Cracking Day today.

Although she didn’t get up early, when she did get up, she made the most of the day. She wasn’t in any discomfort after yesterday’s 1/2 mile with Ronnie, so today, the girls (kp, Jane and Ronnie) went to Bowes (a nice place near Barnard Castle). They spent most of the time drinking tea in a cafe and enjoying each other’s company. I didn’t go as a I was working from home.

kp brought me back some fudge – which was nice. I think she got more pleasure in buying me something than I did in eating it and it was very good fudge.

We ate outside and enjoyed the glorious weather.

On the previous night, we had all sat outside, and talk turned to the odd star that we could see in the sky (it was a bit misty). Ronnie had never seen a satellite travelling across the night sky and she didn’t believe in shooting stars. She said she did, but her smirk at me describing them gave it all away.

Anyway, tonight’s sky was much clearer with the mist being much thinner so I said to Ronnie I’d find her a satellite.

It took 30 minutes of patient waiting before a satellite appeared going across the sky. I pointed it out to everyone. Jane and Karen soon lost interest, but Ronnie and I kept watching it.

Then, a shooting star streaked across the sky. Ronnie was impressed and I was chuffed to bits at her having seen her first one.

That’s today. Lovely day.

I went to work in the morning, but Karen got up for a cup of tea with me before I had to leave. She returned to bed before I left.
Once back from work, Ronnie, kp & I went to Wolsingham to walk the dogs and to see if Bonnie could swim. kp is keen to increase her stamina and beat the 1/2 mile distance record. We wouldn’t have been far off today, not bad, considering she is only on a 75 and 25 patch (we had run out of 100′s).

The dogs enjoyed the water, messing around on a plateau of 2 inch deep water, but they both made the mistake of thinking everywhere they were was just an inch deep and both of them ran off into a 3 metre deep pool – Yes, they could swim. But they couldn’t get out, cue dp to pull them out by their necks.

Here are Ronnie and kp on the walk…..

Well, the walk yesterday was too much for Karen and she suffered overnight for her efforts. She had a dream where she was crying in pain, only to wake up and be crying in real life – I didn’t hear a thing

She got up about 9am to have a cup of tea with me when I returned from taking the dogs for a walk but she was irritable.

When she got up for good (about 11.30am), she was like a bear with a sore head. I’d say “Black”, she’d say “White”. I don’t think she was feeling tip-top – lack of sleep and pain aren’t a good combo.
Ronnie and kp, earlier in the week, had done some work on “getting a bra on” on your own with only 1 hand working properly. Ronnie struggled to do it herself initially and had to get topless to work out how it could be done. I wasn’t allowed in the bathroom for this “experience”, which is a shame as Ronnie has a lovely pair of ……… eyelashes.

However, knowing that they were going to do this, I placed a pinhole camera in the bathroom and recorded the event. CLICK HERE to see more.

So, kp gave me a demo of this new routine. It involves using the what functionality she has in her left arm/hand to hold the bra and then whizz it behind her back to catch it with her right hand. So, she showed me this. But, she had forgot the routine, and held it in her right hand, flinging it back to her left hand, which continually couldn’t catch it – heart breaking. I wasn’t too help on pain of death. But, I couldn’t keep quiet and mentioned that she should try flinging it with her left hand. LOOK OF MURDER on her face, she tried it this way. It took about 4 angry flings before she caught it.

With it caught, she uses her left hand to hold it tight, while she pulls it round the front with her right hand and then ties the bra in front of her. Unfortunately, she couldn’t work out which way round the bra was. It was inside out and one cup was upside down. kp has a problem with shapes/patterns and can’t work out orientations (spacial awareness they call it). I had to step in again. To cut a long story relatively short, she got it done, but was angry that it took my help – I think she had wanted to show me how good she was at it.

We had a lovely morning with Ronnie, before she departed back to Sunny Surbiton. kp slept most of the afternoon and I think she is a bit more with it this afternoon

kp was a bit subdued this morning. But it got a little better as the morning wore on. Mum and Dad came for lunch, they took us to the Pump House – the food was delicious and it was great to catch up with all the Lancashire gossip ! The weather was spot on today which helped us enjoy a great day.

When we got home from the meal, Karen went straight to bed – knackered. She was a little quieter than usual throughout the whole meal. I don’t think she has had any time without visitors for a couple of weeks and perhaps she has overdone it – although I could be well out there !

I start work on Tuesday the 1st August and won’t have time to do blogs so regularly, so tomorrow night (Monday) will be the last of the daily blogs

I still intend to keep a weekly diary up on how kp is progressing. I even tried to persuade kp to write a daily blog here, but on my first attempt I wasn’t successful. I will try again, perhaps some encouragement from blog land would be useful to persuade her also – she will kill me when she reads this.

I think it would be wonderful to read things from her perspective. I’ll have to flutter my eyelids a bit.

The Last Daily Blog

A cracking day today. Karen seems REALLY to be looking forward to tackling the upcoming days on her own, with me starting work tomorrow. Today, she tried to get dressed fully herself. No socks to do (too hot), so no problems there. But she came a cropper with the bra. Someone should invent a meccano set that can be surgically fitted to a woman to prop up the bosom area. There is a fortune to be made there. Would save so much time for all women and would save a small fortune in bras.

Anyway, she got it linked up around the middle and pulled it round and got one coconut in the hammock, but struggled with the other. Cue dp.

This shouldn’t be a problem generally as when I am not there she’ll just not put a bra on. If she is going out, she’ll probably persevere more and then ring me up for some advice.

I worked from home in the morning and kp slept until about 12pm. This afternoon, we went round the shops to post some letters, taking the dogs with us and then carried on a bit further to take them for a walk.

kp’s challenge for next week (according to her) is to go round to the shop on her own. Thankfully no roads to cross.

With that over, she phoned Angela (other lady from car crash) and had a long conversation with her.

More phone conversations took up her whole afternoon but she really enjoyed them.

I got a photo of Karen with BOTH thumbs up, indicating she is ready for me to go back to work……..

So, the last daily blog……..From now on, unless I can persuade Marie or Karen to write it, it will be weekly, probably sometime over the weekend.

Actually, I say that, I’ll probably not be able to resist doing it during my lunchbreak or something. We’ll see – assume weekly.

Big thanks to everyone who reads the blog and especially those who brave to comment. The comments really have spiced kp’s life up and helped her recovery.

Well, I couldn’t resist a blog entry..

I was up at 6.30am to get the dogs walked before I went into work. kp GOT UP WITH ME ! Unheard of – I don’t think she has seen pre-9am for ages. That was lovely of her. When I returned from walking the dogs, we enjoyed a cup of tea outside before I left for work. Marie came for 1pm and made Roast Chicken for tea – it was gorgeous. Abbie and Adele had also arrived as they are staying a few days.

On my return (6.45pm), kp filled me in on the day’s events.

She went straight back to sleep and got up about 10.30am. She showered and started getting dressed for herself – the first (or second) time since the accident. Needless to say, it wasn’t without hitch. Regular Blog readers will probably know where the hitch came…….According to kp……

kp:- I was doing fine, until it came to my bra. I had got it fastened, but had it back to front, upside down and was trying to work it out, when the dogs went mad. The man (who has been cutting our hedges) had come for his money. Well, I couldn’t get it on, I couldn’t get it off. Eventually, I got it off and put a top on. When I got to the door, my shirt was probably skew-iff, and my trousers were probably around my “ass”…..

And she did an impression for Adele and I of what she must have looked like, and was laughing her head off at herself. It was so funny to see kp laugh so much about the situation She has SUCH a lovely smile and laugh – they are very infectious.

I was exhausted after doing some work (for a change) and was in bed asleep by 8.30pm. But, here I am at 1am, wide-awake. Need to get some order into my life I think. But, I really enjoyed my day at work and was made to feel very welcome which was nice. So, a first day for both of us that was a good experience. Let’s hope there are many more to come.

Thanks for all the blog comments of support. kp has read them all. She has started reading the blog. We read through up to the middle of June last year together, and she has been trying to catch up so she is upto this day last year, with the idea being she will then read one entry each day (i.e. this day last year). This should give her a good indication of how she has improved over a year. We came across this funny from Day 38 – Sunday 5th June 2005…..Let me set the scene…… Karen is a week out of Intensive Care, still bed-ridden, not mentally upto speed and on Ward 3 at the Q.E.

My dad made the 100-mile trip up from Lancashire today. kp was quiet for the most part, but we did have 1 gem. I had given dad an orange to peel for kp, while I degowned and went to get some cold water. Dad, like me, doesn’t go in for foods that need a lot of faff to get to the food itself and doesn’t eat oranges for this reason.

Dad:- Hey kp, if you carry on for the next 5 weeks as you have done for these first 5 weeks, you’ll be doing very well.
kp:- Do you think by then you will have peeled my orange ?

First week back at work for me.

My big fear, going back to work, would be “how would Karen cope on her own ?”. I wasn’t too worried about the physical aspects of coping, like making a cup of tea, getting her bra on etc….more about the loneliness she would face after having my company 24/7 since the accident. This would give her time to reflect on her situation and if she couldn’t handle it, it would be hard for me to leave work.

But, as the week would have it, she didn’t get a moment to reflect as Abbie and Adele were stayed the week.

My first week back at work was great. I am back at the firm I used to work at back in January of last year. I was made to feel very welcome by all “the lads” and really enjoyed it, despite not knowing whether I was coming or going at times. This will sound bad, but it was nice to have a different focus. For the last 15 months, my life has been totally focussed on Karen – nothing else mattered, but now something else does matter. Granted, not as much as Karen, but it still gives me something else to put my teeth into and it is a good feeling.

Neither Karen or I have had a chance to miss each other, me because of work, kp because of her company. But it was still great to see each other on a night time and grab the odd 5 minutes to ourselves.

Karen has been coping “ok” with the day to day routine. Out of the 4 days I was away, she got her bra on once correctly, one day she had to ask Adele and the other 2 she didn’t bother ‘cos it was so hard the first day. Mum has played Bridge with a lady who also can’t use her left arm and she asked her how she managed a bra. Apparently, you can take your brassieres into the local hospital, and they will get rid of the hook mechanism and replace them with velcro. What a good idea !!! We are going to look into this.

Most of the week has been a rainy week, so kp, Adele and Abbie have been amusing themselves in the house most of the time. On Friday, the weather was better and Karen decided to take them to Brewsters so Abbie could go in the “Play Area”. Karen can’t drive for various reasons and so I had told her not to let that be an issue and if she wanted to go somewhere, just to get a taxi. She can’t take the bus, because standing up for long periods knacks her.

We both thought this would be a breeze, but it turned out to be a pain in the arse. She tried a few local taxi firms and couldn’t get a taxi until tomorrow !!!! Eventually she found one who said they would be there in 15 minutes, but they didn’t turn up for an hour. So, it left a sour taste in kp’s mouth.

In future, we will plan these out more.

