Karen’s mood has been on the change for the past few days. She has a few things lined up for January, but still her mood is on the wane

We have booked her sister Michelle on a trip to Prague next weekend for her 40th birthday (funded by sisters, nieces and nephews). Michelle is dead pleased !

kp wishes she could go !

We have had a snoozy kind of day and a CRACKING night with Tony and Jane as our guests. Jane broght loads of meat which we grilled on a hot plate. It was lovely. We then playe Poker for about 4 hours, enjoying every minute before we brought the New Year in with me as the first footer (a North Eastern ritual). I brought in some coal and kept chanting “I don’t know you, I am a stranger” etc etc…..

We had such a good night. I am pissed asa newt as I typte this, but hat the hell, we had a good night !

All of us.

I won at Poker.

kphad a go d night – yay !

I am goijg to bed, kp is staying up with Jan for a bit.

Great night !

Hope we do it again next year !

:_)

Must sleep !

dp

What an awesome night. Best New Year’s Eve ever for me. Perfect combo of inebriation, company, entertainment and relief that kp is still here

Tony can’t sip drinks. He hasn’t got the mouth muscles for it. So we bade good night to Tony as he downed a half full tumbler of brandy in one. I don’t think it even touched his mouth, it kinda went straight down his gullet. It’s a lovely sight !

I wrote a tipsy blog and was out for the count. Karen and Jane came to bed at 5.30am !!!!!! At 7am, some idiot in Esh Winning let off a New Year Bumper Collection of Fireworks, much to the dogs’ distress. I am sure whoever it was was standing right outside our bedroom window. It sounded very close.

Anyway, little old me is the only one up. Snoring can be heard from every bedroom in the house. Dogs are walked, house is cleaned and I am twiddling my thumbs frightened to make too much noise.

I have the hammer and nails ready for Tony and Jane’s bed. If they are going to usual form, one of them will no doubt break it. I am not joking when I say I have had to repair the bed THREE times after their previous visits.

Jane has promised a cooked breakfast this morning. At this rate, I’ll be lucky to get brunch.

Anyway, I am gassing and forgetting what this blog is about.

Karen had a GREAT night. She has been up a lot since 5.30am going to the loo (commode). Poor kp. Her bladder isn’t what it used to be and she pays for a good night with a very interrupted sleep. Yesterday she went down to a 75 Patch and so far so good. I am hoping she will be less sleepy. Too early to tell.

Happy New Year to all bloggers

Strangest of days. Everyone eventually got up about 12.30pm, although kp would have rather got up a lot later.

We bade farewell to Jane and Tony, and then had a fryup before going back to bed until 6.20pm. We watched Wendi on Celebrity Mastermind (Well done Wendi!) and then had tea with “War of the Worlds”.

That’s it !!

Hope we can sleep tonight !

This morning I decided to see what would happen if I didn’t get Karen up. Would she wake up herself ? Would she buzz me to say she wanted to get up.

At 12.30pm, I chickened out and woke her up. I’ll maybe try that again some other day, but I fear she may be in bed the whole day !

She wanted me to do the same hairstyle that she gets at the hairdresses. I tried. I failed.

It’s such a fart on and involves me getting my hands full of sticky yuk.

Mostly uneventful day until Marie and Glenn came for a natter. That’s it really

Well, I got the surprise of the year this morning. We had to be up at the crack to be at Shotley Bridge Hospital (Opthamology) for 9am. 9am is before God in our lives at the moment. ESPECIALLY for kp.

I had set alarms to raise the dead. I didn’t need them. I was awoken by a naked kp who had been up for 40 minutes SHOWERING HERSELF !! She had got as far as she could without my help, but she needed help dressing. I couldn’t get round my head round that kp was up first, and that she had showered as well. It threw me for the rest of the morning.

So……………..We were early at the hospital (8.55am). We thought we would be in and out, having the first appointment of the day

Wasn’t to be. There was a cockup with Karen’s notes not being there, so at 10.30am having seen EVERYONE arrive after us and be seen before us, a lady came over and asked us if we wouldn’t mind being seen 45 minutes later (11.15am) as someone else had another appointment to go to and was running out of time. Suffice to say, we made our excuses and rescheduled.

We were a bit deflated at that point, and had a nice fryup to cheer us up. kp was really cold when we got back and had the fire on the full blast, I was sweating cobs. We compromised and I stripped to a t-shirt and she wore a shoal Marie had bought her and we turned the fire off.

There were loads of jobs to do today (time sheets for home help, incapacity benefit, petcam for cleo etc etc…). I got stuck into these as Karen sorted the mess in the Kitchen out. It took the toll on her and she had to go to sleep. I was very grateful.

I joined kp later in the afternoon and we got up 30 minutes ago for the evening’s entertainment (Poirot).

Forgot to mention that yesterday, Karen got some sort of chest infection. She has been coughing and spluttering head head off. It seemed to get a bit worse overnight, judging by her voice this morning. Fingers crossed, it doesn’t last too long.

We have physio later today, and I am giving blood this afternoon with kp coming along to see all her workmates, so she’ll need to be feeling a bit better than yesterday.

One other thing for the blog which is a bit weird. kp woke up in the night shouting in agony “David, David…….”.

I immediately fully woke up.

Her right shoulder (which she was leaning on) was really painful and she couldn’t seem to move off it ?! When I tried, she just shouted more. Eventually, I managed to lever her off it, but it was so weird, because her right shoulder was one of the areas that wasn’t injured and has never been a problem ?!

Well, kp’s shoulder never became a problem through the day. And her chest is a lot better than it was, so fingers crossed that it is on the way out !

kp was on a big downer today I think the chest and the frustration of trying to do everyday things around the house got to her big time She was in tears before physio, and I half thought we weren’t going, but she pulled through. She is understandably pissed off that her recovery is taking so long.

But, we went to physio. Her back has been great since the exercises the physio suggested. Today the first 15-20 minutes were just kp and the physio talking. kp REALLY needed this. The physio was very perceptive in noticing kp’s mood which wasn’t immediately obvious to outsiders. She asked kp what her goals were and when kp said she wanted to walk longer distances, she suggested kp be referred to a gym to build up her stamina. She also gave us a leaflet on local walks. Very helpful !

