Not the best day today.

But to start on a positive note she had a brilliant night’s sleep. She was dreading another restless night and took a full tamazepam and it paid off. She was over the moon, only getting up once for a commode experience.

Incidentally from Tuesday to Friday this week, kp has to measure everything she drinks and everything she wees as part of the investigation into her bladder problems at night. On Tuesday night, she got up 6 times during the night and 15 times in total over a 24 hour period. We can’t afford to maintain such a toilet roll expenditure, so something has to be done about it, and it pisses Karen off of course. This is one of the other things that was getting her down the other day. Another thing I forgot to mention.

But, last night, she only got up once for a pee that she could recall, which is great.

Today, we started off with hydro. It went very well. And then Karen had wanted to go to a bathroom showroom in Stockton. I had no idea why, but was happy to be taximan. On the way there, I started thinking if we really needed an en-suite and mentioned it to her with all the pros and cons. She found this tricky to take in, despite a few attempts at explanation.

Once we had parked up, I got the floorplans and 3d mockups out to explain how it would be different if it wasn’t en-suite. She just couldn’t understand what I was saying. She couldn’t understand the concept of me moving a sink to one place and rotating a shower in another direction. She wasn’t crying at this stage, but was close to it, with the frustration.

kp:- Why can’t I get it ? It seems easy when you explain it ?!

dp:- I think it’s the stroke love. I think it has left you finding this kind of thing hard.

I think they called it spatial awareness.

So, we went in, I was none the wiser about why we were going in, I had assumed Karen had wanted to check prices and see other designs.

She started looking at things. This was nice, this wasn’t nice etc etc….

When we got to the showers, she couldn’t grasp which bathroom was having the walk-in shower and which wasn’t. Such a simple concept, but she simply couldn’t grasp it, no matter how many times I went through it. It was as if her mind was full up and was in information overload.

At this point, she got very upset. She couldn’t hold back the tears………

kp:- I don’t know what we came for ? I don’t get what we are doing.

It was so heartbreaking to listen to. I led her back to the car and we both had a bit of a cry in the car. We comforted each other and went back home. A completely pointless trip.

We both felt exhausted mentally and neither of us could be arsed talking bathrooms.

I tried to convince Karen that the bathrooms we have are fine, but she can’t be swayed and wants new ones.

Anyway, bathrooms aside, we have had tea and are both feeling a bit better just being back at home and together. VD and Jane are coming for the weekend so that should take our minds off BLOODY BATHROOMS !

I’ll end with a photo. kp was out in the sun all day yesterday with Angela and Sisters. She caught the sun on her left shoulder and it looks really painful.

But, here is one good aspect of her stroke ! She has reduced sensation on her left side and she can’t feel a thing !

A better day today.

100 Fentanyl patch on and kp was feeling better pain-wise than she had done for the last day or so.

She is still measuring liquids in and liquids out. I am getting a bit of a dab-hand at predicting liquids out before they are measured based on the length of the “liquids out” noise !

dp:- I think you’ll find that’s only 40ml love.

kp:- You’re spot on. How do you know that ?

So, any visitors to Chez Pollard shouldn’t be alarmed if they find me hovering outside the bathroom door as they tinkle and they are greeted on their departure with….

dp:- 200ml, nice one !

Today there was nothing on, for the first time in ages – which was great. kp had been thinking about the bathroom over night (she was up in the night) and had decided to postpone it.

I was over the moon, although it took a while today for my mood to lift.

I mowed the lawn and did jobs round the house and we spent most of the rest of the afternoon sunbathing and it was really lovely to spend some quality time together.

Jane arrived at 6pm ish and vdfromboro is due at 8.30pm for Lasagne, Salad and Jersey Royals

Should be a good weekend.

Well, I had a good day today and I think Karen did too.

Why so vague ? Well, I went to see my bezza Nige in Sunderland. It was glorious weather and a great bike ride. Motorbike that is, I am not fit enough to cycle to the nearest town, never mind Sunderland.