Yesterday (Saturday), Abbie and Adele went to Beamish, which gave kp and I some “alone” time which we were VERY grateful for. We have enjoyed having them, but at the same time, we enjoy our time together. Whilst they were away, Michelle, Freddy and Marge arrived for a chinwag.

Here are Michelle, Abby and Freddy. I was wary of posting this photo as Freddy scares the sh1t out of me with his “look to camera”….Abby is camera-shy also….

It was a good afternoon overall….

Last night was our first night alone for a few weeks (or at least it feels like that)….

Today, we have really enjoyed each other’s company. kp was up at a half-decent time (9am) and we walked the dogs together. Regular Blog readers will know that one of Karen’ aims (post accident) and one of the indicators that she is getting back to “normal” as she calls it, is that she should be able to walk the dogs (on one of our normal walks). Our normal walks are about an hour long and cross styles, go up and down hills, cross rivers etc…..

Although today we didn’t make a full walk today, we conquered some hurdles which I found really impressive. Firstly, kp managed to scale a style pretty much on her own.

She also managed to walk about 30 yards up the hill we would normally go up…..

And chuck the toy for the dogs, albeit about as far as she could throw it before the accident, which was never too impressive, but impressive given her current situation….

We even met up with Brad Pitt on the walk. He was quite at ease with Elsa and Bonnie………

Once back from the walk, we enjoyed bacon sarnies and then kp went straight to bed – absolutely cream crackered.

Well done love – I told her how impressed I was !!! Style, Uphill walking and Throwing toy – a real bonus. She is doing so well. This next week, she will be on her own MUCH more – fingers crossed !

Just a quick question. The blog is being read regular from someone from Azerbaijan. My cousin Catherine spotted this, so now I am intrigued as to who this is ? If you are the mystery Azerbaijan blog reader, please leave us a comment as to who you are ?

Thanks

David P.

A Good Week Overall for kp this week.

First, thanks to Frank (from Azerbaijan) for coming forward to the “regular reader from Azerbaijan” query !! Karen and family were chuffed to bits that they knew who it was.

Much to my relief, Karen has really enjoyed her first week “on her own”. Marie came up and stayed one night (cooking tea for us, thanks Marie). But, apart from that, Karen has settled into a nice routine, consisting of

• Getting up about 10.30am
• Cup of Tea
• Do jobs around the house (general tidy)
• Exercises
• Sort Washing
• Dust
• Read Blog
• Water Plants
• Get Poo Up

This is taken verbatim from her own list that she drew up with me last Sunday.

She hasn’t been to the shop yet (on her own) and I know she is quite scared about this. But, as vdfromboro suggested, she should take it in stages – walk to the end of the drive first, then a bit further, then a bit further, before going the whole hog. Part of the problem is that there is a stretch of pavement between us and the shop that is just wide enough for one person to walk. But, I know she’ll crack it and will feel brilliant for doing it. Watch this space.

As well as the above list, she has been trying to sort taxis out to get her to her various appointments. We only have 1 taxi firm in Esh Winning. And when you ring them for a taxi, the conversation goes something like this….

kp:- Can I have a taxi for 2pm to take me to the hospital ?

Taxi Firm :- Sorry love, can you give us a day’s notice if you want a taxi ?

Another time Karen rang, she was greeted by a 10 year old lad, saying “Me dad’s not in it at the moment”

Grrrrrrrr ! So she has lost a lot of faith and confidence in Esh Winning taxis. Getting one from a bigger firm in Durham would cost an arm and a leg. Anyway, by the end of the week she had managed to book a taxi for this coming Monday when she has her first physio session since her last op. This will be her first trip out by herself. Heart in mouth time.

Another thing she has been doing is “thinking about tea” for when I get home for work. Each day, she has had something planned and one day she even cooked it. I DO love pasta when it has that certain crunch to it

This week, she needed to get her prescription for Tamazepam sorted. Karen has this thing she wears round her neck with a red button on it and if she falls, she need only push the button and the Home Care Warden comes round. We were told we could use them to get prescriptions. So, this week was the first test. Unfortunately, they have stopped doing this service, but did it for us this time as a one off.

Another challenge for Karen is to find a shop that sells front-fastening bras. She is really struggling with the bra issue. She can fling it round her back and try and fasten it at the front, but invariably one of the cups will be inside out and/or upside down and with the mental affect of the stroke affecting her “spacial awareness”, she can’t work out how to get the cup the right way round and even if she could, she doesn’t have enough hands to correct it.

So, she has been bra-less most of the week – not really a problem when she is housebound, but I don’t think she will be too keen with her baps juggling about in public.

Another thing she has been doing this week is reading the blog. She is REALLY enjoying reading it and has been howling at some of the funnies that we have come across. She is now upto August 12th last year and has been told (by me) that she can only read upto the day upto the same date of last year. So everyday, she can see how bad she was a year ago.

She had a few tears this week as well. On thursday, she had a visit from her work boss and Personnel. At the moment, they are taking her through a “is she fit enough to return to work procedure”. Every other time they have been, I have been there, but this time, of course, I was at work. According to Karen, they did the usual “How are you doing ?” spiel and she had a good chat with them. But then they started discussing the above mentioned procedure. Apparently, Karen will be visited soon by another Occupational Health person to discuss her situation, followed shortly by a visit from the work doctor who would assess if Karen will get fit enough to return to work. I, personally, don’t think she will, and I think they are thinking along the same lines, but they know how much Karen wants to return to work and they are stepping very carefully so as not to hurt her feelings. I don’t think it is the work, per se, she is missing, but more the camaraderie and friendship of her work colleagues.

Anyhoo, when they started discussing what might happen if she is NOT fit enough to return to work, they discussed her options…..

• Ill Health retirement
• Permanent Injury Benefit.

Karen didn’t like the sound of either of these “not returning to work” options and got quite upset. Normally, I would have been there to comfort her, but I think the bosses must have felt a little awkward. When they had calmed her down, they advised her that I should be there for subsequent visits. When they left, she had another good cry. I don’t think karen feels up to work at the moment anyway, but she doesn’t want to be stamped as “unfit to work” by some other party. I think it’s a door that she would like to keep open, but at the same time, she is happy not stepping throught it for now.
That’s about it for this week. So, generally a good week, a little sad one and funny one to end on.

Last night, we were outside having a fag (yes, we started again ). I have been encouraging Karen to use her left arm/hand as the smoking arm/hand. The idea being it is good physio for her hand to grasp and feel the fag (not that she can feel it). And good for her left arm to try and get the fag to her mouth. It’s more the mouth meeting the hand than the other way round, but she can do it !!!!

The sad thing is sometimes she will do the motion of hand to mouth and not realise the fag has dropped out of her hand and is on the floor. The other sad thing was she said………

kp:- Isn’t it good what I can do with my left arm now. Don’t you think that it’s nearly better ?

She is doing so well with her left arm/hand, but it still has a long way to go. I am pleased that she is pleased and I KNOW there is still improvement to come. I am stilling seeing SOME improvement on a weekly basis.

Funny one to end on. Same issue – fags. Karen was out throwing the toy for the dogs in the back garden. She was smoking a fag in her left arm/hand whilst throwing the toy with her right. On one of the throws, Elsa caught the toy and came running back to Karen, but with smoke coming from her hair. Karen had dropped the fag (unbeknownst to her) on Elsa and it was still going. Anyway, Elsa was totally oblivious to this and Karen rectified the situation

What an awful week.

Karen had managed to book a taxi for Monday to take her to physio for 11.30am. It was coming at 11am. She had planned 2 hours to get ready. She actually ended up getting up at 8.45am allowing her 2 hours to be ready for the taxi. Today, she had purposefully not booked Marie as she wanted to achieve something on her own.

The 2 hours couldn’t have gone more wrong. According to Karen, whilst she was in the shower, someone knocked at the door. It took her a long time to get ready (with a towel round her) and get to the door. During this time, the dogs were going wild (as they do). By the time she had the dogs safely away and she was at the door, the visitor (postlady) had gone, leaving a “Please pick up your parcel at the post office” slip. Karen knew we were expecting the holiday money and so felt really bad she had missed it

Back in the shower. Wash Hair. Done. Just as she got out of the shower, the dogs went wild again for another visitor at the front door. Karen went through the same pallava of trying to get the towel round her, the dogs safely away etc etc….. This time it was the man who cuts the lawn letting her know that he was here and could she get the dogs out of the back garden so he could cut the grass.

She did that and then tried to get ready. Everything went wrong. She couldn’t get her right sock on and by this time was getting very angry with herself (as time was pushing on). When she finally got it on, she started on the bra and tried and tried and tried to get the bra on, but in vain. This was the last straw and at this she broke down. The first I knew of this was a phonecall to me at work.

I had been in work since before 8am. This week was particularly busy for me, as me and my colleague Julie were sitting down with each engineer and explaining some changes that we were implementing. With over 20 people to see, we had scheduled them one after the other from Monday to Thursday. As well as this, all our usual workloads were piling up. So, I am trying to paint a hectic picture here.

My phone silently flashed at me to indicate a call and it popped up saying “Home”.

At the end of one of the One2Ones as we called them (should have been Two2One’s I suppose)….I left the room and phoned Karen…….

Karen was completely distraught. As she spoke, she was sobbing her little heart out………….

Karen :- “I can’t get …..(sob)……ready…..(gasp for breath)……..I CAN’T GET READY !”

For me, this was utterly heartbreaking. Words can’t describe the pain that I felt at being 20 miles away from Karen when she really needed me.

Karen described the events of the morning…..

Karen (still sobbing) :- “………………….and I can’t get my bra on.”

B+stard Bras. They have caused me nothing but grief since I was a teenager. Have bra-makers not heard of velcro ?

Seriously though, it was awful. My first thoughts were to go home, my second thoughts were how important these meetings were for Julie and I in our efforts to move things forward. Aaaaarrggghhh !

The priority was to get Karen off to physio, thinking she would feel better after that. There was no way I could get there in time to get her ready.
dp:- Right…….Why don’t you phone Eileen (ace next door neighbour) and ask her if she can help you with the bra ?

Karen :- I have already thought of that……Eileen works on monday mornings.

Bugger…..At this point, my immediate thought was “Tommy (Eileen’s husband) would be in”. What a stupid thought at such an awful time. Thankfully, it didn’t come out of my mouth.

Tommy would never have managed a bra anyway.

We needed the stress taking out of the situation, so the only other solution was to cancel physio. My next meeting was due to start at this point. I could see Julie chatting to the person, waiting for me to come in.
dp :- Karen……….here’s what you are going to do. I want you to ring the hospital and cancel Physio. Then ring the taxi and cancel that as well. Lydia was going to be picking you up from the hospital wasn’t she ?

kp :- Yes….(still crying, but subsiding a little….)

dp :- Ring Lydia and see if she would come early.
I was keen to get someone there to get the b+stard bra on and to be some company.

dp :- I’ll ring you after this meeting and see how you are getting on.

For me, it was really hard to concentrate on the meeting. And my mind kept reverting back to kp

As soon as it was over, I rang Karen and asked her how she had got on. She had done everything perfectly and the stress was out of the situation. Karen wasn’t as distressed, but was still crying.