After the talk, the physio had a play with kp’s shoulder. I took a photo as kp winced in pain from time to time.

kp asked how long would it be before her left arm would be recovered. Knowing how fragile kp was today, I tensed up hoping the physio would come out with the right answer. The physio said recover can go on for 2 years or even a little longer. Good Answer or so I thought ! Phew !

With the shoulder loosened up more, she wanted to show kp an exercise that she could do with a pulley to increase the range of her left shoulder. It involves a pulley system (over a doorway). kp pulls with her strong arm and her left hand goes in the air stretching it’s usual range. The physio went to get a pulley system and pretty much as soon as she disappeared, kp was in tears.

kp asked me not to speak to her as otherwise she wouldn’t be able to control it in time for her return. kp got herself under control in perfect timing for the pulley exercises.

With these over, we went home and then straight to the Blood Donor session in Esh Winning for me to give blood and for kp to meet up with her old workmates. It wasn’t kp’s team, but she still knew everyone, although she later told me that she could only remember a few of their names, which she found a bit odd.

There were a few tears and not from kp, who was really pleased to see everyone. She caught up with all the gossip while I donated. kp’s boss was there as well and he came over and said “hi”.

kp really enjoyed the banter with her work colleagues. We came home and that is it for today.

Karen got very upset last night. A whole slew of things led to this.

1. She is fed up of her current physical limitations.

2. She had problems swallowing her meal last night and had to really think about every mouthful It was Shepherds Pie as well, so this shouldn’t have been too much of a problem.

3. The biggest cause of the upset (I believe) is Karen’s mental state. Yesterday, she went to see her work mates at a Blood Donoring session. She couldn’t remember some of their names (when she used to know them all). I tried to reassure her that I would have forgot their names if I had been off for 8 months, but Karen doesn’t suffer from the sh+te memory that I do, and this normally wouldn’t have been a problem for her and she knows it.

Hearing from the physio that it could take upto 2 years to get full recovery from her stroke really smacked her across the face. I personally don’t think she will get full recovery, but I just can’t tell her that at the moment. She firmly believes that she will be back to the pre-accident kp. It’s heartbreaking for me to hear her believe so strongly that she will make a full recovery. At the same time, it’s important she thinks that she can for her current mental state, and also to get the best recovery she can, I feel she needs to have something to aim for.

Another setback yesterday was a conversation with her boss. Her boss was discussing re-integrating Karen back into the new procedures at work etc, inviting her into work to see people who can help her etc etc. Her boss meant this in the nicest possible way I should add. He didn’t want Karen to feel like they didn’t care and that she was being kept out of the loop. But Karen really struggled with this.

She is obviously nowhere near returning to work (mentally and physically) and she couldn’t understand why the physio was saying it could take 2 years to recover and yet her boss was talking about re-integration. Everyone who reads this will understand that the two parties don’t talk to each other, but Karen couldn’t get her head round the fact that the physio and her boss had 2 different viewpoints and they didn’t match. Poor kp It’s subtle ways like this that the stroke has affected her reasoning.

Hopefully when she wakes up this morning, she will feel better mentally. Whatever, we agreed to contact the NeuroPsychologist, as Karen definately needs to hear from someone who understands what is happening to allay her worries.

We also have a visit today to the Stroke Consultant (back at the Q.E.). kp will no doubt raise it with him, along with the hernia she has. (This is nothing new and has had this since the first operation, when they didn’t sew up the stomach muscles). The hernia is really started to get on kp’s pip. She has the biggest of stomach scars anyway that I have ever seen on a person, but the hernia means that her stomach is a strange shape and she doesn’t like it. From my perspective, it does look strange, but it also feels strange. This morning, I was gently snoozing with my arm across kp’s stomach, when she did a big cough (her chesty cough came back overnight). Well, my hand shot up from her stomach (with the force of the cough). It took me by surprise and I didn’t feel like snoozing any more.

A bit of a subdued day overall.

When we got up, kp started to discussing the ironing/washing she needed doing. I already felt I had a full few days ahead with various appointments, jobs, paperwork etc… and this really made me feel low. kp could sense this and we had a chat about it. kp feels guilty that she makes me feel low, I feel guilty that she feels guilty etc etc etc…..We both blame it on the situation and not each other, but still it’s tricky.

Anyway, we got past this although both remained subdued for much of the day.

I was exhausted by 1pm and desperately needed a snooze before we went to the hospital. kp woke me up at 1.50pm and we went to see kp’s consultant. It was lovely to see him and we had a nice chat. He was pleased with her progress. kp brought up the hernia situation, and he checked the notes and gave her a quick examination and said it will need operating on. There is no rush, but it is in kp’s interest to have it done sooner rather than later so that she doesn’t feel as loose in the stomach area. It’s quite routine apparently and she will only be in a few days. We’ll have a think about this over the next few days about when/where she wants it done. He also reassured kp that forgetting people’s names was “ok” and provided her some tips that might help.

The appointment over, we went up to Ward 22 to see the staff. It was lovely to see the few faces that were around. They were very pleased to see Karen and all had a good laugh about “old times”

When we left, kp had remembered most of their names, but one of them completely eluded her. She thought the Ward Manager was called “Lorna”. Close Love !

That’s about it for today.

Uneventful Day !

I got up late (11am) and went to walk the dogs. Whilst on the walk, at the top of the hill, I looked back at our house and could see kp waving me (in her bright pink dressing gown), I frantically waved back, but knowing her sight isn’t what it used to be, and thinking she couldn’t see me wave, I shouted “I love you” not thinking she would hear me. I was probably half a mile away.

When I got back, she said she did hear it

Angela visited today and we had a good chinwag with her about the accident, benefits and lots of other relevant stuff. It was nice to see her and catch up on her experiences.

I picked Marie up at 3pm and at 7pm we had a Fish Dinner. She is staying the weekend.

That’s it for today. Oh, just forgot, kp scalded her right foot today when one of the dogs’ tails knocked over a new full cup of tea on her foot. We bathed it with loads of cold water and it doesn’t seem to be bothering her now.

Well, I wrote this blog last night, but am posting it a very specific time. Michelle and Freddy are going to Prague for Michelle’s 40th (today). All the sisters, Chris and Craig clubbed together to pay for it. Michelle is over the moon but really wished kp was going.

What Michelle doesn’t know, is Karen and I are going. I couldn’t post this any earlier than this, because Michelle reads the blog and I didn’t want to spoil the surprise. So, she will get a big surprise at the airport tomorrow (today).

