Up and down week, but generally a week in the right direction.

Monday and it was Nat’s first day back after her hols. Unfortunately, as Nat arrived, I was consoling a kp in tears. So, I ran out to the car and asked Nat to give us 10 minutes or so. The reason for the tears was that we had learned that one of the first people at the scene of the accident had been looking to find out how Karen was. This itself wasn’t the problem, of course, more that Karen was interested in what this person had done at the time of the accident, and I had pointed Karen to the relevant bits of the blog which answered her question. In the blog, I had called the lady who was first at the scene Wendy Dougal. She was absolutely superb and was the one who helped kp until the emergency services arrived. It was this lady’s statement and looking back at the blog that gave Karen full realisation that it had happened to her and not someone else.

This had caused Karen to relive some of the accident as well. And whenever Karen looks backwards, she gets upset, or that is our experience anyway. So, we had a heart to heart, and managed to get the tears dried up, by restating what we know, ie that when kp looks back, we have upset, when she looks forward, she is at her best. Karen took this one stage further and asked me to get Nat in from the car to help get her refocussed, by talking about Nat’s holiday. It seemed to do the trick and a refocussed kp resulted (temporarily)

Nat and kp went off to the gym shortly after to do more “Fat Burn” levels of exercise. They were back in time for Rachel (OT). They did some more road crossing safety. That seems to be going very well. Our road is turning out to be a bit too quiet for kp now. At rush hour, it’s the opposite of course, but at the time Rachel came (2pm) it’s quiet At the moment, Karen isn’t crossing the road herself per se, she is saying when she thinks it’s “safe to cross”. She has another 5 more road successful road crossings saying when it’s safe to cross, and then she moves on to the next stage.

Syd (Case Manager) phoned early on Tuesday to tell us that Natalie had handed her notice in She will be leaving in October to move to London. But, Syd has got a replacement lined up, someone kp had already interviewed for the last job and who was the first choice, but couldn’t take the job at that time, so that’s worked out well

In the afternoon, Karen went off for her swimming lesson at Whickham Villa with Nat. Gail met them there. Unfortunately, the pool had just been “dosed” and the water was not the usual “crystal clear” and the lesson had to be postponed, so the girls came back.

My best man, Paul Hannon, came around in the afternoon. We don’t think we’d seen him since the wedding !! So, we met him and his kids. We really enjoyed the catchup and had lots of laughs.

Nikki Brosnan was due at 5pm, but had to postpone because of the roadworks on the A1, which are causing lots of issues for the North East generally !! The A1 is like the artery of the North !

Wednesday was a gorgeous day and kp and Nat went to the gym and then gardened a good deal of the rest of the day, interspersing it with lots of breaks. I’ve been able to catch up with loads of heli revision this week – yay ! But, I had done so much on wednesday, that I couldn’t take it in, so used a bit of gardening as a nice break from the studies, and it helped. I did all the heavy work for the girls, turning over the soil etc…..

Thursday was another beautiful day – more gardening for kp/Nat. I had a flying lesson in the afternoon and got some video to show kp what I was upto. Here it is, click here. I was back in time for Nikki’s rescheduled visit. Karen had been keen to chat with Nikki. She had been holding back tears generally because she wanted to know if she should deal with the accident itself. Karen and I have been watching House and Grey’s Anatomy, and invariably when there is a patient on these medical programs that is very serious, they have things wrong with them like “MOF/multiple organ failure, ARDS/acute resipatory distress syndrome etc….” and of course, I always have to shout to kp that “YOU HAD THAT !!”. Invariably, the patients on the programs die, and I have to say “You see how lucky you were”. Typing this, I feel stupid now, because I realise, that I’m not necessarily helping the matter by saying these things. ANYWAY, back to the story……so things like this and other stuff already mentioned have left kp thinking of the accident a lot, causing her tears and upset etc etc…….Karen knows I get upset if she gets upset, and so she has been doing the best she can to hide the upset from me.

So, kp was keen to know if she should deal with these issues, or keep distracting herself, looking forward, effectively ignoring these thoughts and tears. So, we sat down with Nikki and had about 30 minutes with Nat present before she left, then another 20 minutes with me, before SHOCK HORROR, kp asked me to leave the room ! Well, this is a first. I have never NOT been involved with kp’s care. That’s bad, double negative !!! I have ALWAYS been involved with kp’s care and for me to be asked to leave the room was a bit of a shocker to say the least, but kp reassured me, and I knew that it was nothing negative. I knew that she was doing it for my benefit ie to save me distress.

I was grateful in a way that I wasn’t part of the upset that followed. Karen and I are so close that we DO feel each other’s emotions. When she’s happy, I’m happy, when she’s upset, I’m upset. That’s good for the happy times…………..and bad for the down times ! I have felt so much pain over the last 4 years, that I don’t want any more. I’m quite a black/white kind of person and I can switch off from things quite easily most of the time, but that’s when I have control. I don’t have control over kp’s upset, so I always hate the times when she’s sad, as I am so helpless to fix it. So, I was pleased on an inner level to be given a break from the distress. Karen has not told me what happened at the meeting with Nikki as Nikki suggested to keep it to herself, and wait for the next meeting when Nikki will explain it to me. I’m happy with that. The good news is that although kp did get upset when I wasn’t there (she told me that much), she came out of the session very positive. Well done Nikki and kp of course

Friday was another trip to the gym and the rescheduled Whickham Villa Swimming Lesson. Gym went fine but the swimming lesson involved more upset. Karen bumped into a young lad at Whickham Villa who’d had a brain injury. He was worse off than Karen in some areas, and kp realised again how lucky she was, but also how unlucky she was in other areas, another moment of realisation ! The swimming lesson was a bit awkward for kp as Gail’s swimming costume had gone AWOL, and she had accosted 2 physio lads to get in the pool with kp, so the lesson could continue. Well, kp felt very uncomfortable with having 2 lads help her in the water. But the swimming lesson went VERY well and kp did the best she’s ever done.

The weekend has been gardening and dog walking and weather-wise, it’s made for a good weekend.

I’ll end on a funny. Karen and I have been having a laugh over House (the american medical drama starring Hugh Laurie). We always try and predict what’s wrong (and of course we’re always incorrect), but we always predict what we think the problem is and what the treatment will be and we’re nearly always right. Only House viewers will find this amusing, but one of the possible problems is always Lupus and/or a tumour, and the remedies always involve LP (aka Lumbar Puncture), and/or MRI scans.

That’s it for this week’s blog……..

Here’s a photo my diving buddy sent me. Good piccy of me and a pipe snake fish……