I told her I would come home. Karen said that Lydia would be there in 10 minutes so we agreed that I shouldn’t come home.

Lydia took Karen out to lunch, which was nice. I rang Karen back to make sure she paid for Lydia and offered her petrol money. She wouldn’t take the petrol money. Thanks Lydia for rescuing the day for Karen !!!

Since this day, Karen has been VERY subdued. In her words, she feels like an “empty shell”. Tuesday, she just wanted to stay in and be on her own. I phoned the neuropsychologist who is superb at getting Karen out of the doldrums, but she had gone on holiday TODAY, and wouldn’t be back until the 4th of September
Karen rebooked physio for Thursday and Marie came up Wednesday to stay for the night and accompany Karen to physio on the Thursday. With all the hullaballoo of the early part of the week, we had forgot to sort out Karen’s prescription and we desperately needed the drugs for the holiday next week.

Karen sorted this on Thursday, but didn’t enjoy all the phone calls needed.

Last night (thursday night), Karen said…….

kp :- I don’t feel like I am the number 1 priority in your life anymore ?

This was my worst fear realised. I knew that my time at work would make her feel like this. I tried to reassure her that she was, but she cited examples of me forgetting to do the prescriptions, change the pain patches and she was right. I felt awful and tried to reassure her as best I could. I need to up my game !

Today, we went to our appointment with the stroke specialist lady who is advising us on brain injury issues. She was great. We got the usual discussion out of the way, and when she asked Karen how she was generally, Karen broke down into tears and the whole week came out. She started by giving us some pointers on how to cope with these times. It all sounded great. BUT THEN………she headed in the totally wrong direction.

Stroke Specialist Doctor :- …….. It is unlikely you will get back to 100% health.

I was willing and eyeing the lady not to go down this path.

Karen :- What do you mean ?

Stroke Specialist Doctor :- …… It would be wrong of me to say you’re going to get complete recovery…….

I eyeballed her again………

Stroke Specialist Doctor :- But, you’re still making improvements and people continue making improvements for years after a stroke….

She then continued to lighten what she had said.

I was very annoyed that an already ultra-low kp was hearing horrible things from this lady. She was trying to help, but she doesn’t know where Karen is in her head about recovery. Karen is still expecting to be 100% again. Now, Karen is still making improvements and I believe she has a long way to go, but Karen doesn’t want to be told that she won’t get back to 100%.

In the car on the way home, Karen was typically frank……

Karen :- What did she mean by “unlikely to get complete recovery”

dp :- Well, take your eyes for example. We know that your right eye isn’t going to get better.

I said no more, and kp seemed to be happy with this, but I didn’t want to discuss this any further and thankfully she asked no more questions.

Invariably my attempts with Karen to boost her spirit end up talking about all the achievements she has made. From moments from death, to kidney dialysis for life, to walking again, to being left on her own etc….But Karen is “….sick of aiming for things, and achievements”. She just wants to be “normal” again.

She is still really low. We went for a snooze in the afternoon and she woke up not feeling any better. If we can get through tomorrow (Saturday), then I know the holiday and being round all her family will be a great bit of distraction and therapy for her. Roll on Sunday when we fly off to Spain for a week in the sun.

Well, Saturday saw an improvement in Karen’s mental state – not much, but enough to indicate that the holiday would definately improve her wellbeing even further.

We had decided to go for a walk on Saturday and took both dogs for a surprise mid-afternoon walk. Thankfully, I took the brolly as it absolutely bucketed down. We only got as far as Tommy and Eileen’s. They are kindly looking after the house in our absence.

The night was full with us enjoying the “How do you solve a problem like Maria ?” and “Pop Idol” programmes

Sunday (day of the flight) – things picked up. Karen was full of smiles when we met up with the family at the airport. This is the first trip we hadn’t taken the wheelchair on. Mostly, because of the extra security measures and the fact it would be a lot more troublesome. So, Karen ended up walking

• from the car to the airport
• all around the airport
• all the way to the plane
• all the way from the plane to the car (in Alicante)
• all around Carrefour (only shopping centre open on a Sunday !) etc etc…..

Why do I describe all this ? Because she is paying the price for it now !!!! She has been in a LOT of pain since Sunday night. Her right hip seems to be the culprit – it’s not taking the load of all the walking.

Within an hour of arriving at the villa, everyone bar Karen was in the pool. The kids were in heaven (and the adults to be fair). Karen wasn’t feeling well enough to make the big step, but she wasn’t overly perturbed. For our first night, we decided to go to a restaurant within walking distance. But, even this walk (400 yards) was too much for Karen. Karen and I took the car.
Day One

We purposefully had an easier day for our first day today. We stayed at the villa all day and the kids (and adults bar Karen) spent the day in and around the pool. Karen had a great day as far as fun is concerned and when all the kids were getting ready for tea, Karen and I went in the pool together. It was 7pm at night and still warm. (That’s warm spelt C-O-O-L). She was hoping it would ease her pain, but alas it didn’t. She can’t swim now, and so we ended up going round the pool with me carrying her as she did her hydro exercises (big strides, cycling etc..).

It was enough to cool her down and I think she enjoyed the “David and Karen” time.

The whole day was a fun one and enjoyed by all – despite Karen’s pain. While I remember, we had started to knock Karen’s pain patches down and she went a lot of last week on 100ug Fentanyl (morphine). The pain was already getting to her before Saturday of last week, so thankfully (!) we went back to 125ug.

Back to the holiday, we got a takeaway and ate it back at the villa tonight. Fish and Chips for half of us and Chinese for the other half. It went down very well. kp didn’t want anything   But, I bought her a bag of chips and she scoffed the lot.

Karen and I are staying in a hotel to leave space for all the family. Apparently last night, the kids were overexcited and very hard to get to sleep. So, one by one, they had to retire at different times. Louisa (2) was out like a light. Ethan (8) followed 15 minutes later and was also out for the count in no time. Before Abby went to sleep, we started playing Boy’s Name, Girl’s Name, Country, Colour, Food. I’d never heard of it. But it involves picking a letter and then frantically writing down a boy’s name with that letter etc….

Well, Marie slaughtered us all. And we completely forgot about Abby’s (9) bedtime. She ended up going about an hour later, with the big threat hanging over that if she told Ethan that she was up so late, she would go to bed early tomorrow. I doubt very much she will be able to keep that secret !

Karen didn’t join in the game. Karen would nornally be the first person to join in any game. She is known for the volumes she reaches when involved in any form of tournament !!! I think she was concerned that she wouldn’t be able to play it. I know it sounds strange, but her mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be, although I think she would have been ok if she had given it a try. She still enjoyed watching the rest of us and helping Abby out.

So a lovely start to the holiday ! Since I have been back to work for nearly 2 weeks, I have forgotten all my blogging skills and have only took 1 photo so far   Unfortunately, it’s not of Karen, but it is such a nice one of Freddy and Michelle, that I have posted it anyway !

We took some codeine (for breakthru’ pain) on the holiday and because it brings on constipation, kp is reluctant to take it. This morning she had to take it. She felt she had slept most of the night on her right side – and with the hip problem, she had excacerbated the pain.

It seemed to ease it off a little. We started the day by going down to the whirlpool in the hotel. It is always quiet because it’s a £5er each, but Karen really feels like she benefits from it. The warm/hot water must really relax her muscles around her hip or something.

With that over, we headed over to the villa. Glenn and Marie had took the kids down the park, trying to avoid taking them in the pool so early (12pm). The kids were keen to go in, but not many adults are keen to brave the water before the sun has had a go at warming it up and they are too young to go in on their own.

When they returned we all went in the pool, even Karen (when it got a little quieter). Ethan managed to swim a width without his arm bands on. He thought he was the bees knees. As we got out of the pool for lunch (thanks Marie !!!), Ethan got out first and I helped kp up the big steps and then all of a sudden Ethan did one of his “big” jumps into the pool. I was unalarmed and just carried on helping Karen.

Karen :- DAVID – he hasn’t got his armbands on.

I had thought it was quiet – he normally shouts “Did you see that one ?”. But, this one was unusually quiet (he was underwater).
I turned around to see him returning to the surface starting to splash like a good ‘un. He hung on very close to me when I scooped him out.

Marie has done lunch each day (she’s a star) and we all thoroughly enjoy sitting outside eating it.

Karen and I went for a snooze after lunch and didn’t get up until 6pm !!! We did the same yesterday as well !

Tonight, we went to Pizza Nostra. Here is a photo of us all at about 9pm (still light).

Abby is a good eater. She has hollow legs and she will try anything. She had Pop’s Calamari yesterday and tried fish eggs and dried tuna. She thought (as did we all) that it was Fish, Eggs and Dried Tuna, but no it was Fish eggs and Dried Tuna. It didn’t look like caviar to me ! But she tried it nonetheless. She wasn’t keen to try my onion soup, so I paid her to try it (1 euro). Ethan wanted 2 Euros to try it, but I managed to get him down to a euro as well and he really enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a euro coin to give him, so he ended up with all my change. Here he is showing it off with Karen….

Ethan is sleeping with us tonight as a treat – Abby will get her go tomorrow. As the last thing before bedtime, Ethan took a photo of Karen and I……….

Corker of a day.

Ethan stayed over with us and was as good as gold. We expected an early wakeup call from him, but we had to wake him up at 9.45 am !

We had a room service breakfast – a first for Ethan, and he really enjoyed it.

Karen wanted to go in the hot jacuzzi thing again, so we took Ethan down there. Karen’s hips were feeling “ok” for the first time on the holiday but she still wanted the water treatment.

Today, everyone was coming to us to go on the beach next to the hotel. Karen managed really well on the loose sand, but was glad when we reached the camping spot on the beach. Ethan had spotted an inflatables shop and was keen to buy an inflatable jet ski. 16 Euros later and he was proudly carrying a big inflatable to the sea. Unfortunately, he saw a jellyfish as we went close to the sea and was then too scared to climb aboard it in the sea and ended up just sitting on it on the beach and letting the waves just about touch it. He wanted to buy another inflatable (his money) because it was the inflatable’s problem that he wouldn’t go in the sea. He ended up selling the inflatable jetski to Abbie (who was having a great time on it) for 4 Euros and then spent another 14 euros on a huge inflatable airplane which he did go in the sea with !!

Eventually he built up his confidence and soon Glenn and Abbie, and me and Ethan were quite far out jumping the waves. We all had a great time. Karen was happy sitting with the girls. We hadn’t got deckchairs so I had to lower her on to the towel on the sand. When I picked her up again, she was bow-legged for a while, but was “ok”.
The afternoon ended when Ethan was sheltering under me (out at sea) and was jumping the waves. I went down to pick him up higher and at the same time, he jumped up with full force so he didn’t get hit by the wave. Unfortunately, my chin and his head met at full force. He was in tears, and my chin is still sore now

We returned to the swimming pool of the hotel and Abbie did 10 lengths for the 10 Euros I had promised her. Ethan (being the usual wimp he is) wouldn’t even attempt a width. Grrrr !