This means it is unlikely there will be any blog posts (unless the hotel has internet access) until next Tuesday 10th January.

Marie is very kindly looking after the dogs for the next few days.

In the meantime, here are some fotos from XMas Day (courtesy of Susa Yates, thanks Susa).

A nice one of kp smiling with Champagne in her hand

Grandpa makes Jamie laugh in mum’s (my sister Jane’s) hands

Lovely one of kp laughing (with her pratt of a husband pulling a stupid face to camera)

Me trying to make Jamie laugh

Saturday 7th January 2006

No dogs to take to kennel for our Prague trip thanks to Marie who very kindly agreed to housesit them. We arrived at the airport in good time, but a bit anxious about how we would be treated with kp being a wheelchair passenger.

We needn’t have worried. Easyjet were superb and really looked after us. They explained how wheelchair passengers were boarded etc etc…. It really put my mind at rest.

The big challenge for the day was the surprise for Michelle who had NO idea we were going with her on her 40th birthday. The plan was to get to the departure gate BEFORE they did and get a viewing seat to catch them entering the departure lounge. The best made plans of mice and men………………

We got Marie to phone Michelle to find her whereabouts. She was late – typical Michelle. We chose a convenient vantage point in a bar where we could see everyone entering the departure area. I say “we”, kp couldn’t pick out faces from the distance we were at. I spent 70 minutes drinking beer and watching EVERY person entering. Well, either the beer or my poor eye sight let me down and we didn’t see them. We were fretting that they were going to miss the plane as I was 100% sure they hadn’t come through.

Boarding time came and we had to go to the gate.

We were intercepted en route by name and ushered towards the Batmobile, well, the ambulift (but batmobile sounds better). . They must have been only expecting one wheelchair passenger at that time but it was still nice to not have to announce yourselves to someone. They took us to Gate 7 where we boarded the batmobile. It’s like a hollowed out catering supply van which goes up and down. We boarded, it went down. Someone drove us to the airplane where we boarded the starboard door. Here is kp in the batmobile……..

And here is kp going up towards the starboard plane door……

We were the first on, and got front seats. Yay ! We were very anxious at this stage, because we hadn’t seen Michelle and Freddy (Michelle’s partner). Gail, the Senior Air Crew, sensed our anxiety and kp explained all. She VERY kindly reserved 2 more front seats for Michelle and Freddy. She said she would help with the surprise by shielding us from their view. She stood in between our starboard front seats and the cabin door so anyone enetering the plane couldn’t see us.

She inspected everyone’s boarding card looking for Michelle’s name and when Michelle boarded COMPLETELY oblivious to our presence………..

Gail :- Are you Michelle Nelson ?
Michelle :- Yes (worried look on her face).
Gail :- Are you 40 today ?
Michelle :- Yes (even more worried face)
Gail :- I have a surprise for you…..

At this point, she stood to one side…………..

Michelle was GOBSMACKED !!!! AND nearly took a fit !!!!

Michelle took about 5 minutes for everything to sink in……

She said she was having heart palpitations…..

We had planned the surprise so much, the plans went completely tits up but worked out being better than we could have ever planned !

By the end of the 1hr 55min flight Michelle had got a control of herself and was ready to enjoy a lovely 3 days in Prague.

On the first night, we went to a restaurant around the corner from the hotel which kp and I had been to 1 of our previous trips to Prague. It was about 200 yards from the hotel and kp said she wanted to walk it. Walk it she did (Yoda voice).

We had a lovely meal and each had a cocktail. kp and Michelle had a Pina Colada, Freddy stuck to his whisky and I had a B52. Gorgeous………..

kp with her Pina Colada……

kp, Michelle and Freddy on the first evening meal…..

We walked back. By this time, kp was starting to feel a bit worse for all the walking. But, she made it back and got ready for bed…….

Here is a photo of our room……….As soon as I had taken this photo, Karen said “You can delete that”. I don’t think she wanted to appear on the blog in her nighty. Well, I have compromised and blotted her out(ish)…..

Sunday 8th January 2006

Before bedtime, we told Michelle and Freddy to be down for breakfast by 10.15am so that we could be ready for our trip with George around Prague by 11am. Being Sunday, breakfast finished at 10.30am. At 10.45am, kp and I were back in our bedroom after a typically continental breakfast, a bit worried that we hadn’t seen Freddy and Michelle at breakfast and that they might miss the tour with George.

I phoned their room. A cheery Michelle answered.

Michelle :- Good Morning
dp:- Are you all set for meeting George ?
Michelle :- Yup, but we’ll see you down at breakfast first.
dp:- Breakfast is finished. It finished at 10.30am.

Michelle and Freddy had forgotten to adjust to Czech time. They thought they had an hour to spare. They hurried to be ready for the tour with George. They were only 5-10 minutes late.

George is a native Czech who grew up in Czecholslovakia under Communism and has seen the big changes the country has undergone in its fascinating history including the split of the Czech Republic from Slovakia. He speaks excellent english and his tours are second to NONE. Every time we go to Prague, we book up with George and we have never been disappointed. If you go to Prague, book a tour with him. You won’t regret it. His website is http://www.praguemaster.com or you can email him at george@praguemaster.com.

Prague is NOT designed for wheelchairs. Finding a pavement with tarmac is a rarity. More often we were faced with mosaic-like pavements with mosaic pieces missing. These made for a very bumpy ride for kp and a very concentrated drive for me. It only takes one of the mosaic pieces to be missing for kp’s wheelchair to stop in its tracks and for kp to move quickly towards the pavement heads first. Thankfully, she only “nearly fell out” once, although there were a number of emergency stops. The worst ones were in the middle of the roads (with cars hurtling towards you), when a wheelchair wheel would get stuck in a tram rail track

It made for an interesting ride.

The weather outside was BITTER. It was -2′C before taking any wind into account. kp was in the wheelchair and wrapped up to the hilt with coats, scarves, hats and the added fleece Marie had got her to cover her legs.

Within 15 minutes of us walking, kp was freezing. Because she wasn’t walking, she was so much more susceptible to the cold than us. So………what do you do……..you have your first pit stop (or should that be pub stop). Mulled Wine for George and I, Freddy’s usual Double Whisky, Michelle and kp sensibly had hot tea (with cream (NICE ! )

George took this photo of us all. I think the mulled wine had taken its toll on his photographic skills……..

Warmed up, we carried on through Wenceslas Square to “Old Town” Square, then following the river, we passed the famous Charles Bridge. At this point, George took a much better photo (the mulled wine must have worn off)……..

At this point, kp was soooooo cold we had to get a tram to the Microbrewery, a favourite haunt of Karen and I’s (and George’s !). Here, they brew their own variety of beers (Banana, Walnut, Vanilla, Cherry etc…) and they also do a lovely lunch.

We enjoyed the different beers and spent a good 90 minutes in George’s company hearing his stories about the Czech Republic. He is good company and a good laugh to boot.

Here he is with kp in the foreground……

George left us after lunch and we returned to the hotel for a snooze. kp was exhausted (and so was I). We had a few hours sleep ready for a night in Prague. Unfortunately, when we woke up, kp was feeling grotty. She had done a bit of walking during the day (to try and keep warm) and I think it had had took its toll. Couple that with the rocky wheelchair rides and lots of concentration, she was not a well bunny. She didn’t want to leave the hotel. So, I did what all good husbands do, left her alone in bed and went for a meal with Freddy and Michelle. I did have the Royal Seal of Approval and the restaurant was within spitting distance (if you really cock your neck back).

It wasn’t the same without kp, but we made the best of it, and Freddy had a doggy bag prepared for kp. When we got back, kp was feeling much better and she invited Michelle and Freddy to the room. She devoured Freddy’s doggy bag………And then Michelle and Karen pretended to be asleep for the camera……..

Yes, she REALLY does sleep with a grimace on her face. It’s a known family joke !

kp couldn’t keep a straight face !

Monday 9th January 2006

The following day, kp and I were too tired to get up for breafast, but Michelle and Freddy made it. At about 11am, we all headed in to town to spend a bit more time exploring the sights and the shops with the usual frequent stops in bars to warm Karen up.

Here is a photo of Freddy, Michelle and Karen in “Old Town” Square in front of a famous church (I forget the name, sorry George).

Soon after this, we went for lunch and I started to get a Migraine It was horrid. We would have stayed out longer, but under the circumstances, I needed to get back to the hotel asap to lie in a dark room. kp had to come with me, but I think she was ready for a snooze anyway.

We had booked a meal for the evening (8pm) at a restaurant George had recommended and we had planned to meet Michelle and Freddy back at the hotel at 7.45pm to get a taxi to the restaurant. They didn’t show. We were a little bit worried. We tried to contact them by every means possible (no sign). We went to the restaurant. At about 8.30pm (30 minutes late) we started to receive communication from them both via mobile phone. They were both drunk and lost in Prague. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr ! I had to leave Karen alone in the restaurant to go and find Michelle (by this stage Freddy and Michelle had fallen out and gone their seperate ways). It was 9.10pm when we ordered our meals (minus Freddy).

kp and I were both a bit peeved to say the least. This evening aside, we had a great time in Prague with Michelle and Freddy. Karen found the reliance on the wheelchair to be a bit much at times and I know she hasn’t enjoyed the holiday as much as previous trips because of the accident, but as my dad said on the phone to us while we were out there, she is VERY brave for even thinking about taking a trip abroad so soon after the accident and so early in her recovery.

I hadn’t thought of it like that until he said that, but Karen, you are very brave, and I am very proud of you for making the best of the holiday that you could !!

Well done love……………

Tuesday 10th January 2006

This morning, Freddy and Michelle had made up……….

Today, there was no time to sightsee, only time to breakfast, pack and come home. Karen and I got pre-boarded because she was in the wheelchair, which was great. First on the plane, front seats, which is great. The flight was delayed because a poor chap (on the inbound flight) had chucked his passport away (by accident) in the rubbish, so the cabin crew had to search the plane high and low to try and find it. Peter (Senior Cabin Chappy) found it in the end by searching through all the rubbish from the plane (which was now out on the tarmac). Nice one Peter !

A nice couple of endings to the holiday.

1 – Because kp and I were last off the plane and we had to wait for the batmobile to come, the pilots invited us onto the flight deck for a look around. kp had never seen a flight deck before and was well impressed. Me too !

2 – And the best bit, we got home to a sparklingly clean house courtesy of Marie. Thanks Marie, we are very grateful, although you have smeared some of the glasswork in the front room

We had breakfast with Marie before we took her to the bus station in Durham and we headed to Physio.

Today’s session began with a focus on Karen’s walking. The physio emphasised of kp exercising her pelvic muscles in order to better her walking. She showed kp how she walked by placing a mirror in front of her and getting her to watch herself…..

Every time kp takes a step (with her weight onto her right side) her whole hip gives way and she slumps on to the leg that is carrying the weight. This is due to weakness in her right side due to the pelvic/hip fractures and the fact the muscles have wasted away due to disuse.

These muscles are kp’s top priority to exercise now according to the physio. We had been a bit lax in our exercises (you would think I was doing them when I say it like that), because of the Prague trip.

With a way forward for the walking, focus turned to kp’s left arm/hand. It seems physios have certain methods to gauge how well progress is being made in different areas. Frequent bloggers may remember the timed walks kp had to do in hospital to gauge improvement in her walking. Well, today the physio wanted to measure the speed in which kp could place 10 pins (small ones) into 10 holes and then remove them all. The idea being they could remeasure it in a month or so time to see how fast she got.

Here is kp trying to get a pin in a hole………

Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to get any of the pins in any of the holes But, as the physio pointed out, that’s ok, because we can see how many she manages in a few weeks time.

Knowing she couldn’t get any, the physio introduced a bottle full of buttons. kp had to pick a button out of the glass jar and put them on the table.

kp has very little control over her left arm/hand and when she tried it was very much like one of those cranes at the arcades where you hope to win a watch by grabbing it with the crane hook. Occasionally she would get a button, occasionally she would knock the jar of buttons over. This was a bit disheartening, so……..

The physio changed it round so kp had to get the buttons (one by one) out of the jar lid (much lower on the table) and place them in the jar. kp started off with all the effort for the movements coming from her shoulder. The physio showed kp how it should be done, and kp put all her concentration into doing it the way the physio suggested. It definately helped kp as by the end of the button-moving session, kp was able to pick up a button with her thumb/forefinger and drop it in the jar !! There was a DEFINATE improvement !!

After a bit of a rest, the physio got some playdoh kind of material that looked like blutak and gave it to Karen.

Here is kp with the blue stuff………

kp was trying to mould it, but struggle, I just wanted a play myself but had to contain myself.

It came from a container marked “Medium”. Apparently, you can get this gunk in different consistencies and she tried Karen on the middle-of-the-road stuff. What kp had to do was try and squash it with her left hand and ideally make it into a ball. Well, kp had difficulties with the blue “medium” variety, so the physio went to get the more malleable yellow stuff. It is the weirdest stuff. If you left a round ball shape of even the “hard” level on a table, and came back to it an hour later, it would be as flat as a pancake and have spread across the table.

kp could mould the “yellow” stuff and she has to practice moulding it into shapes over the next week. She offered to carry the “yellow” stuff to the car. But she forgot it was there……….Here is the result…………

It comes off fine though weirdly…

I rolled it into a ball, left it on the car dashboard. It was flat as a pancake when we got home.

I am getting too excited about a ball of goo.

Our next appointment was at home and was a chap from Social Services to assess kp financially to see how much she should contribute towards her own care. He was very amenable and very helpful. We’ll know the result soon.

Then at 4pm the neuropsychologist (NP) came. Regular bloggers will know that kp felt VERY down last week and we had arranged to see her. She was lovely. This lady is so insightful and can really get to the bottom of mental issues.

kp explained her predicament and the NP pointed kp in the right direction on a number of issues. When she got to the question of kp’s mood, Karen broke down into tears and got quite emotional. I hate to see her upset and my gut reaction is to jump up and go and comfort her, but I held myself back so that the NP could tackle the issues.

There was lots of upset for about an hour as the NP talked kp through her situation. There is too much to go into on the blog, but suffice to say………the NP hit the nail completely on the head. In a later tearful discussion, after the NP had left, it is clear that …..

• kp is grieving her old life. She wishes she hadn’t had the accident and she was the old “kp”
• She feels like she isn’t the life and soul of a group like she used to be. kp would always be the funnest thing at a family gathering. She gave Prague as an example. We had a good time, but she would have been more the jokemaker as the old “kp”.

The NP was superb and I have no doubt that she has helped kp put somethings into perspective. In the short term, kp has got upset about her situation, but kp couldn’t have gone forward until she realises where she is, which I think she will now start to do.

There are to be more NP sessions over the next few weeks which I really feel will help kp.

We had a very eventful day today, and kp was exhausted. As soon as we had chatted after the NP’s departure, kp went straight to bed.

That’s enough excitement for one day.

Tomorrow, we have Tracy and Marge coming to stay with us for a few days. We are both really looking forward to seeing them. I am especially looking forward to the huge amount of cooking they will be doing whilst they are here. I have ordered in loads of food from Tesco’s so they can cook Lasagne’s and Shepherd’s Pies until they drop. I have enough foil containers coming to freeze enough food to last us until Xmas 2008.

On a serious note, we are looking forward to seeing you two !! But, on a serious note, I HAVE GOT LOADS OF FOIL CONTAINERS WAITING !

Only kidding (cough cough).

Fingers crossed, kp is feeling more positive when I wake her up at 7.30pm

Uneventful Day.

I picked Tracy and Marge up at the airport at 8.40am. It was lovely to see them again. After I took them home and walked the dogs, I got kp up. We all had breakfast and talked for hours. kp and I then had a snooze.

That’s really it for today.

One other thing. Today was the date for the magistrate’s court hearing for the chap who caused the accident. The result was the case has been adjourned until February 10th (at the request of the defence) because the defence’s solicitor wants more information from the prosecution.

Last night, we had a good night eating Chinese. Lots of talking. Karen tried to explain to Tracy and Marge how different (in her head) she feels. She doesn’t feel that she is as much fun (in company) as she used to be. We, of course, tried to reassure her she was, but she feels deep down inside herself that she has lot a bit of sparkle.

At 12am, Tracy and I retired. Marge and kp stayed up until 1am.

Friday the 13th today, that explains a lot. Karen has been feeling really down today, despite Tracy and Marge’s presence. I feel so sorry for her. She started crying while we were getting her ready in the bathroom. She had an awful night’s sleep and I suspect some of it is tiredness, but the rest is her current mental state which couldn’t get much lower. Normally distractions help prevent such times, but they haven’t helped today.

We had another episode of crying when she joined Marge and Tracy for breakfast. This time, it was my fault. I had arranged for a plumber to come to fix our boiler next Friday, but it clashes with a lunch Karen had planned with Ronnie (not in the diary). She asked me to change the plumber. I was a bit miffed and asked her to change it. She tried to change it, but she couldn’t hold the phone and the diary at the same time when the plumber started suggesting dates and so she got upset. I felt so guilty. I can be SUCH a pratt sometimes. I don’t deserve her sometimes

She has been very quiet all day. Diane came today to give us all a massage. Even this didn’t change Karen’s general mood, but she managed to keep a smiley face for her visit.

Hopefully a good night’s sleep will leave her with a bit more energy to tackle these low feelings. And her husband is gonna try and be a bit more supportive.

Together we can crack anything……

Uneventful Day.

kp had an awful night sleep. I had laid her out 5 sets of toilet paper to use with the commode overnight. She used all 5 and then some

Poor kp. She must have been up in the night 6-7 times at least. I am pissed off if I have to get up twice in a night.

We let her sleep in until 2.45pm.

Tracy and Marge have been making food all day. kp and I have no room left in our freezers now. They made 5 Shepherd’s Pie (or as Marge labelled them “Sherperd’s Pie”). And about 6 Lasagnes.

I am full just thinking about the eating we have to do.

We had a cracking night tonight watching some Strictly Come Dancing imitation on ice. It was good. And then Big Brother. We have Sunday Lunch tomorrow with all kp’s family and Tracy and Marge before they return home.

kp was a bit better today. Not back to full form, but she definately was better for being left in bed until mid-afternoon.

kp had a better night sleep last night and got up perfectly in time for our 12.30pm lunch guests arriving.

We had planned a lunch with the family to celebrate Michelle’s birthday and to make the most of Marge and Tracy being in the area. No kids, just adults. The lunch was at the Stonebridge in Durham.

Here we are before stuffing our faces……..

The meal was nothing special. Overcooked Beef, not enough potatoes – this seems to be the norm for County Durham Sunday Lunches according to our recent experience There were 2 roast potatoes on my plate and the beef was overcooked. I don’t like having to order food and drinks at the bar either. I came away for lunch to have a rest, not serve myself. I should have done the washing-up to complete the cycle

Anyway, whinging aside, the company was good and everyone had a laugh

Karen was quieter than her usual self, but managed to have enough input into conversations so as not to appear rude. After all the guests left, I dropped Tracy off at the airport. We had a good natter on the way and reflected on how Karen has changed since the accident. It made me a little sad to hear verbal confirmation from someone else about how Karen has changed. But, there was nothing I didn’t really know.

We really enjoyed Tracy and Marge’s visit. They left us having cooked 3 “Sherpherd’s Pies” and 4 Lasagnes. Each meal being enough for 2. They are available for party catering

Thanks Tracy and Marge.

I’ll end on a funny incident from Prague which I forgot to record in the Blog entry for the Prague holiday.

Let me paint the scene. Karen, Michelle, Freddy and I are sitting around a table in a Czech restaurant having just received our main courses.

Michelle (to the waitress) :- Have you got any vinegar ?
The waitress looked at Michelle with a puzzled look, clearly not understanding what vinegar was.

Karen then boldly stepped into the conversation with a quick look to Michelle as if to say, “I have been to Prague before, I can get Vinegar for you.” We were all expecting karen to either say vinegar (in czech) or know some other way of indicating vinegar. Instead………..

Karen (to the waitress) (LOUDLY) :- VIN-E-GAR !

Needless to say, the waitress was still none the wiser and we were in stitches at Karen’s translation.

My dad’s the same…..He firmly believes he can speak any language. You just say it in english twice as loud whilst gesticulating with your hands – that’s right Dad isn’t it ?!

ok…that’s enough blog for today…..Oh, I have to end on a really bit of good geeky news. This is “sad”. You have been warned.

Karen’s Blog website is now Google’s top rated site if you search for “Karen Pollard” (with or without the quotes). So, if you ever want to get to Karen’s website, just go to http://www.google.com and type in “Karen Pollard” (with or without the quotes) and then click “I am feeling lucky”. It takes you straight there. This is correct as of today. If you are reading this blog in 3 years time, then this may not be the case.

Early start today. We had to be in Sunderland for 10am to see Karen’s Orthopedic Surgeons (orthopods) for a checkup. Whilst we were waiting, Angela (Karen’s workmate who was in the front passenger seat in the car crash) and her husband (Neil) turned up to see the consultant as well. She had similar injuries to Karen. It was good to see her and nicely passed the time while we waited.

We pretty much went from waiting room to waiting room with them which was nice.

First stop was to get some x-rays so they could see if any of the pins, plates had moved. They took 3 pictures.

Here is the best one (if you can have best x-rays).

Hasn’t she got a lovely smile ?

The Orthopedic Surgeons were great and very thorough when they saw Karen. They talked gobbledy gook to each other and kept nodding to each other and wow’ing themselves with their handiwork and Karen’s progress. They were like car mechanics looking at a vintage Austin Healey and it’s amazing condition. As long as they didn’t try and polish the headlamps, I was happy.

In full flow of their medical technospeak, they turned to Karen and I and said (and I am paraphrasing because we hadn’t a clue what they were saying….)………

OrthoPod 1 (flicking a look to Karen after talking to Orthopod 2) :- And how is your distulating veribule ? That’s no longer an issue ?

Of course, you want to say “yes”, but both of us looked at each other to see if the other had understood what he was on about…….

When we looked confused, he made no effort to translate, so we felt a bit stupid…..

dp :- Sorry, how is what ????

Basically, he was asking how Karen’s pinsite was that had got infected. I explained she had 2 further ops to clean it out and it was now fine.

Phew !

In summary, neither Karen or I were ready for any big bad news today, and it wasn’t until we got to the hospital that it dawned on us that there MAY be some unexpected news of the day. But, we needn’t have worried………….All is fine. Karen needs a further op to close up the stomach muscles, and one of the orthopedic surgeons will come along for that operation, and while they have her wide open, will remove the main plate holding the pelvis together (the bottom one on the diagram). Apparently, the pins coming from that plate can cause problems in the future, and it would be better to whip it out whilst she was open rather than go in yet again in the future.

We stopped off to get two of the car’s tyres changed on the way back and had a nice bacon buttie back at home. Snooze followed buttie…….

And that’s it for the day……….Busy day tomorrow……..

9.30am Eye Hospital
1pm Physio

and after physio, we have to go to 2 different places in Gateshead and then back to Sunderland to get the remaining 2 car tyres changed.

Today, we didn’t know if we were coming or going.

I was up at 3am because I couldn’t sleep and didn’t go back to bed. By 7am I had walked the dogs and was raising the dead (Karen). I asked her to do her exercises while I got her clothes ready and checked my email. She started doing them on one side. When I returned, she was fast asleep.

At 9.25am we were at the opticians. After the big delays last time, they really looked after us today. We skipped straight to the front of the queue and by 9.30am we were in.

It was just the usual eyetest you get when you have your eyes tested for a prescription. I tried to take a photo of kp with the funny specs on, but it didn’t quite come out…..

The tests lasted about 25 minutes. We know kp’s right eye doesn’t work very well, so that was old news. To help her read, the optician recommended a certain strength of glasses. We’ll get her some glasses in due course.

From the optician, we went to Costco to get some shopping in, then onto Interlink to pick up a parcel. We then went home to find Marie had hoovered the house. We had a cup of tea (5 minutes worth) and then straight off to physio. Whilst kp was in physio, I nipped off to get the back tyres changed on the car. We nearly got them changed at Costco until we found out the price (£94 PER TYRE). I got 2 done at K J Tyres in Sunderland for £84.

kp did very well at Physio today. She had religiously done her exercises and regular blog readers will remember she couldn’t get ANY pins in the holes last week. Today, she got 3 in !!!! Her difficulty is not so much lifting them as the care needed to get them in the holes.

The physio showed kp a model shoulder blade so she could show kp how her arm moves incorrectly and how it should move. I think it helped her !

The physio also commented on the improvement in kp’s hip muscles. Nice one kp !

Physio over, we went home and had some lunch with Marie who had done even more cleaning/tidying. At this point, kp was exhausted and wanted a snooze. We had the loveliest of snoozes. Both out like a light. Poor Marie. She came, jobbed on and only saw kp for 30 minutes when she woke up at 6pm.

Our washing machine packed up this afternoon to finish off a really full day. I tried to fix it, leaving water all over the utility room floor

I didn’t find anything wrong (me, the washing machine engineer). So, fingers crossed, unblocking a filter (that wasn’t really blocked) may help ?!

Full day. Tomorrow is quieter with only the OT visiting to show kp how to do a sandwich with one hand. kp is quite looking forward to it.

A lie-in today which was well received by both of us.

kp was up by about 11.15am and with the OT coming at 1pm, she skipped breakfast in anticipation of her self-made sandwich for lunch.

kp did REALLY well at making a sandwich.

• Getting everything from around the kitchen – NO PROBLEM
• Buttering the bread – I thought this would be the show stopper, but she has now developed enough movement in her left hand that she can use the left hand as a stopper to prevent the bread from coming off when it’s being buttered.

• Ham on to bread – NO PROBLEM
• Slicing a tomato – Karen used her left hand to steady the tomato, and then proceeded to cut the tomato with her right. Now, bear in mind, Karen has VERY little feeling in her arm/hand and isn’t really aware of where it is, by feel. By sight, she tends not to see things on the left. Combine these two things together and the result is a shriek from me and the OT as Karen began cutting into her left hand !!!!! THANKFULLY, she was using the blunt bread buttering knife and no blood was drawn. Karen laughed at herself when we shrieked.

Everything else proceeded without incident. She did very well. The only other thing she struggled with is cling filming the ham to put back in the fridge.

Typical Karen, not content with a ham/tomato sandwich, she popped it in the George Formby Grill to have it toasted.

Next week, she is making a stew !!!!!!!!!!!!!! The following week, she is being taken shopping in Sainsburys with no help from me ! I can sense ironing is coming up, one week in 2006. Oh joy !!

That’s pretty much it for today.

A cracking day today !

Cracking !

I let kp lie-in until 12pm after her day yesterday. We had a fry-up breakfast, before kp said “I’d like to take one of the dogs for a walk.”

This is her objective for the month and to do it so early in the month was marvellous. We carefully picked which dog and I took Elsa for the first 200 yards until she wasn’t as excited that she was going on a walk.

And then it was over to kp !!!

For those of you who want to see it (video style), click here

I told Karen where I thought she should walk to. She doubled it and some, ending up walking just under a quarter of a mile by my reckoning. I told her it was too far, but she wouldn’t listen – typical wife.

Who was right !!??

!SMUG GRIN!

Me !

By the time we got back, she could barely cross the road. Thankfully, we have traffic lights outside our house at the moment as they are renewing the water main, so all the traffic was stopped for Karen to cross.

She went straight to bed on her return, not so much to sleep, as to lie down, but she slept anyway !

We had Lasagne, Salad and New Potatoes for tea (courtesy of Marge and Tracy). It was lovely.

That’s it for today !

Happy Birthday Mum !!!! You got your bus pass yet ?

Karen was in quite a bit of pain last night and whilst still asleep was wincing when she tried to move.

Having had a really good day yesterday, I set out to get very merry. I ended up drunk and fell asleep in bed, mid conversation with Karen.

I got up at 6am to walk the dogs as our new washing machine was due to arrive between 7am and 1pm.

I had to have my sorry face on this morning when I woke Karen up. I deployed my soulful dog eyes look. It didn’t help too much.

We had no running water today and had to rely on a bath full of cold water (that I had prepared yesterday) to get Karen washed. A really good example of how Karen has changed (mentally) presented itself today…….

Karen had to clean her teeth, but there was no water from the tap. I had brought in a pan of cold water. She couldn’t work out how to clean her teeth without the running water. That might sound bizarre, but she just couldn’t. I had to explain that she should put the toothpaste on as normal and then dip it in the pan. Spit out into the loo…….etc etc…………

To be fair, I was a bit flummoxed. When it came to washing Karen’s hair in the sink, I had to boil the kettle a few times to get the water to the right temperature. I lost count of the number of times I took the kettle to the tap in the kitchen, when I should have took it to the bath where the water was.

The washing machine (of course) arrived at the most inopportune moment. I was in hairdresser mode with my hands full of waxy oily volumiser gunk. Grrrrrrrrr ! I left kp half done to receive the washing machine.

Shortly after this Jane arrived and we went to pick Ronnie up from Durham Station. I dropped the girls off in Durham so they could “lunch”. They had a good time and we are in for a good weekend

We had a good night with Jane and Ronnie. When the conversation turned to bladder control and which of the 3 “ladies” could stop their wee mid-flow, I had to leave the room and find other amusement.

I dared to return about an hour later, only to be hit by “vaginal pain due to trapped nerves”. I went to bed and was joined swiftly by kp who was knackered (1am). Jane and Ronnie started watching Miss Marple on DVD.

Bad night’s sleep for kp last night. kp was up at least 5 times in the night

Early(ish) start. I got back from walking the dogs at 9am to find kp had got herself up and was going to start the showering procedure.

The solicitor arrived just after 10am and was with us for about 2 hours.

Karen was falling asleep during his visit, but I don’t think he noticed. As soon as he left, we went back to bed until 4pm.

Tonight it’s Pizza, “Skating on Ice” and “Celebrity Big Brother” – what shallow people we are !

kp got up at 4pm, and had a cup of tea with the girls, but then was feeling grotty, so went back to bed until 7.30pm.

We then had a chinese and kp felt bad again and so turned in for bed early (9pm). She feels very VERY guilty that every time Ronnie and Jane come, she seems to spend more time in bed than with them.

Hopefully, she feels better tomorrow.

Uneventful Day

I was up at 8am walking the dogs. Noone else was up until the afternoon. That makes Karen’s sleep 16 hours !!!!!! AND THE GOOD NEWS IS……..she only got up for the loo ONCE. I don’t think it’s possible to sleep 16 hours straight, so she must have been a little under the weather.

She was feeling a lot better today

Jane made her legendary cooked breakfast at about 1pm (brunch). It was bl++dy gorgeous ! Ronnie assisted as sous chef.

The girls talked all afternoon. I think they are trying to get Ronnie a fella. I am trying to persuade her into Lesbianism as I think she will have more luck.

That’s it for today.

Tonight, we are having different meats cooked at the table on hot slabs of marble. Should be fun.

We had a lovely evening.

We did the hot stove on the table meal and it was gorgeous. Chicken, Pork and Beef marinaded in different sauces, cooked at the table with salad and new potatoes. It was lovely….

Here is a photo of the meat cooking with Ronnie hiding from the camera…..

After watching “American Idol”, we all retired.

Uneventful Day.

kp slept in until 1.30pm, clocking up another 12 hour+ sleep. We said goodbye to Jane mid-afternoon and then Ronnie about 6pm. It was lovely having them and it gave me some time on my computer playing counterstrike with old workpals.

Jane and Ronnie were taking the mickey out of Karen for how much time she had been awake for their visit. Next time they visit, they are going to go straight to our bedroom and sit on the end of the bed for the weekend. They think they will get more time with her that way.

Not much to tell apart from that.

At 11am, the Neuropsychologist arrived to see Karen. Karen had put her visit in the diary for the right time, but for a different week, so she was still fast asleep, completely oblivious to her arrival.

The NP and I had a chat first about kp, before I went to wake the dead.

kp:- I need a shower before I see her and I need to do my hair.
dp:- You haven’t got time to have a shower first, it’s not fair on X

So, Karen entered the room looking like “Tintin” with bouffante to match.

It was a good visit, and Karen and I both got a lot from it. One of the things that came up was how Karen felt she wasn’t the person she used to be. She feels she is slower and not as much fun. Well, she is slower, but she is just as much fun as always. The NP suggested the stroke might have also changed Karen for the better. She wanted Karen to ask key people in her life what is better about her since the stroke.

I was first.

kp (looking at me) :- What is better about me since the stroke ?
dp : Erm……………………………………………….

I felt like a deer stunned by a car’s headlights. I emerged from the stupor before it got embarassing and then I couldn’t be shut up.

The love and I karen share has got so much more intense than pre-accident, and we would have said then, that it couldn’t GET any more intense.

When Marie arrived, no sooner had she got through the door than she got the question. Marie couldn’t have been more spontaneous and told Karen how much more affectionate she is now. Karen never liked to be cuddled by family pre-accident, but now she does.

So, it was a good visit.

With the NP gone, we had a nice chat with Marie about her trip to Prague before going to the doctors for drugs and a sicknote.

Karen then wanted to go shopping to get some food in. Another one of her challenges she has set herself. I carried the basket (no change there !!!) and she shopped. I kept offering to get things that were tricky to reach, but she insisted she got them. She did really well.

When we got home, she packed the stuff away while I knitted with Marie in the front room. It all went well, until we heard an ALMIGHTY CRASH from the kitchen. Marie was up out of her seat before the noise finished, while all I could do was shout “ARE YOU OK ?”. (I was mid-line in my knitting and counting stitches too, so there was no way I was moving).

kp had dropped the 2 Litre milk carton. It didn’t burst so we’re ok. OH…and Karen is ok also

That’s it for today.

kp had a great night’s sleep last night, only getting up once in the night.

Once again, we cocked up an appointment time. kp thought the Occupational Therapist (OT) was coming today at 1pm, when in fact, she was coming at 10.45am. I had asked kp the previous night the details of the appointment and was looking forward to a lie-in. As it happens, I was up walking the dogs early and just happened to check the diary to see that it was earlier than kp expected. Thankfully, we had enough time to get kp ready for their visit.

Today she was preparing a casserole. We had all the ingredients in and kp was not to be assisted AT ALL, so I made myself scarce. The good news is she prepared Lamb Shanks in a casserole dish, with onions, carrots and a nice sauce. The bad news is she absolutely hated it and found it VERY frustrating. It took her 1 hour 30 minutes to peel 4 carrots and 1 onion, and to seal the lamb and put it in the casserole dish. She nearly cut her fingers more times than I can count, and all I could hear from the room I was in, was the OT shouting “FINGERS !” every minute, to try and get kp to realise her left hand fingers were “under the knife”.

Here she is smiling for the camera (still with 8 fingers, 2 thumbs)……….

She was seething when the OT left, but managed to put on a brave face.

It was Abbie’s birthday today (9) so we went over to Middlesbrough for her birthday bash. Abbie was off school having just recovered from flu, Louisa (2) was starting to show symptoms and Abbie’s mam (Adele) was right in the worst part of it

But we still had a good time.

We then went to see some pups that Jane’s daughter’s bitch had had. They are nearly 4 weeks old and gorgeous with it. A cross between about 10 different breeds, the mother was a bit of a slapper I think (the dog, not Jane’s daughter or JANE !).

Jane pointed to one of the pups and said :-

Jane :- That’s your pup.

She was serious and has been kidding us for a while that one of them was ours. We told her “NO !”.

I had my eye on a chocolate brown one, and kp wanted the black one but we didn’t leave with a pup – a first for Karen and I !!

Bloody awful photo, but in this shot, there are 3 pups………

That’s it for today.

Forgot to mention that Karen also got frustrated yesterday about her inability to take in information. She can only seem to digest one bit of information at a time. She has a new mobile phone which she is really struggling to get to grips with. She also received some other bits of information in various guises and she just couldn’t grasp it all.

So, over the course of the day, I had to refeed her with key points. By the end of the day, she seemed to have got the gist of the main things, and no doubt today, I will get more questions which I have to recap the answers to.

I think her new mobile phone will take her weeks, if not months, to grasp.

Uneventful Day !

kp was very tired today and kept saying she wanted longer in bed each time I tried to wake her up.

She ended up getting up at 12.30pm.

It was bathtime today as her legs needed shaving. She gets lowered in on this electric seat. It goes about 1cm every second (IT’S VERY SLOW !). I told Karen today, that I had managed to fix it so it got her in the bath in 5 seconds, instead of 1 minute. She looked vaguely excited and scared, until I pushed the button and it went the same speed as always. It got a giggle.

So, by 1.15pm, it was time for breakfast. By 3pm, I was getting her back in her nighty as she wanted a snooze.

I went with her and we got up about 6pm.

We are having the Lamb Shank casserole for tea and it tastes lovely.

That’s our Thursday !!!