I left kp in bed – she had left me with instructions to get her up and changed at 9.30am, but she had a late night with the “girls” and left further instructions NOT to wake the beast her.

I was away from 9am until 3pm, and she only got up at 2.30pm ! And she still missed me

The girls spent most of the afternoon sunbathing and snoozing.

Here is an early evening photo.

We were all up quite early today as Jane and vd were leaving Chez Pollard. Jane was first to go and what a hectic time that was.  First of all, she started to complain that one of our Sycamore trees had left sticky spots all over her MG and could I have it removed before her next visit. She was heading off to an MG meet at Beamish and wanted it in tip top form.

She then started to set up her GPS system but had forgot a part. She wanted the hood down for the drive to Beamish, despite my warning that the forecasters had said light rain and spent an age getting the roof down and then tying it up beautifully so it really looked the part.

She had then forgot her sunglasses etc etc…..

It was an entertaining 10 minutes !

We waved her off and it started to pour down ! It would be very wrong to laugh, but I think a little snigger escaped through the side of my mouth.

We were knackered after that and kp and I have to go back to bed. Ronnie left a note saying she didn’t want to disturb us. Thanks VD !

We got up about 2pm, and had a cup of tea outside in the balmy heat, very relieved the sun was in. I tried to tell kp how low I was feeling at the moment, but it didn’t come out very well. I said things like”I felt trapped” and that “I hardly get any time to myself”, but this was met with “How do you think how I feel ?”. I think I am perhaps tired. It’s been a hellish week, and perhaps a few good sleeps will sort me out.
So, strange day today.

A marginally better day today.

Considering we both slept so much yesterday, we both had really good night’s sleeps.

Today involved a trip to Hunter’s Moor to get kp’s bladder assessed. She had been filling in a “liquids in/liquids out” sheet for the past 4 days and the results were revealed. Apparently, a “normal” person should go no more than 7 times a day, and once in the middle of the night.

kp clocked up 11 times in the day, and 5 times in the night (on the worst day). She had an ultrasound of the bladder to confirm all was ok and basically the upshot of it all is that kp has to retrain her bladder to know when it’s full. Currently, she thinks its full at 150ml, whereas a “normal” person thinks it’s full at about 500ml.

So, she has been given some exercises to help better her 150ml.

Her eyes have been getting on her nerves today. We have an appointment lined up for this at the RVI in Newcastle. This seems to be the number 2 bugbear at the moment, after pain.

kp wasn’t 100% today mentally. She feels she is all alone and noone understands her, no doubt partially to do with my comments from the other day

But, I think the next few days will see improvement. Here’s hoping !

Good Day today. Seems like a while since we have had one of those.

Not much to report – kp’s bosses came for a natter. We took Bonnie to the vets to get her warts looked at, but they are nothing to worry about. Went to 2 garden centres to look for hanging baskets. Would you believe that the first one we visited has stopped selling them now ?!?!?!?!?!

The second one’s were too expensive at £25 a time !

Spent most of the afternoon relaxing in the garden. It was lovely and kp and I cooked a Chicken Bake together.

So, nice day.

kp has her next op on July 6th. This is the one where they cut her stomach open and patch together her stomach muscles. She is having it done privately paid for by the insurance company which seems fair.

Marie is coming tomorrow and it’s a ladies hair doo day, dp as taxi man.

Lovely day today – it helps so much when the weather is gorgeous. It also eases Karen’s walking.

kp and I had a chat last night. The gist of it was she felt very alone. And that I didn’t care about her any more. She knows I love her and I do a lot for her, but she felt the care that I used to give her isn’t as present nowadays.

We discussed it through at great length and we came to an understanding that she is “talking out of her arse”. And probably just feeling low at the moment. Lo and Behold, she woke up this morning in a much better mood.

We went to 2 garden centres today and picked up 6 lovely hanging baskets. kp was well pleased. I dropped her off at the hairdressers where she met up with Marie who had bussed it over to stay the night and get her hair done.

When we got home, I started fitting a hose watering system for the watering baskets by the garage as Marie worked on another area of the garden with Karen advising. It was absolutely lovely outside today – hot sun, nice wind – perfect combination.

Karen offered to spray creosote the fence. I pumped, she sprayed. by that I mean I pumped the spray device up to pressure. My flatulence was in check today.

Cracking Day.

Here is Karen creosoting…..

Here is Karen advising marie on hoe’ing.

And here is the two of them, taking a well-earned break…..

Karen had a REALLY bad night last night – she didn’t get to sleep until 6 am The reason was pain. She overdid it yesterday. Standing for a while is bad enough, but standing and creosoting was too much !

She was in pain before she went to sleep and wanted her 100mg Fentanyl Patch on early. It was due tomorrow anyway. kp stayed in bed until 12pm.

Another good day today. The weather doesn’t half help – I sound like a broken record I know. I think we’ll have to move to sunnier climes !

Leisurely morning for me while kp slept, but Marie busied herself ironing anything and everything. We took her back to the bus station and went to Hydrotherapy.

kp was a bit concerned that hydro would be too much today after yesterday, but thankfully they let her go easy and have a long weightless soak at the end.

We then went to the garden centre AGAIN ! kp wants the raised area in the back yard done out (see picture of kp creosoting yesterday for the bit I mean). She wants it laying with slate chips and big planters so she can weed them herself without having to ask me. Well, I calculated we needed 24 bags of slate chips, 6 new big pots, 5 bags of compost and 5 bags of top soil. PLUS 5 billion plants to put in them.

Well, we loaded up the car with the 24 bags of slate chippings that weight a TONNE each. I say we, Karen obviously couldn’t have lifted one of these pre-accident without a lot of huffing and puffing, so it was down to me. No problem. I could load 3 bags on a trolley, 8 trips. Pile of piss. Well, it was such a hot day, and I was breaking into a sweat just breathing, I asked one of the garden centre chaps to do it. To my surprise, he said “Yes”

I opened the boot and left him to it. At nay on £100 of slate, I didn’t feel too guilty. The downside was when I came back, he had loaded the boot with £100 of slate. Great, you may think. Not when the car boot’s underside is scraping along the road.

I tried to drive carefully out of the garden centre, but it was a non-starter. I was nearly doing wheelies. I moved 6 bags to the front and although it was better, I was still scraping the floor from time to time. I can hear my dad saying “DO TWO TRIPS YOU PILLOCK”. Of course, he’s right. I left Karen at the garden centre while I took this load home.
Anyway, I got them home safely and took a picture of the boot nearly touching the floor for posterity.

It took me ages unloading and moving them to the back, and was worried as hell about kp in the heat and not taking a break from standing for so long.

I think she was about to collapse by the time I got back. Certainly, she had had enough of garden centres and that told me something was definately wrong. She was aching all over and keen to get home.

I loaded the car with another load of goods and we went home. kp tried to sunbathe for a bit, but had to hit the sack. The discomfort was too much.

Here is the fruit of our work.

There is more than this – all the plants and extra compost and top soil is off camera !

Marie is coming back over the weekend to help kp do some potting. I might also ask her to move these 1 tonne sacks of slate and retarmac our drive before she goes.

Cracking day today with a sour twist.

I worked on the blog book version for a few hours this morning as kp slept in. I am trying to get hold of colour photos taken from the helicopter that was at the accident scene. I rang the police and was met with some unexpected news. The man guilty of the accident has launched an appeal against his sentence. He feels it was unfair.

I was f***ing fuming. The boxer Naseem got a prison sentence for his dangerous driving and the chap he injured wasn’t anywhere nearly as badly injured as Karen or Angela.

Kp and I will definately be going to the trial to kick some ass. kp was as mad as me.

We had breakfast and then went to buy more of the garden centre.

Here’s our stash of plants…..

On our return, kp got very frustrated because she had to ask me to move all the heavy stuff where she wanted. It really pisses her off that she can’t lift heavy things and that she has to ask me for so much !

No tears though, just frustration.

But, a good day overall.

Heart breaking.

Karen was in a LOT of pain towards the end of the day. She has really been trying to work hard at her gardening and it is making her body “a wreck”.

She wanted a bath as it sometimes eases her pains. After 15 minutes in the bath, it was time to get her out and she couldn’t sit up, it hurt too much – she spontaneously started crying. Real sobbing. It was so so sad to see her stuck in the bath, crying her heart out.

I comforted her as best as I could for about 5 minutes.

kp:- I have to get out.

So, with a big pull and a shriek of pain from Karen, we managed to get her sitting. At which point, she did a shuffle to sit back on the bath seat and she pushed the button to raise the bath seat.

The crying continued for a while, but she was tired and wanted to “get out of it”.

This morning (Saturday), we have had more tears.

kp:- I am sick of my body. It’s a wreck. It doesn’t do what I want it to do anymore.

I tried to tell her how much she had achieved this week etc etc, but it wasn’t enough for her and she wanted to do so much more.

She has gone back to bed (9am). Hopefully, when I get her up for the World Cup match, she will be feeling a bit brighter.

kp and I were due to go over to Adele’s to watch the England v Paraguay match, but unfortunately, kp’s pain levels were such that the trip would have been too much. Adele’s loo is upstairs and kp could do without that kind of additional stress on her body at the moment, so I picked Adele and the kids up and they came to us.

kp was in bed when we got back, but we all soon got into the football spirit.

Abbie and her big hat………

Louisa was more interested in pushing an empty pram………

kp donned a hat on for a photo, but that’s about how long it stayed on her head…..

You can’t fully concentrate on the football match when kids are around, but we still enjoyed it. kp gave me one helluva stare when I got really wrapped up in the game and the ref made a lousy decision and I shouted………

dp:- You’re f**king kidding

I had to be a bit more careful after that.

With the match over, and a shaky win under England’s belt, we went out in the garden and I put the sprinkler system on for the kids who enjoyed jumping through the water.

Pizza for tea and a good day was had by all.

Apart from Karen whose pain has persisted all day, but thankfully not on yesterday’s scale.

A very productive day today but no doubt kp will pay the price for her hard work tomorrow.

The day started off with an early rise for kp when she heard the kids up and about. Abbie and I walked the dogs, taking 10 minutes for Abbie to get over a fence !! She is such a town girl. She is only 9, but has the fashion sense of a 14 year old and I don’t think she fancied her looks wearing her England kit with a pair of wellies.

We enjoyed a cooked breakfast on our return before I took Abbie, Adele and Louisa back to Middlesbrough. I picked Marie up before returning as she is staying with us for 2 nights. Typical Marie, she brought all the shopping with her to ensure we had good food stocks.

No sooner had we arrived back than we started a LONG gardening session. kp wanted all the back yard redoing so that it is all done before her next op (July 6th). It seemed Marie was here to earn the tea she had brought with her !

Here are the girls hard at it…………….

Physically, kp did really well. But I fear a price to be paid tomorrow. Mentally, we hit a brick wall about half way through when she was trying to visualize how many pots we would need for each plant. She couldn’t get it all in her head. Marie and I gave her plenty of time, and in the end we found another way through the problem.

The weather was VERY hot today in the North East and all 3 of us were burnt by the sun. One of my jobs was to root out some old conifer from one of our existing pots. On unearthing them, I saw 2 little creatures running round the pot. I think they were baby moles or voles. kp was scared they were mice, but I don’t think they live underground. If someone can confirm, that would be great – they were absolutely gorgeous. There were more than 2 when we dug a little deeper. But we didn’t want to disturb them too much.

We put the conifer back on top of them and I went to buy some more pots from the garden centre.

Here is the finished result…………

Fag break and then it was time to hit the front of the house and plant the remaining garden centre. The girls are doing the front as I write this. This blog is a real blessing at times. I would much rather be gardening in the front – NOT !

Here are the girls moments ago in the front.