The evening meal was had at Patio Andaluz. They had Flamenco dancers, and two guitarists who come round and serenade you. It was really good fun. The owner also comes round and pours liquor in your mouth from a great height from this strange glass bottle. The kids loved it (they don’t use liquor for the kids).

Cracking Day overall !

Final foto – Karen is doing something. Can anyone guess what ?

The answer to the “what is Karen doing ?” in the photo. Ronnie had a good guess with “Charades” but it was actually a cow impression, trying to impersonate the plastic kids container (shaped like a cow) that Louisa’s ice cream came in. Back to today….

Karen was in a lot of pain today, but she didn’t let it get her down.

I think, overall, she enjoyed the day, as did we all.

Karen and I didn’t get up until about 11am (it was a late night the night before). Cracking Night’s Sleep, but Karen woke up in pain and it stayed much of the day.

Today, the plan was to spend most of our time at the villa allowing Karen to take it easier. No walking on sand today ! This really killed her yesterday, although we didn’t know it until today.

We spent most of the day around the pool. Ethan had bought an inflatable aeroplane and Glenn, Marie and I spent most of the day pushing the kids (on the aeroplane) from one side of the pool to the other. It was a good laugh until it capsized and then Ethan (8) and Louisa (2) panicked and there were a few tears, but it still made us adults laugh.

Here is Ethan by the pool with the float that keeps him alive when he is in the water. He told us he could swim 25m (before the holiday), but that must be with rubber ring and armbands on, because without them, he goes ungraciously to the bottom of the pool.

Cracking Afternoon. kp stayed awake all afternoon (more than can be said for me (!)). Here she is, in the shade……….

She wanted to take a photo of me. Here I am pointing out my 6-pack…….

This evening it was barbecue time. Karen is starting to realize that if she takes the camera off me, she gets less photos of her in the blog. So here is a photo she took of me doing the barbecue tonight. Again, my 6-pack is well and truly on show. My email address (for all the ladies) is dp at david-pollard.com !

Here we all at the barbecue table (9.30pm at night, so apologies for the bad lighting..)

With the barbecue over, we played Trivial Pursuits – Marie was quiz master and we had a real good laugh especially when Marie asked one of the questions…………..

Marie :- “Who is famous for inventing the equation….. E=MC Little 2 ?” (should have been E=MC squared)

Well, we all found this hilarious, because she didn’t think she had asked it wrong ! We also liked Marie’s impartiality as a judge. When giving Marie and Freddy a question, she said she was picking a question from their favourite topic area i.e. an easy question….

Marie :- “Of which natural resource are saccharin and aspirin two byproducts ?”

Well, Michelle nearly wet herself at the difficulty of the question !!

It was a good laugh ! Coal by the way !
Michelle was keen to get across that she was ahead of me and Karen in the scores, but I kept rubbing it in that she had got the “Does Noddy’s car have a spare tyre on the back ?” question wrong when there was a 50:50 chance of getting it right !

And yes it does !

Cracking day and night. It was Abby’s turn to sleep with Karen and I tonight. Boy, do we regret that ! Within 1 minute of her shutting up to go to sleep, she was snoring like a man, and kp and I were in fits of giggles. I am writing the blog out on the veranda she is that loud !! I can still hear Karen giggling !!

Here is Abby fast asleep – think of the loudest snore you have heard and add it to this still picture and you have Abby in a deep sleep !!

The night from hell !!!

Normally a night from hell is due to one thing – pain !

This time, it was due to – ABBY !

Karen and I experienced a night with Abby for the first time since she was a toddler. I can well imagine it being the last. We spent about 3 hours last night just laughing and saying to each other “Look at her now” .

She was snoring big time and then all of a sudden she would sit bolt upright in the bed (still fast asleep). She would talk to herself and then she would flop down. One of the times she sat upright, when she flopped down, her head rested on my bum and she just carried on sleeping. After a few minutes, she got up again and then lied down but this time was within an inch of Karen who was on her side. It left Karen trapped unable to get on her back, so I had to move her. When I grabbed her to move her over, she shook, but not with fright, the kind of shock you get when you lose balance.

We had a good laugh, but also an awful night’s sleep. At about 4am, the snoring reduced in volume to that of a plane at takeoff and we could get some sleep.

4 hours later we were wide awake. Kids – God Love ‘em !

We treat Abby to the same treatment Ethan had had the other night – i.e. room service breakfast.

And then a trip to the indoor pool….

Abby and I then went to the villa leaving Karen to get some more sleep and lay still for a while because of her pain.
I have been keen throughout the holiday to get Ethan to ring his mam, and although he sometimes said “Yes”, more often he said “Nah”. Today, he took me up on the offer and went out the front to phone his mam. I was watching him from inside the villa. After about 5 minutes, he started getting really upset. It’s his first holiday away from his mam and dad. I went out to console him. He needed hugs big time and I spent the next 15 minutes carrying an 8 year old around the villa bumping him up and down like a baby. Weird, but it really worked.

Emma (Ethan’s mam) was also in tears, so I assured her I would get him to ring her back when he was feeling better. About 30 minutes later, I tried to get Ethan to smile so I could send her a photo of him “ok”. This is the best I could get !

Sorry Emma !

It was then time for the fag run. A quick nip into Torrevieja, parking illegally in a pedestrian zone, ready to play the “We are English, we didn’t notice there were 500 people on the square and no cars” routine, and then back again.

Marie had done us all a packed lunch for the beach. On arrival at the beach, Karen (who has been experiencing a crescendo of pain today), got up and joined Adele at the pool, while I took Abby and Ethan for a ride on a jetski.

They were both a bit wary. Abby offered to go first as Ethan was too scared. She absolutely detested it. I am not sure if it was because of the speed I was going (only about 8knts or the 10′s of jelly fish we saw. I had to take her back with her in fits of tears on the back

Ethan didn’t want to go on. So I ended up doing it on my own. But, jetskiing looks fun, but is actually a bit dull on your own. You whizz along, jumping waves, then jumping more waves, then more etc etc….Not much fun on your own. So after 5 minutes, I was back with the kids who were looking glum, whilst making sandcastles, totally unimpressed with Uncle David’s jetskiing experience.

45 Euros !!!!! And I was only going for Ethan who never even went on the back !

Grrrr !

After spending the next few hours by the hotel pool, we went into Torre for our “Night Markets” experience. Arriving at 6pm was an hour too early, as things don’t really open until 7pm, so we went to a cafe and had tea.

Here we all are………

Afterwards, Adele and I took the kids over to the statue of the lady who looks out to sea….

The funfair followed ….. Here is Abby on the quad bikes…..

Abby (and Adele and I) went on all the big rides. We managed to persuade Ethan to go on 1 big ride and he really enjoyed it after a panic attack at the beginning.

Glenn & Abby and Ethan & I went on the bumper cars and had a great time with that.

Funfair over, we went round the night markets. Ethan bought loads of gear for his Mam and Dad. Glenn caught pickpocketed, but thankfully some Spanish people caught the chap in the act and alerted Glenn to the fact. The pickpocket had done really well in undoing Glen’s zip without him noticing, but thankfully had not got away with the dosh !

We returned to the villa. By this time Karen was in an awful physical state. Pain was abundant The Fentanyl Patches seem to dry up really quickly in the sun, so I have a sneaking suspicion she has been without the relief they bring for 24 hours. Thankfully, she was due another one last night and things seem to be better this morning (6am when I write this).

I wanted to stay on at the villa last night as we were all having a great time, but alas, kp couldn’t hack it anymore and needed her bed, so Glenn returned us to the villa. Here’s what we left …..

A night on our own last night and we really appreciated it. We got up at 6am and did the blog and had a cup of tea which took an age to order as reception kept telling us to contact the restaurant and the restaurant kept telling us to ring reception.
But we got it in the end.

With the blog done and our tea drunk we had some great sleep until about 12pm.

The afternoon consisted of lots of swimming in the pool with the kids (for me) and a chatty afternoon for Karen and Marie before Karen retired for a snooze.

The pain was improved today, but still an issue. More of an issue was the stiffness she had. When she just got up from her chair, she looked like Mrs Overall carrying a tray of coffee over to some guests. When I said this to Karen, as quick as lightning she replied……..

Mrs Overall :- “Two soups !”

Only funny if you know the relevant Mrs O. Sketch.

After the snooze, we did Rancho Blanco and had a lovely meal with the kids before a nice chat back at the villa and then an early night before the trip home tomorrow.

Cracking Holiday that we all have enjoyed.

I’ll finish with a photo of Ethan that I took to send to his mam to reassure her that he was ok.

Going Home Day.

The usual packing, “cleaning the villa” routine occurred on time. I took the kids down to the park to get them out of everyone’s hair as everyone set about cleaning the villa ready for my sister and her crew (arriving an hour after we left).

Ethan was keen to get home. He had really missed his mam. He is 8 and it was his first time away from home – poor lad.

Karen’s pain was on the up. The patches were really drying up under the heat again and were probably next to useless most of the day. Karen had got up from the villa table the night before and literally couldn’t walk. Her bones were set in place. She had to coax her body into the walking motions to ease up a bit. Poor kp.

Today, things were worse, but as usual she kept it mostly to herself.

We arrived at the airport bang on time. Our bag was overweight, so I had to empty loads of stuff into a rucksack I was carrying. Unwittingly, I put in loads of liquids (perfumes/moisturisers), but they still let us through security. We went straight to the Burger King as the kids were hungry.

By the time we had ordered for 10 and ate the meal, it was 25 minutes to the flight. The screen was saying “boarding”. The fag crew had to have the fag, which left it with 20 minutes to go. As fags were lit, they had announced “Final Boarding Call” TWICE !!! I ran ahead to the gate (OTHER END OF THE AIRPORT), and as I got close, we heard on the airport tannoy system…..

Airport :- Would Mr and Mrs POWELARD please proceed immediately to Gate 2 ?

Yikes. I was the first there and I had no choice but to play the “disabled” card.

dp :- Sorry we’re late, my wife is disabled and we were all the way over at Burger King ?  Are we in time ?
The “disabled” thing undoubtedly helped and he said we had “just” made it in time. Karen was the last to board the plane and we were met with the usual stares from “cocky” passengers who were “on time”.

For takeoff on the way TO Spain, Ethan had kept his parka top over his head so he couldn’t see anything. For the takeoff returning to England, he watched the whole thing

Karen had to walk a LONG way at the airport in Alicante and a LONG way at Durham Tees. It definately took its toll as this morning she was at a real low ebb ! The pain was too much and she was “fed up”. A downer was imminent. But, thankfully, it was Patch Change day today and after a snooze she was feeling much better.

The excessive walking on the holiday was simply too much for her and we will definately be taking the wheelchair next time, regardless of the security measures in place !!!

Today has been filled with sleep for both of us, getting the dogs back from the kennels, and more sleep. It was well needed. We are not used to looking after kids for so long, and to be fair, the rest of the family did most of the “looking after” anyway, but it still tooks its toll and the sleep we have had today (Monday) really allowed us to feel fresher !!

Cracking Holiday ! Ethan is “over the moon” to be back with his mam. Karen’s pain is lowering with the patch and the codeine she has taken. So, HOPEFULLY, she will have a better week than the week before the holiday

Generally a good week.

I had the usual “going back to work after a week’s holiday” blues and corresponding backlog of work. It took me until Friday to really get anywhere near on top, but it was an enjoyably week for me overall, but a week full of 8am to 6.30pm kind of hours which is fine for me, but leaves kp on her own for a long time.

On the one hand, I think Karen was pleased to have some time on her own even though she had enjoyed the family holiday, but she also misses company. It’s a strange balancing act. She has caught up with the blog and is now staying exactly a year behind. So, it’s good to hear from her what happened a year ago today and get her take on it. I am really glad I did the blog. I have regrets that I didn’t do more from the first 2 weeks when she was at death’s door. I remember asking if I could take some video footage when she was the size of the marshmallow man from Ghostbusters, but the intensive care staff never came back to me and I never chased it up. But it’s a real gap in kp’s understanding of how awful things were. But I think she has heard it from so many family members she gets some idea.

One of the things that she read a few weeks ago, was about her work colleagues doing a dvd for her of them acting out a sketch at their workplace. The acting was brilliantly awful and the whole thing was as funny as hell. I showed this to kp at the time and she loved it, but now she has zero recollection of it. I wanted to reshow it to her, but for some reason she keeps saying she doesn’t want to see it. I feel sure this is because it reminds her of the good laughs she used to have with her workmates and it will remind her of what she is missing at the moment in the way of some normality of life. Maybe I will find out in a year what her true thoughts are.

Karen has started doing her own tablets. I always used to put a month’s supply into medicine boxes in advance so she could just pick Tuesday Morning, Lunch, Afternoon or “Before Bed” tablets as appropriate. She has had to be reminded a few times about what she should take at each part of the day, but generally she has done ok. She can’t do the morphine patches herself as these are too fiddly and forgetting one of these would have serious consequences on her mood (as demonstrated on the holiday). One of the things I have been noticing when Karen does the tablets is that she takes a tablet out of a foil-sealed plastic thing (with 20 tablets in for example), but that she does it in no order. So, whereas most people would go from left to right, top to bottom (or similar), kp has been doing slapdash. When questioned, she thought she was doing it in order

Not only is it all to pot, she is going on to a second foil-sealed plastic thing before all the tablets are used up, leaving it very confusing for her which tablets are taken out of the box

Here is a picture of what I mean……..

She has also been doing much more around the house this week. She made a full roast meal on the night Marie was here (Wed). She did EVERYTHING herself (apart from carve the chicken (which I used to do anyway)). She started at 4.30pm (according to Marie) and it wasn’t ready until 8.30pm but she was DEAD proud of herself. The veg chopping is what took her ages. Nice one kp !!!

Marie wasn’t feeling too well, so kp and I did the washing up. (Marie ALWAYS washes up while kp and I fag it). I have explained numerous times to Karen how to put the steamer away. It is supposed to look like this (3 steamer compartments inside each other)…..

But, she still can’t understand how to get them in the right order. The result (amusingly) is………..

The following day, she emptied the dishwasher while I was at work. It’s only a minor thing, but is another example of how her “spacial awareness” isn’t 100%. The cutlery holder is supposed to be vertical (in the photo), whereas she put it back horizontal meaning we can’t get as many dishes in. It’s only minor, but it’s these little things that flag up that there is still improvement to be made in these areas.

She knows what it should be like, but can’t work out how to correct it !?!

Marie took kp to Physio on Thursday. kp has had big problems with her bras this week. It’s safe to say she hasn’t mastered them at all. She has bought 2 front-fastening bras. One from Sadie the bra lady and the other from figleaves.com (Thanks to Helen and Susa for pointing this shop out). The Sadie one is a better one for her to do as it has 3 poppets, whereas the fig leaves one has 6 (!!!!) of the usual hook things. She can manage the poppets (it takes time though), but the hooks are near impossible. The fastening isn’t where the problem lies though !! She can get her left arm into the arm correctly, but then she has to fling her shoulder so it swoops around and she catches the other end of the bra with her right hand and she brings it round the front. This is where it goes wrong. During the fling, the bra is invariably inside out or upside down and she simply can’t work out (in her head) how to correct it. So, most of this week has been bra-less. Marie assisted for physio.

I got a bit of a rollocking this week. My mind was so much on work that I didn’t ask enough questions about physio. I did ask how it went and she told me, but I was supposed to get more detail.

kp:- You don’t seem as interested in me anymore

dp:- I am love ! What dya mean ?

kp:- Before, you’d always ask exactly what happened at physio and want to know all the moves etc, but now you don’t seem as interested.
I was banged to rights. She was right. I told her “I would work on it“.

Karen has pretty much cooked all the teas this week, which is great for me and rewarding for her, so we are both pleased about that.

Friday saw the arrival of Chris (Karen’s nephew), Laura (Chris’s fiance) and Ethan. Karen was kept busy with them all afternoon which allowed me to go for a pint with the lads from work, which was a nice change. If they hadn’t been here most of the afternoon, kp would have missed the lack of company for so long, so that worked out quite well.
Yesterday (Saturday) saw the arrival of Jane and Ronnie who were up for the weekend. Jane had teased us earlier in the week with her story of how she had been arrested by the police for harassment of one of her tenants. She had been kept in a cell for 4 hours and released on bail. We were in stitches when we heard the gist of it over the phone, but to hear the whole thing in person with all the gory detail was fantastic and it kept us amused for hours. Jane is a model citizen but at the same time, she doesn’t stand any sh+t. Anyway, she is definately in the right and the 3 complaints she has with the Police Commission over her manhandling should be upheld !!! At one point, they restrained her with 3 sets of handcuffs (one to each hand, and then a pair over her 2 hands), and one of the policeman (she called “Blondie”), put too much pressure on her arms and she has some horrific bruises.

So, a cracking Saturday hearing all about this !!! It is great to look at Karen when she is howling with laughter – it really is.

Pop Idol and a Chinese saw the Saturday night out.

Jane and Ronnie had a great night’s sleep whereas kp and I were up most of the night Jane’s snoring rocking the house foundations had nothing to do with the bad sleep (nothing at all). Nada. Zip. Absolutely nothing !

Today, we treated Jane and Ronnie to Sunday lunch at “The Pump House” (cracking restaurant in Durham). As always, the food was great and we had a lovely time. Here are the girls ….. inside ……..

and outside …..

 

Snoozes were the order of the afternoon and so concludes this week.

Eventful Week with a few big downs

For the past few weeks at work, I have been working long hours. Sometimes in as early as 7.15am, sometimes staying as late as 7.30pm, perhaps even later. I have been enjoying it, but it has taken its toll in the form of early nights. I would get in, have tea, and go straight to bed. Of course, for Karen, this has meant very little company apart from Marie and friends’ visits.

This came to a head on Monday night, when kp “had a chat” with me about my hours. She felt that we weren’t spending enough time together and that the job was getting more attention than her (from me). I had promised (before I started the job) that I wouldn’t do silly hours again (like I did before), and that I would work in moderation. Unfortunately, due to the nature of this job (at this time), it has been necessary to put in these hours just to stay afloat. I had assured her it would get better once some new appointments were made at work, but this didn’t pacify her and she wanted to see changes now.

.
We had quite a lengthy discussion and the upshot was that we agreed I would cut my hours down to more normal working hours. We left it at that, but I worried all night about how I could still do my job effectively with reduced hours and in the morning kp and I had another chat about it. kp agreed that I couldn’t be a clock watcher and she understood that I would need to work some days longer than others, but on the whole I would aim to be more 8.30am to 5pm.

On the tuesday, Karen got up with me at 7am, and we both walked the dogs together. This was great for me and great for Karen. It allowed us to spend more time together and for kp to get up at a more reasonable hour. Once I went to work, she could go back to sleep for a few hours and then aim to stay up all afternoon until bedtime on the night. We did this for the rest of the week and I managed to be less tired on the night time. Success all round.

Here are a couple of shots of kp on the early morning walk. One of these was taken about 6.15am, and the other about 7.15am (on a different day).

Early in the week, Karen explained to me that she felt very upset inside, but she didn’t know why. She felt that she could cry at a moment’s notice, but no tears were forthcoming. Things were obviously on her mind, but she couldn’t articulate what they were. We didn’t dwell on it at the time.

Wednesday saw Marie visit and together Karen and Marie jobbed on around the house and the garden.

The week continued nicely with our new routine and we were dead pleased with how things were working out. On Friday, Karen had wanted to attend “Different Strokes”. It is a weekly meeting of Stroke victims (young and old) and a chance to discuss stroke issues with other victims (victims sounds like a wrong word to use). It’s also a chance for carers to share stories with fellow carers. It’s run by a lovely bloke (Anth) who himself had a big stroke 7 years ago, and the fund raiser is yet another young stroke victim (Lisa). Karen took a taxi to my workplace where we were going on together to the meet at Byker (close to my work). We were made to feel very welcome. We had a nice chat with Anth about how the meets usually work. The first 30-45 mins are normally chatting amongst ourselves. From 4pm to 8pm, there is a masseuse on hand to give free massages, aromatherapy, reflexology or hot stones treatment. There is also a counsellor on hand, a fitness instructor and a physiotherapist !!! All for free, thanks to the sterling work of Lisa.

Halfway through the first 30-45 minutes, Lorraine (a lovely lady) was introduced to us. She was the alternative therapies lady. She was amazing. Registered blind, she took us downstairs to the massage room and proceeded to give Karen a lovely massage. She took Karen’s details down, but because of her condition, she didn’t use a pad and paper, but instead used a dictaphone which her husband later transcribed for her. Karen and I couldn’t help but smile as the conversation unfolded ……

Lorraine :- So, Karen, how old are you ?

kp :- 43

Lorraine (switching the dictaphone on) :- 43

Lorraine :- Are you allergic to anything ?

kp:- No

Lorraine (switching the dictaphone on) :- No Known Allergies

Lorraine :- How did your stroke come about ?

kp:- I was involved in a car accident (and she asked me to explain what happened, which I did for about 2 minutes)….

Lorraine (switching the dictaphone on) :- Car Accident

It probably doesn’t sound funny, but we couldn’t look at each other for fear of a laugh escaping.

Karen thoroughly enjoyed her massage and we both thought Lorraine was great.

With the massage over, we went upstairs back to the room full of the “Different Strokes” gang. We had arrived back just in time for the exercise class. It is chair-based exercises and partners are encouraged to join in. Immediately I thought of a workmate who had just been telling me that he is going to the gym on Friday’s to get fitter. Here I was sat on a chair moving my upper body in tune to the music. I tell you what though, it didn’t half take it out of me. Some of the movements were really tough – especially when I had to keep my leg extended and bring my toes in. Blimey !! And we WEREN’T allowed to smoke while we did it !!!

In all seriousness, it was good fun and everyone enjoyed it. It was particularly funny when we had to do coordination exercises. It was a bit like patting your head, whilst doing a circle on your stomach. The fitness lady had us tapping one foot while moving an arm in a certain direction. Karen and I were hopeless !!!! I kept looking over at Karen to catch her doing ALL the exercises with just one side of her body and not switching as we were supposed to do. It was bl++dy hard. Apparently, it gets easier. Here is a photo taken after the chair-based exercises concluded. I opted out of this one and kp took part in sit-stand exercises against the mirror.

With that over, we were given a guided tour of the swimming baths. They do swimming sessions (private to Different Strokes) on a Tuesday. It’s a shame that the pool is 40 minutes away.

It was a lovely couple of hours and it flew past. Karen and I will definately be going again. It did however have a downside. To be among a group of people with similar ailments has its plus side, but it also reaffirms your condition and in some ways, it was a rude awakening for Karen and it hit her that she had had a stroke. I know that sounds strange, but things like this come as a shock to Karen, especially when (earlier in the week), she had been saying “I think I am nearly better now, what do you think ?”.

So, she went on a downer after the session and we had a few tears on the nighttime and on the Saturday.

After a lovely lie-in on the Saturday, we went in to Durham. I needed my eyes testing, and kp wanted to get some new clothes for her new slimline figure. I detest women’s clothes shopping with a vengeance. But, I put a brave face on and after 90 minutes we had a few tops and trousers. Yippee !

After parking in 2 different car parks (too far for kp to walk between the 2), and trawling around TWO shopping centres, both kp and I were sick of shopping. Here is kp is on the last leg…….

We were back in time for “Maria” and “X Factor” with Pizza.

A sad night followed. We had an earlyish night, but both woke up at about 2am. We went for some fresh air and returned to bed for a kiss and a cuddle. I was particularly in need of a kiss and cuddle. But it didn’t go too well. Karen’s left arm was all over the place and it was hard for Karen and I to get close. In her own words ….

kp:- I feel dead inside

This statement prefaced an hour of tears and a very distraught Karen I felt so sorry for her. She is a bit sick of living at the moment, especially for striving for things to be better.

We had a good talk today (Sunday) about last night and we have decided that we are going to play “The Joker” and involve the neuro psychologist. She is awesome and she REALLY helps kp get to grips with things. We will be ringing her tomorrow.

I am sure kp will feel better after speaking to her, but at the same time I am concerned that such days/nights will continue.

We have had a lovely day today.

Today, we were invited over to Terry and Nigel’s for Sunday lunch. It was gorgeous. Nige and I spent most of the afternoon checking out his new Xbox 360 on his HDTV, while Terry and Karen spent the afternoon chatting outside in the garden. Nice finish to a stormy week. Fingers crossed (again) that this coming week is better !

Final picture…….Karen put a washing load on the washing line on Monday. She took it down on the same day (all dry). Today (6 days later), I found this solitary sock still on the line. It is on the far left of the line !

From bad to worse.

Definately a week of realisation.

The week started off uneventful. I tried my best to do a more normal working hours week, but 3 days of solid interviewing left me needing to work extra hours, but kp was understanding.

We had agreed over the weekend that I would ring the neuropsychologist to arrange for her to come over and discuss things with Karen. Because we are outside of the Gateshead area (where this lady is based), we now have to fund this lady ourselves. At £120 per hour, it is extremely expensive, but worth every penny. This can be claimed back from the insurance company.

One of the reasons I have been so tired is walking the dogs so early before I go into work leaves me with one hour less sleep. So, Karen had arranged for a dog walker to start on Wednesday. This was great and gave me an extra hour in bed !
Marie also came over on Wednesday and cooked us a lovely roast shoulder of lamb. She stayed over and helped get kp ready for her trip to Physio on Thursday. Karen enjoyed Physio as she was introduced to the exercise equipment. Apparently, she had a go on an exercise bike and a trampet. She was told she had only 2 more physio sessions with the current physio as she is moving out of the area. The physio said she would refer her on to a local gym where she can get reduced fee entrance for a certain period. She is also being referred back to the neuro physiotherapist
Karen takes things in very slowly nowadays. She will have heard the physio say there were only 2 sessions left with her before she is referred back on to the neuro physio, but it won’t really have sunk in the implications of this i.e. that there isn’t much more that the physical-based physiotherapists can do. The seed had been planted however. The good news, however, is that the insurance company has offered another 10 physio sessions and we have yet to dip into this pool.

With the physio over, Karen and Marie returned home and Marie left to return to Middlesbrough. The neuropsychologist (np) arrived at 4pm. Karen and the np had a good chat lasting an hour. In previous visits, the np had suggested to Karen that a full recovery may not be possible, but Karen simply didn’t take it on board. At some point during the meeting the np planted another seed when she suggested that Karen may NOT make a full recovery. At this point, according to kp, there were lots of tears and sadness, but the np (wonderful as she is), managed to calm her down and left kp feeling “ok”.

Up until now, I have never broached the probability of a less-than-full recovery with Karen. I didn’t want to bring on the upset and felt it best to let kp contemplate this in her own time. This week was beginning to bring this on more and more in kp’s mind.

We had big chats on the Thursday night and Friday morning and I again left this along the lines of “you’re still making progress love” (which she is). Avoiding the issue I suppose, but I didn’t feel kp was ready to take in the full picture.

And then………Friday came…………

kp met me at work at 6pm (taxi) and we went on to “Different Strokes”.

Today was a special night for the Byker “Different Strokes” group. They were celebrating their 5th birthday. A wonderful spread had been provided including drinks, a big tombola and there was going to be a quiz. We were really looking forward to it. It was quite a busy session. The one thing kp wanted to achieve while she was at the session was to speak to another lady who had had a similar stroke and she wanted to see how she got her bra on (kp is still struggling and can only get it on 50% of the time).
We had a chat to a couple of stroke survivors. Anth came over (the wonderful organiser) and had a chat with kp and I. It went something like this….

Anth :- “I read your blog from last week.”

Karen doesn’t know what I have put in the blog over the last year. She is a year behind. She didn’t know about the fact that I had mentioned how upset she was after the last meet. Although kp was upset after the last meet, it hadn’t really fully sunk in that she was a stroke victim and that she may not get full recovery.

Anth :- “…… The red lights were flashing last week when you were asking how long it will take to get to 100%. I realised very early that I wasn’t going to get back to 100%……..”

At this point, my focus was totally on Karen as I knew Anth’s words would hit hard. She was starting to well up.

Anth :- “….. it’s best to accept where you are and then anything else is a bonus.”

He was trying to help big time and his heart was 110% in the right place. kp managed to keep a tap on her tears and upset. When Anth left to start the night rolling, kp got very upset and turned her back to everyone in the room so she could cry.

kp:- “I need to get out of here.”

I ushered her into the corridor outside and comforted her for a few minutes. I popped back in to make our apologies and did the best I could to make Anth feel that it wasn’t his fault she was upset, more the situation. Anth, if you are reading this, hopefully you can see the whole week was bringing about some realisation. It needed to come and now it has. It was coming eventually anyway.

Karen was really distraught and cried all the way to the car. When I eventually got her to the car, she cried her little heart out. Gasping for breath, she tried to get her handbag into the car and it wouldn’t stand up where she wanted it to……

kp :- F++KING HANDBAG !

Karen NEVER swears. She hates it.

We spent 5-10 minutes in the car and the crying didn’t stop or even dwindle. In the end……

kp:- Just drive me home !!

I drove home with 1 hand on her lap (patting and stroking it). She was as pale as a ghost. Halfway home, she opened the window fully. She was feeling very sick. It turned out we were by the chippy where we normally get chips from, so I pulled over. But the smell of Doner Meat was too much and no sooner had I parked and opened the door than she threw up on the pavement. The passers by on the pavement must have thought she had drunk too much or something but neither of us were bothered.

She waited until there was no more throwing up to be done. My longing for Doner and Chips had passed. Karen just wanted to get home and lie down. She was that keen to lie down, we laid her down on the back seat. Karen hasn’t been in the back of a car since the accident, so she must have been bad. At home, she went straight to bed to “get out of it”.

At about 3am, she woke up and we had a long chat. There were more tears. Trying to calm her down, I said…..

dp:- But you don’t know you aren’t going to make a full recovery.

kp:- David, I do. Stop saying I may make a full recovery. It’s not going to happen.

So, I think it has sunk in where she is and that she won’t get back to be the Karen she was before. As she herself said…..

kp:- Nothing is going to get 100% is it. My hips are only going to get worse. My eyesight isn’t going to get better. My head isn’t going to improve. And my left arm is useless and won’t get better.

There was nothing I could do, but agree. She wouldn’t hear anything I said to the contrary. When I tried to put a positive in there …..

dp:- You WILL still see some improvement in your left arm though. We are still seeing some improvement from week to week.

She accepted it, but reiterated that she won’t be the old kp. People reading this who know Karen and who have met her post-accident will think she is the old Karen. I said as much to her, but she knows she isn’t the old Karen. She cited examples focussed on her brain which reassure her she isn’t 100% mentally…….From memory, they were things like…..

• Bra
• Not being able to turn a pair of trousers outside in. If there is a leg the wrong way in or out, she can’t work out how to get it right.
• Can’t open a can of corned beef for the dogs. She can’t work out the orientation needed for the key provided.
• Not enough grip in her left hand to open a can of beans (for example)
• Etc….

She also mentioned that she can’t take things in like she used to be able to.

There was little I could say to that. We went to bed on a low ebb.

Saturday came, and kp was subdued in the morning. We needed to fill the day in big time. I suggested taking some trousers back to M&S, picking up my new glasses etc….We did this, we also picked up an electric potato peeler and an electric tin opener (fingers crossed they help).

Saturday night, we weren’t short of good programmes to watch and despite all the things on her mind, she was able to laugh at bits and bobs. Especially the strange faces Andrew Lloyd Webber pulls when watching artists.

Connie won the Maria show and we were both over the moon at that.

The TV had took her mind off things. She slept brilliantly as did I.

This morning, conversation turned back to what had happened this week. She doesn’t want to think about or talk about the realisation of her situation. She CERTAINLY doesn’t want to hear that “things are going to be ok.” She knows she needs to accept the status quo.

Today, it’s a lovely day, and she is “ok”. She is avoiding talking about the issue. She wants to see the np again this week to try and get her head around things. This is a great idea and I will be sorting this on Monday.

So………..not the best week. But it needed to come. Perhaps it will be a good thing in the long term……

Time will tell !

A better week, but still a bad one.

Leaving last weekend behind, kp was down. She didn’t want to speak to anyone (friends or family). She hasn’t seen the dog walker all week, instead she has left a note for her that she is in bed.
Karen had accepted that she wasn’t going to get back to her old self, but she didn’t understand how to deal with it. Such conversations were avoided. We had agreed that I would contact the neuropsychologist (specialist in brain injuries) and ask her to come out again to help Karen understand the way forward.

She was busy this week, and didn’t have time to come out, but promised to phone. The phonecall never came Very unlike her.

I took some time off work this week to take Karen to the eye hospital (Shotley Bridge). It gave me a nice lie-in. The appointment was for 10.15am. We didn’t get seen until 11.45am We were both very frustrated. The place was heaving with patients. kp got so frustrated she got up to go and see someone to ask what time we would seen. (More like “did she have time for a fag ?”). By the time she came back, this old man had taken her seat next to me. It was great to see the surprise on her face when she came back to see her seat had been taken. She sat opposite me from that point on, and we couldn’t help but giggle at each other. kp has been trialling glasses with the right eye frosted over. It has helped in certain scenarios. They restested her eyes……..

No change.

She was issued with a prescription for glasses with one eye frosted. She has to go back to the RVI at Newcastle to be fitted for contact lenses as well. She will be wearing a contact lens in her right eye that completely blocks the vision so it doesn’t confuse her left eye.

Physio was on the following day. Marie normally comes over during the week to help kp get ready for physio and to take her there. kp wanted to go on her own. I don’t think she wanted to talk to anyone, even Marie, so she vowed she would get ready herself. She struggled with her bra and ended up taking it to physio in a bag and getting the physio to fit it. kp cried the whole physio session and absolutely no physio was done. She really likes this physio and feels she really understands kp’s needs. This is the penultimate physio session with this lady. After this, she leaves for a new job down south. kp will really miss her. Poor kp.

Knowing how down kp was, I had already mentioned the idea of going to see friends in Southampton (Tracey, Mark and Megan) in November. I put this plan into action and booked some time off work to go and see them in late November. We are also going to see “The Sound of Music” and “Dirty Dancing” while we are down there. Hopefully that will give kp something to aim for.

The weekend came. I had told kp the weekends are all hers and we would do anything she wanted to do. On Saturday, Adele (Karen’s niece) was doing a zip slide from the Tyne Bridge in Newcastle. It was in aid of the Anthony Nolan Leukaemia charity. Adele had raised £700 for it. Adele’s brother Lee died of Leukaemia a few years ago (aged 19) and Marie and Adele are always doing something in his name (from Car Boot Sales, Charity Market Stalls, Zip Slides etc…). This was Adele’s second zip slide. Previously she had done one from the Transporter Bridge in Middlesbrough.

Michelle, Freddy, Abby, me and Karen were there to support her. (Marie was on holiday abroad).

Here they all are……

Here is kp in front of the Tyne Bridge….

Here she was before the zip slide….

I was tasked with filming the zip slide. Unfortunately, the battery ran out (on the camcorder) as she was about 5 seconds into the slide

Here are some photos of Adele during her slide….

It was a nice distraction for Karen as well. Adele did really well and really enjoyed it ! The funny event of the day was this bearded man that approached us. He befriended Freddy, then he befriended me and we couldn’t lose him. I was mouthing to Karen to “HELP !” me. Karen said I had a text on her phone. I went over. HE CAME OVER.Karen made up a story that we would get better photos in a different location. We moved to the different location. At first he didn’t follow, but within 5 minutes, he had worked his way back to us.

We didn’t lose him until we sped away in the car. It was funny at the time.

With the zip slide over, we went into Durham to get kp’s prescription glasses ordered. Here she is with her chosen pair….

The woman in the shop was doing my head in. She spoke fake english, using big words where a small word would do.

kp:- Will the frosted glass stand out in these glasses ?

Woman :- I am not sure. Let me go and verify that for you.

Grrrrrrrrr ! Verify that !!! Check it, don’t verify it !!!

Really got my goat up !

Home from our expedition, we went to bed. Neither of us had had a good night’s sleep the night before. I was up from 2am to 5am, unable to sleep.

By the time we got up, kp was really fed up.

kp:- Does me being fed up make you fed up ?

dp:- It does yes. I feel really sad for you.

kp:- You’re going to get sick of me being fed up and leave me.

Obviously I reassured her that that WASN’T going to happen, but she is so down at the moment, I am unsure if she believes me.

Today, I have been shopping to Sainsburys. We were due to go to Aldi and Matalan (for Karen) but she didn’t want to do ANYTHING today

So, a better week, only because it couldn’t have been much worse.

Btw, my mum had her hip replaced this week. All the best Mum, I am sure you will be out of hospital VERY soon. You had better be, as we are coming down next Saturday and I want LOTS of roasties !

She’s cooking on gas this week.

It seems like forever that Karen has been really low (probably only 3 weeks). But, we turned the corner this week.

On Sunday (24th) night, Karen was really low again and couldn’t find any good in life. It was time to move up a notch on my part. We had asked the neuropsychologist (np) to come last week, but she hadn’t even phoned. We couldn’t afford another week like that.

So, first thing Monday morning, I rang her again
………….Answering Machine……………

I left a short message nearly begging for her help. I have no doubt that she would be able to hear desperation in my voice. That same night, she came to see Karen at 5pm. She was still there when I got back at 6.30pm. There had been lots of tears and lots of talking, but Karen felt “something had clicked”. Music to my ears. Whilst I was there the np explained to me how me going back to work had affected Karen and how she felt trapped at times etc etc……She obviously went through a lot more than this, but my memory is awful and I can’t remember what she said.

While I remember, Karen has been trying to explain her bad memory to me. She can’t remember as much as she used to be able to. When I hear this, I simply tell her that “my memory is sh1te”, but this really annoy Karen as she can tell her memory and other mental functions aren’t as good as they were pre-accident.

Back to the NP session, the important thing was that she had gone through things in such a way that Karen felt better. The other thing that came up was Karen’s sleep talking. This came out just “in passing”, but turns out to be quite important. Since Karen came home from hospital, she has been talking a great deal in her sleep. She also moves her hands a lot whilst asleep, i.e. scratching her head, holding her other hand etc…The conversations she has are quite lengthy and quite strange. I am so used to them now, I try and make a mental note about what the conversation was about and then fall back to sleep. By the morning, I have invariably forgotten the subject matter. I do remember last night’s one vividly. It was a single word, shouted out. It was either…..

kp:- “Bitch !”

or

kp:- “Fetch !”

Anyway, the NP is referring Karen to a sleep clinic in Middlesbrough so this can be looked into in more detail. She may have to spend the night there. Watch this space.

After the NP left, we had a good talk and were both very relieved that a corner had been turned.

The next day I emailed Pip (on Karen’s behest) to find out what magic she had done to get Karen to turn that corner…..Here is her reply…..It took me a few attempts to grasp….

“….All I did in the meeting with Karen was to contextualise the change in her perception about the problem, comparing her perceptions before she took on this information with after. I did this taking some of the physical elements of her condition as an example – walking/vision and arm movement. When looked at on balance her ‘real’ underlying feelings about possible recovery were not all that different before and after. Infact, because of the possibility of occlusion of one eye to prevent double vision – she actually thinks things could improve on balance a little more than she had expected.

The other general area we discussed, I think when you came into the room was the tendancy she has to think in black and white and the fears she had about the effect of her illness/your return to work on your relationship. This was resulting in a tendancy for her to withdraw into a shell and not talk properly to you and increasingly build up a sense of isolation/loss and concerns that you might overwork yourself – but at the same time really wanting to be independent and manage without you needing to be around all the time. – As you get back on with your normal life she feels that she is becoming an onlooker, rather than really living as she used to (perhaps the reason for the ‘dead inside’ feeling).

I think these were the key elements I remember. If you give this to Karen this may be sufficient to jog her memory so that she can think whether it was this or something else that helped her.”

The following days saw further improvement as Karen reverted back to her old self again.

Wednesday was physio. Karen went by herself as Marie was on holiday. She struggled with her bra again, and asked the dog walker (another Marie) to put it on. I think Marie was quite shocked at the request but she helped her anyway. Karen isn’t phased at all by other women putting her bra on. Probably as a result of the long hospital stay. The physio went well, although the following few days saw Karen paying the price for her physio session in the form of stiffness and pain.

Another thing I forgot to recall from last week is that we tried to reduce the pain patches from 125ug to 112.5ug. Unfortunately, kp could feel the difference and with her mood being so low, it wasn’t worth persisting with the pain as this would only aggravate her low mood.

On thursday, I was busy at work talking to Julie my work colleague when a text came through from Karen. There were no words just this picture…..

Karen was so proud she had been able to get the duvet cover on the washing line, she had texted me a photo of it. I couldn’t help but laugh. Nice one kp !!

Friday we had arranged an appointment to see the Doctor. Karen wanted some stronger sleeping tablets and we needed a new sick note. She is now on 20mg Tamazepam a night.

Saturday saw us make a trip to Lancashire to see my mum (and family) after her hip replacement. She was doing really well walking around the house (with her crutch). Dad cooked lunch. Amazingly good considering the chef !!

It was great to see all my family again and we all had a good time….

Here is Jamie with his special camera smile….

Sophie took over the camera and took ALL of these photos…..

Strange start to the week.

Karen is still doing really well mentally. Physically, she is doing all her exercises as requested by the physio, who had done a great schedule for kp (personally adapted to her) i.e. things like walk the dogs round the garden, play with the dogs, etc…

But today (Tuesday, start of our holiday), at about 5am, she started crying in her sleep, murmurs to begin with, but then it grew and grew. I had to wake her up.

dp:- Karen, you’re dreaming.

kp:- I am not, I am losing my mind (still crying)

She was still asleep, but awake (if that makes sense)

Normal trip to the loo, sobbing along the way as she went. I went with her.

As she sat on the loo, I hugged her and reaffirmed that she was just dreaming, she hugged me SO hard back.

dp:- It’s just a dream, love.

kp:- Is it ? (kind of waking up now)

dp:- Yup, just a dream

She calmed down bit by bit. The hugging got less and less choking, I could breath shallow breaths now.

We went for a fag. I asked her what her dream was about, but she didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t want to take her back to that upset, so just left it.

Very strange.

Anyway…..

Holidays today. We left a bit too late (for my liking) to the airport. There were huge queues at the security point. Shoes off and x-ray job. kp could leave her shoes on. They must think terrorists wouldn’t use in a wheelchair ?!

We had to find Nige/Terry and Wills. No surprise to find Nigel in the technical shop, eyeing some gadgetry (like a moth to the light).

We all sat together on the plane and it was great to share in Will’s excitement at his first flight. He loved it.

kp pretty much slept the whole way there. I managed an hour or so.

We picked up the hire car as usual and drove to the villa. No sooner had we left the airport, than we started to hear a clunking sound. kp was really scared. I couldn’t pull over as we were on the motorway by this stage.

The clunking continued. The car handled fine. We couldn’t work it out at first. It wasn’t a noise that was clunking at the speed of the engine, but the speed of the car, which meant brakes, wheels, something like that. We carried on at a steady space.

Karen was really on edge for about 5 minutes

Just before we pulled over in the services, we had sussed out what it was. It was the roof rack. Nige and I tightened it up and the problem was gone. Big relief for us all really, especially Karen though.

Nigel, Terry and I popped in to the shops for supplies, while Wills and kp stretched their legs.

The first night, we went down to Filtons, the restaurant at the bottom of the road and had a thoroughbly enjoyable time. kp and I then made our excuses and headed off to the hotel for a late check-in (11pm).

Good first day.

I have taken a photo of the meal tonight, but unfortunately, technology is letting me down this morning. Hopefully, I will sort this out as the week progresses and the holiday blog will be a bit more comfortable.

I can hear my mym shouting what’s the weather like. Mum, the weather is gorgeous. 30′C yesterday, but the next few days are a bit colder

29,28,29′C (Wed, Thurs, Fri)

Our first night was an interrupted night of sleep. First night bedding into our new hard beds at the hotel.

The result of this was we didn’t wake up until 12.30pm !! Nige found this very amusing as they had been up since 9am with William.

It was decidedly mild. The sun wasn’t out at all, completely overcast. At this time of the year, you really need full-on sun to brave the pool. But, kids don’t understand that and Terry had to brave the pool water with William. As soon as his lips were blue (they really were), she pulled him out. She was very relieved.
We all went shopping at the Carrefour, Nigel being lured to the technology section under the guise of “getting a battery for William’s mp3 player”.

We took the wheelchair for kp simply for the airports as there is a great deal of walking involved. The supermarkets were “sin wheelchair” (spanish for without wheelchair I think). And she did really well. Her pace was such that we felt it best to split from the Gibbses and do 2 seperate shops. It worked really well.

With the shopping done, we spent the rest of the afternoon by the pool. The sun came out for the odd 10 minutes. It was my turn to brave the pool with William. Erect nipples, the order of the day. Nigel was concerned that certain ball-shaped parts of his body would not survive the cold but as I had gone in, he couldn’t lose face with William already in, and seconds after I was in, he was in. Fortunately for me, that meant I could get out . So poor Nigel had to spend 20-30 minutes with William until Will’s lips were blue once more.

kp went for a snooze after about an hour – she was really flagging.

Dinner was at Rancho Blanco. We had some really good laughs, but by 10pm we were flagging. Terry had practiced the Spanish for “Can I have the bill please ?” and was all ready to do her bit, but there was no waiter around.

I spotted one in the distance, and did the mime version for “Can I have the bill please ?”. Poor Terry didn’t get to practice her Spanish.

Straight to bed on our return for all of us.

We are hoping the weather will pick up. The weather forecast says it will, but that doesn’t mean too much after yesterday’s wrong prediction.

Cracking Day had by all today.

After a decidedly luke warm first day, Thursday saw beautiful cloudless skies. It wasn’t too hot, but hot enough (28′C).

Last night, we had overused the a/c and needed a blanket and some mutual bodily warmth to survive the night. Pollards = wimps.

We were up at a very respectable 8.30am. Breakfast on the balcony – croissants, toast, freshly squeezed orange juice – lovely start to the day. Karen was in good form physically having just had a set of patches applied. Mentally she is great.

We had witnessed an awesome thunderstorm in the middle of the night. It was 50+ miles away (out to sea) – you could hear no thunder, but the frequency and intensity of the lightning lit up the storm clouds on the horizon – very impressive.

Once showered and changed we headed to the Gibbses. After a cup of tea, we prepared lunch (Terry mostly) and went to La Zenia beach. As usual, the beach merchants came round offering sunglasses, rattling stones etc…Then the Henna artists, followed by massers. This beautiful chinese lady came round and offered Nigel a full body massage. Nigel jumped at it and within seconds was prone, face down on his beach towel. The lady applied the lotion, and then did some unusual hand signals to her friend in the distance. Her friend was a chinese gentleman who unbeknowst to Nigel approached and continued the massage seamlesly. We all had a good snigger at the fact Nigel thought he was being massage by this Chinese lady.

She then offered me a massage. After some furtive glances around for lurking chinese gentleman and not spotting any, I said “yes”. The massage was lovely – very relaxing. At one point, when she was massaging my inner leg, she brushed by a testicle.

Lady :- “Excuse me”

dp :- “No, that’s fine”

It was the best bit, but unfortunately, it wasn’t that kind of a massage and with the wife less than a foot away, it was just as well.

Discussing the massages later with Nige, he remarked how he had found it strange that the woman’s voice seemed to fade into the distance while she was massaging him, at which point he had realized that it was no longer her massaging him. We all laughed. As Nigel himself pointed out, he wouldn’t have had a massage if he had known it was a bloke.

The sea was MUCH warmer than both the hotel pool and the villa pool, so we had a good splash around in that. kp stayed back with Terry, both of them discussing their dislike for sand/beaches. William paddled while Nige and I went for a swim and some bodysurfing.

By the time the swim was over, it was lunchtime (2pm), and we went upto the hotel to enjoy our sandwiches and beers. We stayed by the hotel pool for a while as Nige, Terry and William enjoyed the “big” pool.

The lads then played some tennis on the tennis court, with some balls that had virtually no bounce in them. It was tiring. Us old men can’t move around the court as quick as we used to be able to. William was a good ball boy and not a bad tennis player when he kept his eye on the ball.

Tennis over, the girls relaxed on the sun loungers while the blokes went back to the sea to build sandcastles and go back out to do some bodysurfing. William wasn’t keen at all on the sea and ended up coming back with Nigel (in tears).

At about 6pm, we all headed up to the hotel bedroom. The boys had showers to get all the sand off and then we drove to the villa. For the first time on the holiday, I didn’t drive. Terry offered to drive so she could memorise the route. As Karen got in the car, she gave me a look as if to say “Yikes”. This wasn’t ‘cos it was Terry, more that it wasn’t me. Although Terry didn’t help matters by saying she had never driven from the left seat again.

kp was quite quite scared.

It didn’t help matters when Terry……….

• couldn’t move the seat forward
• couldn’t start the car (was a button, no key)
• applied the brakes firmly all the time (they were harsher breaks than her car)
• went for the gearstick where there was no gearstick (left of her seat)
• couldn’t adjust the mirrot remarking “who needs to see behind anyway”
• approached roundabouts saying “which way round do I go”

Within 5 minutes, she was sound and she drove really well. I just know Karen was unnerved by every little thing that didn’t go smoothly.

Chinese night tonight. Nigel and I went for the chinese. On the way, we stopped at the pharmacy for some aftersun. We had all caught the sun. A gadgety-looking health machine caught his eye. For €1 it weighed you, measured your height, blood pressure, body fat index etc… Nige couldn’t resist. He lost his first €1 when it thought he was a woman. The lovely pharmacy man came over to assist and Nigel got his health check. When it came to my health check, Nigel did everything possible to distort my readings. At least I hope that is why my pulse was only 95 over 60.

We ordered our chinese and sat down for some prawn crackers and beers while we waited.

The meal was huge when we got it back to the villa and we could only eat about 2/3rds of it. By this stage, we were all knackered. Nige and I offered to wash up, which we duly did. Washing up isn’t a mentally taxing affair for Nige and I and in no time at all we were pretending to be robots on a production line (with all the relevant noises). He would wash and pass me the plates, and I would do the robot thing whilst I dried them.

Well, that’s when things got a bit out of hand. We were both laughing at our inane attempts at being robots, the laughing got worse and worse, until I was out of control and couldn’t stop laughing. This made Nigel worse, which made me worse etc etc… I had to leave the room and go out on the veranda. kp was laughing ‘cos I was laughing so much, ditto Terry. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop laughing and could see how people could die from laughing. Eventually I  stopped, but my sides were literally hurting !!

Cracking night !!! The weather forecast is great everyday until we return (Tuesday). Big thanks to Marie who is homesitting/dogminding !!!

Quieter day today.

Karen’s pain was starting to resurface a little – dry patch syndrome methinks. It gets changed in the morning so that’s not so bad.

Up about 10.30am and straight into the heated indoor pool which wasn’t heated ! It was freezing. At least the jacuzzi was hot. Shower followed jacuzzi.

A trip to Carrefour was in order as Karen wanted to get some warm clothes for the evenings. I was ok with my t-shirt and shorts, but Karen feels the cold much more since the accident (bizarrely) and 20 minutes shopping around Carrefour left us with the clothes she needed.

The Gibbses had had a chilled morning. Not ‘cos of the weather, as it was a scorcher today. kp and I called in at the local supermarket on the way home to get fresh bread and other lunch supplies. I made lunch. kp just had a croissant. William wasn’t hungry and hid himself away in his bedroom.

Following lunch, kp, me and Terry went for a snooze leaving Nigel to play with William in the pool. He had cunningly worked out how to be in the pool with William without actually getting wet. There is an inflatable turtle (quite large) that can take an adult. He had gone onto this and managed only to get his feet and hands wet. If there hadn’t have been a turtle, I feel sure Nigel would have worked something else out – it was that cold.

At about 6pm, we all started chilling in the front room while William watched Goldeneye. It was a bit blustery out and starting to get cool. We were due to have a barbecue, but it was felt to be too windy, so that has been postponed until tomorrow – instead, Nigel and I performed our hunter gatherer role and went down the chippy providing food for our women and kid.

We watched the end of the film and were all tired and ready for bed. kp and I drove back to the hotel and had an early night. (11pm – quite a late night actually for Karen).

Good Night\’s Sleep for kp and I.

The patches were applied this morning much to kp\’s relief. Breakfast on the balcony followed. Gorgeous – lovely freshly squeezed Orange Juice, tea, coffee, toast and danishes.

Yesterday, the heat on the balcony was bordering on unbearable, but today, a high level of cloud nicely masked the sun\’s intensity and it was a real pleasure to sit out. Whilst sitting out, I found a small marble-size lump under my skin (few inches below my left nipple). Was in 2 minds whether to tell kp or not as she gets very protective of me and dreads me not being around to care for her. I told her and she was alright about it. Must get it checked out when we get back.

After breakfast, kp was still tired and went back to sleep. Nigel had lent me William\’s Nintendo, so I was content playing that for an hour or so.

We then showered and got ready and headed off to the Carrefour. kp wanted some warmer clothes for the evening. I detest clothes shopping, but put a brave face on for \’wor wife. She has a tendency to browse. If it was me, and I needed some warm clothes, I would go straight to the relevant aisle, pick the clothes, check the size, go straight to the checkout and leave asap. Things catch kp\’s eyes, despite her lack of vision in her right eye. When she had amassed about 5 items of warm clothing, we headed to the checkout, but then something caught her eye AGAIN.

dp:- I\’ll go and queue !

That\’s my hint at \”I am sick of shopping\”. I think I got a bit of a tut, but I didn\’t wait to hear any ensuing argument.

We stopped at the pharmacy for some bonjela-like stuff for kp\’s mouth ulcer. kp gave the health gadget machine a try, wanting to know what her vital statistics were. It was confirmed, she is a short woman, slightly overweight, but the key health bits and bobs were fine

At the villa, we had agreed to skip lunch in favour of an early barbecue. