !!

And that’s the week. Saturday (yesterday) was dog walking, snoozing, and catching up with TV. We were both at a loose end yesterday and perhaps should have fit more in. Today has been much the same.

So, bad start, better end to the week. I got Karen a card from moonpig.com to summarise the results of our big chat at the beginning of the week. The envelope said “Only to be opened by the best woman in the world”. It was great seeing her puzzled as to who sent it. Here’s the front of the card…..

Here’s the inside….

Good week overall and a busy one.

Monday started with a trip to the gym with Nat.

Rachel (OT) came later in the morning and along with Nat, kp did some road safety training. That went very well. No “KO” today Once that was done, Karen wanted to go to a local sports centre and see an Aquafit session to see if it was suitable. She found the session a bit fast and she didn’t think she’d be able to keep up with the group. Karen is a very self-conscious person, she detested the “walk up the aisle” on our wedding day, so for her to fall behind in a group aquafit session would be awful, so I think Aquafit isn’t for her (not in a group session anyway).

On their return, they did some brain training and as it was a nice day, they took the dogs for a walk. I came back from a heli lesson to find kp in great form !!!

Tuesday, Nat and kp did some more road safety training before she went for her swimming lesson at Whickham Villa. There wasn’t much swimming practice, as Gail (Swimming Instructor/OT) wanted kp to crack getting from standing to on her back and vice versa. She did manage it a few times, so all good !! On their return, the girls did some brain training. Karen is starting to struggle as the exercises get a little harder, but it’s meant to get more challenging, so her brain improves.

Wednesday and the girls had planned a day trip to a Health Spa (Matfen Hall). Karen had come up with the idea of leaving early and stopping off at Brockbushes Farm to see if it was worth a seperate visit for strawberry picking. They had a bit there before having “Hot Stones” treatment and a massage, followed by a lovely sandwich and scone afternoon tea.

Thursday, more road safety training, and the girls went food shopping, staying out for lunch. They walked the dogs on their return and then Nat left for a week’s well-deserved holiday.

Syd and the solicitor came later in the afternoon for a meeting which lasted about 2 hours. It was all very positive. Things are starting to come to a conclusion slowly with Karen’s legal case.

Friday with me taking a break from helicopter studies, I took on Support Worker role and we did some brain training, and planned the upcoming week.

Saturday and Karen did some gardening maximising the beautifully sunny day.  Michelle and Freddie visited in the afternoon. I had a heli lesson which involved me flying over the house but I was pleased they were still there when I got back. Pizza and TV on the night time.

And today has been mostly dog walking, snooze, and more tv catching up.

I’m the support worker next week, so helicopter lessons and studying will be taking much more of a back seat. We have a busy week lined up, but kp has insisted I still try and get a heli lesson in at some point, which is great.

Well, I was the Support Worker this week as Nat was away on hols and Adele couldn’t cover as she was sick – get well soon Adele. It’s mostly been a good week, a few tears, but also some good laughs too.

We had the week all mapped out. Karen had done the planning with Nat the week before. I was given my rota and was ready to rock’n'roll.

Monday and the first order of the day was to take kp to the gym and record her progress. 20 minutes of treadmill spread over 2 sections, some rowing machine and some cross-trainer which she finds very hard. Then it was back to the house for some house cleaning. Then a spot of lunch, before we did some auditory attention training. It’s this cd which Nikki gave us where kp has to listen to this bloke read out various numbers and, for example, kp may have to write a mark every time the bloke says the number 5 followed by the number 9. It’s not as easy as it sounds as his pace can be quite fast on later exercises.

Basically, kp has to get 10/10 before we can move on to the next exercise. We got on to an exercise where the bloke was reading out numbers and kp had to record a mark every time he said a sequence where the number was followed by a number that was one up from the previous number. Karen _really_ struggled with this. Initially, it was the concept of what she had to do ie He would say…..

10 9 5 6 and she would make the mark, great, success, but then he’d fox her with…..

4 6 8 3 2 3 4 – Karen would make the mark after the 3 (as 3 is after 2), but would not realise the 4 was also after the 3 and make a mark for this.

When I explained that she shouldn’t be just treating them as pairs of numbers and that every number counts, her scores improved, but she kept losing attention and missing ones out completely. We did this quite a few times during the week, but never got 10/10. I think we overdid it, she was so keen to crack it. Her frustration peaked on thursday, and we have left it until today (monday), when we’ll be giving it another bash.

Tuesday was a trip to Seaham for physio. Good session. Small dog walk in the afternoon.

Wednesday was a trip to Costco to stock up and then Whickham Villa for some swimming practice. She did very well. Lots of laughs when I showed kp how if she did a certain maneuvre she would sink. kp finds it funny when I choke/drown – that’s reassuring. More auditory attention training in the afternoon.

Thursday was another trip to the gym but for fat burn levels of exercise after a discussion with Steve (physio). We did some gardening too.

Friday and I’d arranged a flying lesson, and kp had plans to catch up on TV, but as I was waiting to be briefed by Steve (heli instructor), kp rang, upset that she couldn’t get Sky working. Sky boxes are unreliable and need regurlarly rebooting (or that is our experience). Normally I do it, but it involves pulling the power cord out of the back of the Sky box and then putting it back in. Well, kp needed talking through this. I was on the phone to her for 20 minutes and she still couldn’t do it. A combination of not being able to get on her knees, being unable to bend for a long time and her spatial awareness difficulties meant she unplugged all the wrong leads and couldn’t get them back in again. She was as mad as hell, bordering on upset that the one and only day she got some time to herself she couldn’t catch up on her tv. I felt like sh_t ‘cos I wasn’t there to help. It wasn’t a good situation.

When I got home, kp was in lots of pain because of the 20 minutes of bending down etc…..It was so bad, she was on the oral morphine fix PLUS diclofenac and codeine. Not good. The pain continued on Saturday and Sunday, but thankfully it’s been improving, but it’s monday when I’m doing this blog and she’s still not back to her usual pain levels.

Yesterday, kp got her chance to catch up on TV as I went diving with my buddy (another David) in Scotland. Here’s some snaps and video…….

Another thing kp wanted to do yesterday, was to read about one of the witnesses of the accident. We had heard that one of the original accident witnesses was keen to know how kp was, and therefore, Karen wanted to know how she was involved in the accident. I referred kp to the entry in the blog. It was an accident witness by a lady whose name I changed to Dougal. kp had read this while I was away diving, and later told me she had been in floods of tears. She referred to her crying as a realisation and some reliving the event. She is going to discuss with the neuropsyche Nikki tomorrow.

Natalie is back today, yay ! So I can crack on with my heli theory revision, ready for the next test.

Up and down week, but generally a week in the right direction.

Monday and it was Nat’s first day back after her hols. Unfortunately, as Nat arrived, I was consoling a kp in tears. So, I ran out to the car and asked Nat to give us 10 minutes or so. The reason for the tears was that we had learned that one of the first people at the scene of the accident had been looking to find out how Karen was. This itself wasn’t the problem, of course, more that Karen was interested in what this person had done at the time of the accident, and I had pointed Karen to the relevant bits of the blog which answered her question. In the blog, I had called the lady who was first at the scene Wendy Dougal. She was absolutely superb and was the one who helped kp until the emergency services arrived. It was this lady’s statement and looking back at the blog that gave Karen full realisation that it had happened to her and not someone else.

This had caused Karen to relive some of the accident as well. And whenever Karen looks backwards, she gets upset, or that is our experience anyway. So, we had a heart to heart, and managed to get the tears dried up, by restating what we know, ie that when kp looks back, we have upset, when she looks forward, she is at her best. Karen took this one stage further and asked me to get Nat in from the car to help get her refocussed, by talking about Nat’s holiday. It seemed to do the trick and a refocussed kp resulted (temporarily)

Nat and kp went off to the gym shortly after to do more “Fat Burn” levels of exercise. They were back in time for Rachel (OT). They did some more road crossing safety. That seems to be going very well. Our road is turning out to be a bit too quiet for kp now. At rush hour, it’s the opposite of course, but at the time Rachel came (2pm) it’s quiet At the moment, Karen isn’t crossing the road herself per se, she is saying when she thinks it’s “safe to cross”. She has another 5 more road successful road crossings saying when it’s safe to cross, and then she moves on to the next stage.

Syd (Case Manager) phoned early on Tuesday to tell us that Natalie had handed her notice in She will be leaving in October to move to London. But, Syd has got a replacement lined up, someone kp had already interviewed for the last job and who was the first choice, but couldn’t take the job at that time, so that’s worked out well

In the afternoon, Karen went off for her swimming lesson at Whickham Villa with Nat. Gail met them there. Unfortunately, the pool had just been “dosed” and the water was not the usual “crystal clear” and the lesson had to be postponed, so the girls came back.

My best man, Paul Hannon, came around in the afternoon. We don’t think we’d seen him since the wedding !! So, we met him and his kids. We really enjoyed the catchup and had lots of laughs.

Nikki Brosnan was due at 5pm, but had to postpone because of the roadworks on the A1, which are causing lots of issues for the North East generally !! The A1 is like the artery of the North !

Wednesday was a gorgeous day and kp and Nat went to the gym and then gardened a good deal of the rest of the day, interspersing it with lots of breaks. I’ve been able to catch up with loads of heli revision this week – yay ! But, I had done so much on wednesday, that I couldn’t take it in, so used a bit of gardening as a nice break from the studies, and it helped. I did all the heavy work for the girls, turning over the soil etc…..

Thursday was another beautiful day – more gardening for kp/Nat. I had a flying lesson in the afternoon and got some video to show kp what I was upto. Here it is, click here. I was back in time for Nikki’s rescheduled visit. Karen had been keen to chat with Nikki. She had been holding back tears generally because she wanted to know if she should deal with the accident itself. Karen and I have been watching House and Grey’s Anatomy, and invariably when there is a patient on these medical programs that is very serious, they have things wrong with them like “MOF/multiple organ failure, ARDS/acute resipatory distress syndrome etc….” and of course, I always have to shout to kp that “YOU HAD THAT !!”. Invariably, the patients on the programs die, and I have to say “You see how lucky you were”. Typing this, I feel stupid now, because I realise, that I’m not necessarily helping the matter by saying these things. ANYWAY, back to the story……so things like this and other stuff already mentioned have left kp thinking of the accident a lot, causing her tears and upset etc etc…….Karen knows I get upset if she gets upset, and so she has been doing the best she can to hide the upset from me.

So, kp was keen to know if she should deal with these issues, or keep distracting herself, looking forward, effectively ignoring these thoughts and tears. So, we sat down with Nikki and had about 30 minutes with Nat present before she left, then another 20 minutes with me, before SHOCK HORROR, kp asked me to leave the room ! Well, this is a first. I have never NOT been involved with kp’s care. That’s bad, double negative !!! I have ALWAYS been involved with kp’s care and for me to be asked to leave the room was a bit of a shocker to say the least, but kp reassured me, and I knew that it was nothing negative. I knew that she was doing it for my benefit ie to save me distress.

I was grateful in a way that I wasn’t part of the upset that followed. Karen and I are so close that we DO feel each other’s emotions. When she’s happy, I’m happy, when she’s upset, I’m upset. That’s good for the happy times…………..and bad for the down times ! I have felt so much pain over the last 4 years, that I don’t want any more. I’m quite a black/white kind of person and I can switch off from things quite easily most of the time, but that’s when I have control. I don’t have control over kp’s upset, so I always hate the times when she’s sad, as I am so helpless to fix it. So, I was pleased on an inner level to be given a break from the distress. Karen has not told me what happened at the meeting with Nikki as Nikki suggested to keep it to herself, and wait for the next meeting when Nikki will explain it to me. I’m happy with that. The good news is that although kp did get upset when I wasn’t there (she told me that much), she came out of the session very positive. Well done Nikki and kp of course

Friday was another trip to the gym and the rescheduled Whickham Villa Swimming Lesson. Gym went fine but the swimming lesson involved more upset. Karen bumped into a young lad at Whickham Villa who’d had a brain injury. He was worse off than Karen in some areas, and kp realised again how lucky she was, but also how unlucky she was in other areas, another moment of realisation ! The swimming lesson was a bit awkward for kp as Gail’s swimming costume had gone AWOL, and she had accosted 2 physio lads to get in the pool with kp, so the lesson could continue. Well, kp felt very uncomfortable with having 2 lads help her in the water. But the swimming lesson went VERY well and kp did the best she’s ever done.

The weekend has been gardening and dog walking and weather-wise, it’s made for a good weekend.

I’ll end on a funny. Karen and I have been having a laugh over House (the american medical drama starring Hugh Laurie). We always try and predict what’s wrong (and of course we’re always incorrect), but we always predict what we think the problem is and what the treatment will be and we’re nearly always right. Only House viewers will find this amusing, but one of the possible problems is always Lupus and/or a tumour, and the remedies always involve LP (aka Lumbar Puncture), and/or MRI scans.

That’s it for this week’s blog……..

Here’s a photo my diving buddy sent me. Good piccy of me and a pipe snake fish……

Good week overall, but a real dip in it, but she bounced straight back from it, probably the most encouraging thing to take from it !!!

Monday, Nat took kp to the gym. On their return, Rachel (OT) arrived, and more road safety training. In the afternoon, the girls did more auditory attention training. kp had been struggling getting past a certain exercise. kp and I had done it about 15 times whilst Nat was on hols, and Nat and kp had done it more times the previous week, but this week, she cracked it !!! 30 out of 30 !!!

Well done kp. Now, it gets harder still, but the good news is that even if she doesn’t score 100%, she is training her brain, so it’s all good either way, even though it’s disheartening to consistently not get 100%.

No Nat on Tuesday (car problems) – but the weather was good, so kp could catch up on all the solo gardening she could do. I took Elsa to the vets because of an ear infection but that’s clearing up nicely now.

Wednesday and Karen had a neuropscyhe test for the case. It was mammoth, absolutely mammoth. Thankfully, it was within 2 miles of where we live at a place where they turn people into catholic priests. An idyllic and quiet location with beautiful grassy areas. I can tell I’m becoming a helicopter pilot, as I am thinking of everywhere as a potential landing area Would I get it in there ?

Anyway, back to kp. We went into the room with this neuropsychologist, and had about 45 minutes of “interview” (her words), and then I was asked to leave as she started the neuropsyche tests on Karen. After about 2 hours, a teary kp emerged, she was pig sick of “feeling stupid” (kp’s words). She had really struggled. The lady had said Karen could take a break when she got teary, but kp was adamant she wanted to get it over. She took a 20 minute break halfway through the day and then endured another 2 hour battery. Karen was very annoyed with the lady at one point. She was crying her eyes out because of the tests and the lady suggested, let’s take a break from the tests and continue “the interview”. Well, this made Karen on edge,

Karen :- “Why didn’t she just say ‘let’s take a break and have a chat ?’”

So, they had a chat, and with a teary Karen, they started chatting about the time in our lives when we couldn’t have kids and when her mum died. Of course, kp was still teary from the tests.

The Neuropsyche :- “I can see this still makes you upset !?”

Well, kp gave her “what for”.

kp:- “I am not upset about the kids and my mother. I’m crying ‘cos of your tests”

GO GIRL !!

So, we arrived at 10.30am, and didn’t leave until 3.30pm and that was with 20 minutes break. Very hard going for kp.
I am pleased to say kp made a great recovery from the testing upset. Another good sign she is out of the depression. I still associate every bit of upset with the depressing times of a year ago, but continually, I am reassured by things like this, that the depression is in the past

There was another test for this on Thursday. I can’t go into any detail, because kp has asked me not to include it in the blog. Before I go any further, this, in itself, is ANOTHER good sign that the old kp is back. kp was always a private person. When there’s been anything private, I’ve always asked kp if I can include it in the blog. Sometimes, I’ve been quite surprised that she’s said “yes”. The fact she is saying “No” is a sign that she’s back to her old self. Or, perhaps, I’m reading too much into it.

Anyway, something happened on Thursday, that I can’t go into detail about, but it was a bad night. Friday, after a nice visit to Angela’s, Nicky Brosnan (neuropsyche) came to see us. I’d already tipped her off, about the upset. She did an AMAZING job of turning both kp (AND me) around. Well done Nicky !!

Friday night we were once again positive again.

And the weekend has been a good one, dog walking and tv catching up.

No flying for me this week, partly due to weather, but mostly because I’ve been wanting to catch up on revision and it’s been busy with kp appointments.

Two lessons booked for next week. Karen has another busy week.

Overall a good week, but with some big realisations for kp.

Monday started with Nat taking kp to the gym for an extra long session. She’s ramping things up a bit. On her return to maximise the weather, she took the dogs for a walk, which was too much and she later paid the price. Brain training concluded monday. The dog walking was meant to be Karen walking the dogs on her own, but she decided to do a trial run with Nat. Just as well, as kp got into difficulty getting the dogs back on the lead promptly when she needed to. This brought the first of the realisations and quite a few tears. Karen thought her only obstacle was building up her stamina to walk the dogs, but hadn’t thought of the intricacies of getting them back on the leads in a hurry when you’ve got to do it with just one hand. So, kp was quite down on the night. But, I can really see a change of attitude in kp. She is determined that this accident has took up enough of her life and she’s not about to let it have any more  !!!! Good for you love !! I think Karen understands how much her getting upset affects both of us, and is working really hard with Nicky Brosnan to get her mind thinking in the right way so that we can enjoy the good times together.

Tuesday, the girls went to Whickham Villa for a swimming lesson (for kp). She did brilliantly and did her first swimming since the accident WITHOUT any buoyancy aid !!! Both on her front and back too !!!! Well done kp. She was visibly thrilled when she returned !!! She knew how well she’d done without Gail (Swimming instructor/OT) having to tell her.

After a short break, she went shopping at Arnison for a bumper food shop !!! She’d agreed with Nat to do the shop herself, so Nat waited in the cafe. She ran into difficulties along the way and I got numerous phone calls about various issues. And in the end, she had to get Nat to help, as she had sooo much stuff !!!  Some road safety training concluded Tuesday.

Wednesday, the girls were due to go to Whitby, but Karen wanted to make the most of the sun and do some gardening. They also took the dogs for a short walk to get in some more road safety training. Jane was due to come but had difficulties so she had to postpone her visit. I went to do some exams at the flying school

Thursday, brain training and road safety and a trip to the hairdressers. Unfortunately, Karen never came back from the hairdressers. This other woman with blonde hair came back. Her name is “Blondie” !!

Friday, the girls went to the Metro. They had to be back in time for me to take kp to see a consultant at Durham hospital. They were back in time and when we arrived at the hospital, we found we had the wrong dates. DOH !!! We were out by a month !!! It’s in September ! Few tears on the night time following another moment of realisation, but then kp picked herself up and by the time Big Brother came on, she was able to laugh hysterically at Rodrigo’s “No, you shut up !”

Saturday, Karen was looking forward to some time by herself. She spent the whole day gardening, tv watching, gardening, tv watching etc … Even I wasn’t home as I had gone for some flying lessons.

Today has been writing emails and blogs.

So, kp has been going through the mill a bit with her realisations this week, but because of her strong attitude and determination, she’s been bouncing back !

Great week. Jam packed and great !

Monday and Patti came to the house and together, kp and Patti interviewed Sharon (the new support worker). She seems canny. I got involved when it came to the driving section and we went out for a drive with her. She drove fine.

After Patti and Sharon left, Nat arrived and the girls went shopping.

Tuesday and Adele came up with the kids (Abbie and Louisa). They stayed until Thursday and we all had a great time. They are really well behaved and a pleasure to have. On Tuesday afternoon, we all went to Beamish. Perfect weather for it.

Despite they’re being trams/buses between the various parts of Beamish, kp was still knackered by the end.

Here’s  the video of Beamish…..

On the night time we all watched Mamma Mia with pizza and then the girls went to sleep after dp read a Gruffalo story.

kp and I slept very well that night !!

The following day, we all went shopping. Tesco & Pound shop kind of shopping.  Not the most fun, but the girls enjoyed it.

Thursday and we all went to Hall Hill Farm. A few tears on this trip (from Louisa who was bitten by a rabbit). Here’s the video of Hall Hill Farm….

The kids returned on Thursday and despite them being excellent, we always enjoy the peace when they’ve gone.

Friday and Nicky Brosnan (neuropsyche) came at 11.30am. It was a very good session. No tears from kp, and a fruitful session.

Saturday and the next bout of kids – this time, my nephew/niece (Sophie(7)and James(5)). Being much similar ages and being very excited, there were many more squabbles. They’d squabble at squabbling. Good example……

dp :- Tomorrow, we’re going to get up early and walk the dogs
Jamie :- Can I take Elsa on the lead ?
Sophie :- No, I want to take Elsa on the lead !
dp :- Let’s toss a coin for it and then it’s fair
Sophie :- ok
Jamie :- ok
dp :- Now, are you both going to be happy with the result of the toin coss ?
Reluctant nods all round.

dp :- ok……Who wants to be tails ?
Jamie :- I do !
Sophie :- I do !

So, we ended up toin cossing for the toin coss, with me allocating Sophie “heads” because the Queen was female like Sophie. What else could I do !?

Crikey !!! Where is ACAS when you need it ?!

It was a challenging 24 hours, but we enjoyed it all the same. Sophie was a bit of a diva at times, and I ended up having a chat with her along the following lines……

dp :- Right Sophie, we need to have a chat. If something doesn’t go your way, you tend to get into a strop. Do you know what that means ?
Sophie did a wry smile.
dp:- The problem with that is it means you’re being a bit of a spoiled brat.
Sophie gave a puzzled look
dp :- Do you know “Bratz” the dolls ?
Sophie :- Yes
dp :- Well, like that.

At this, she looked like she was going to cry…..

dp :- You see what I mean.

I think I gave her a hug at this point and said that this is the kind of thing she needs to avoid so that we enjoy our time together.

She understood. Later strops we gave no attention to and let her cry them out. It seemed to do the trick. The last strop saw her cry herself to sleep. And she woke up absolutely fine in the morning.

Here’s some video of Sophie and James……

We handed Sophie and James back at lunchtime on the Sunday and then went straight to Marge’s to see Marge, Mark, Tracey, Megan and Tommy.

Marge cooked us a gorgeous shepherd’s pie !     And we played games all day long with the kids.

Last night, we were alone in a quiet house and it was great. It’s funny that at one point, we were really sad we couldn’t have kids, but now we really appreciate our time on our own.

Today (Bank Holiday Monday), we are chillin’ in da hood !

Busy week with one thing or another.

First, I’m going to start with a general overview. It seems a while since I’ve done one.

kph is generally in great form at the moment. She’s quit smoking for 3 months+. Pain is in control (unless she pushes it) and the patches are on the decrease. She was on 600 at the peak and is now down to 237.5. It’s a strange amount, and that is because dropping too much has given her cold turkey, so we’re dropping by 12.5 every month now. Sleeping is 1000% better than when she was at its worst. 9/10 times she has a good sleep. Thanks to venlafaxine and amytrypteline we think.

Mood-wise, things are also vastly improved. There are still teary days, but there few and far between and whereas previously, they would have knocked her for 6, when she gets them now, she bounces back within 24 hours – a sure sign the depression is under control ! Yay !

So, life is good.

So, this week..…

Monday and kp & Nat went for a swimming lesson. It went very well. kp wasn’t as impressed as Nat and Gail, but she knows that it was an improvement. After that, she did the weekly shopping trip, allowing me to do some revision.

Tuesday and the last throes of Summer saw kp gardening. She did some road safety with the dogs. Some brain and auditory training as well. She got 27/30 on a certain auditory attention test. I managed to get the only flying lesson in of the week.

And the rest of the week followed the same pattern. She managed to get her auditory attention mark unto 29/30 !!!! Well done kp. That’s good enough to move on to the next part of the testing/training.

Saturday, we walked the dogs and caught up on TV.

Today, I’m going diving and kp has a day to herself. She’s going to catch up on emails and her tv.

Here are some photos from the week with the Boxall kids…..

Busy week.

Monday and the day started with the girls going to the Gym. Auditory Attention training followed with kp scoring 27/30 on her first attempt at a new exercise

Medico-legal appointment in the afternoon which was very interesting. kp had an early neurophysio called Paul Johnson. We were always amazed at the skill level of Paul. I remember remarking in the blog how he looked at kp and you could tell he wasn’t seeing a person, more a set of muscles and bones. It was uncanny and he worked miracles. It turned out this lady knew him and he is a Bobath tutor. It turns out this is the “dogs bollocks” of neurophysio. It was nice to get confirmation that our respect for Paul is mirrored in the neurophysio community. She also knew Heidi who is also Bobath trained, so it appears kp fortunately had the best physio she could have done to start her recovery.

Tuesday was physio, some shopping in Seaham and an OT visit in the afternoon. At OT, Rachel worked on kp’s left-sided neglect. She brought a laser pointer and used it (and some blu-tak) to train kp to attend to her left field more. It seemed to go well.

Wednesday was another medico-legal appointment (for the other side). No tears, which is good ! But, it was a long one (About 3.5 hours) with Syd here too.

Thursday and I had a heli lesson while kp  went to see Angela. They had a good catchup and Angela took kp to get some good dog beds (for our 2) plus a short walk with her dogs which kp enjoyed.

Friday and another heli lesson (for me). The weather was gorgeous !!!! Karen and Nat made the most of it with some gardening.

The weekend has been a relaxing one.

Busy jam-packed fun week. So jam-packed, I didn’t get chance to do the daily diary So, hopefully I’ll remember what happened.

Monday – Brain Training & Gym and lots of chatting.

Tuesday – Auditory Attention Training and practice road crossing whilst I had a heli lesson. I was back in time to take kp for her annual hip x-ray and review. Dr Scott was very pleased with how it looks but wants to keep regular checks as it’s far better to catch things early and fix them, than let it get loose and then try and repair it. Made sense to us.

Wednesday – Auditory Attention, Dog walk and Brain Injury book work (with me). This is a book that helps brain-injured people (and family) come to terms with the effect of a brain injury. It’s a cracking book, it really is. And we’re both getting a lot out of it.

Thursday was OT in the morning. They did more of the laser eye pointer stuff to try and get an improvement in kp’s left-sided neglect. I think it needed both Nat and Rachel to do it. Karen had misunderstood the instructions the previous week, so when it became clear she was doing it wrong, they explained and she came on really well !!

The afternoon saw Lydia (one of kp’s ex workmates) come round. What a great afternoon ! kp was laughing like I haven’t seen for quite a while. It was a real joy to see. She stayed all afternoon and kp (and I) really enjoyed the catchup !!

Friday was a solo flight to Carlisle for me and then the return flight back to Newcastle. Loved it. Karen and Nat went shopping and to Costco.

Saturday was usual dog walk, tv and catching-up on emails etc…..On the night time we watched The X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing. Great night, although I must say I’m VERY annoyed that Arlene Philips isn’t judging on Strictly. Alesha Dixon is a lovely lass, but who the hell is she to be a dancing judge. She’s not a scratch on Arlene !!! Bring Arlene Back !!!!

While I remember, Bonnie has not been very well this last week. She’s been leaving a hell of a mess on the kitchen floor every night. Very unlike her. Sometimes, there’d be 5 piles of mixed consistency poo. I’d clean it up before kp got up. We were laughing about this, because we think the problem has been caused by Bonnie stealing some Pig’s Ears off the table and scoffing the lot (only 3). We were talking earlier in the week about how to stop the diarrhoea and Karen said not to give them pig’s ears  for a week. I told her “a week’s a bit long“. Karen said “But who has to get up and clear it all up ?”

Karen then realised that it was me who gets up and clears it all up. She was laughing at herself, because she had meant to score a really good point and then realised that it was an own goal !!!

Now, last night (Saturday night), kp did get up before me and went into streaks of diarrhoea on the hallway carpet and then a kitchen floor covered in sloppy and firm poos. I was fast asleep. To top it all off, there was a big pile of diarrhoea in the Utility Room. It was bad ! Real bad !

kp came in to wake me up having tried to clear it up. Bless her, she’d tried. There was some kitchen roll on top of each of the poos  (not sure how that helped), but what she hadn’t realised is she had stepped in quite a few poos and had walked it around the house. So, a bad mess was a terrible mess. Her slippers went straight in the bin, she didn’t realise she had spread it around. Spatial Awareness issues and a diarrhoea-laden kitchen don’t go hand in hand.

So, thankfully, kp had got me up (at 5:11am) as she knew she couldn’t do it. We’re laughing about it now, but it wasn’t so funny at 5:11am.

Today, we’ve been to see my family in Lancashire. Mum cooked us a gorgeous Roast Lamb (with all the trimmings). And it was good to see everyone

So, good week. Another busy week coming up.

Well, this is the last ever blog entry. Karen has been asking me to stop writing the blog for the last few weeks, and so I’ve decided to call it a day. The legal case continues (and is set for court in October 2010). And, of course, the rehab and Karen’s hard work continue too.

I would like to take a moment to thank EVERYONE who has posted a comment on the blog. These comments were so invaluable when they came in. I remember reading them all out to Karen back in the hospital and she was always amazed at the level of support everyone gave her. THANK YOU SO MUCH for that support. It really is appreciated and I _KNOW_ it helped me along my journey through Karen’s Biggest Challenge. The blog was started and continued to let family and friends know how kp was doing. I didn’t envisage the two-way flow that would come from it, and for that I thank everyone who posted and offered a message of support.

Time for some special thanks in no particular order ……..

The early days in the hospital were awful. Marie, thank you so much for all your support. You brought food, amusing magazines and poor horse racing tips to the Green room and we made the best of a very bad situation. You also helped me by keeping everyone informed (pre-blog) on how kp was doing.  Thank you for that and of course all the work you did on the kp care rota so we ensured Karen had someone with her at all times !!

Michelle, Yvonne and Adele all helped cover the kp care rota too, so thank you to you all !!

Jane Burns dropped everything to come and be my side for about a week. She stayed with me at our house until Karen was out of the woods (1 week+), so thanks to Jane. And to Jane’s husband Tony, for the loan of Jane !!

Veronica (kp’s friend down south) – you may not have been in the area, but you were the most avid blog reader and contributor and every comment you made was read out to Karen. We thank you for your ever-lasting friendship and support !!!

My family have been awesome. Mum, Dad, Jane and Guy all came up regularly from Lancashire to support me. Not only emotionally, but with the housework which wasn’t quite up to kp’s standards under my charge. Thanks Mum for that !

Thanks to everyone who came to Karen’s homecoming !

Thanks to all Karen’s colleagues at the National Blood Service especially Angela, Deborah and Lydia. Karen couldn’t want for better work colleagues. Thanks too to Sue Brady (kp’s ex work boss) for your continuing support and friendship.

I could thank people for ever, but I’ll end with another 2 important “Thank You”s.

Thank you to the staff of the QE Hospital, Gateshead (and Sunderland Hospital). You are heroes in this story. We all thought Karen wasn’t going to make it (including you!), but this never stopped you not giving up on her and giving kp 110%.

Final thanks, of course, go to the real hero in this story, Karen Pollard ! You have battled consistently throughout this horrendous ordeal. Failure was never an option. You have been an inspiration to me and everyone who knows you.

Well done Karen, not only in the way you dealt with, and are dealing with your “biggest challenge”, but for never giving up. I am _SO_ proud of you. I know the battle is not over and the fight may never end, but I know you’ll continue to give it 110%.

All my love !

dp
xxxxx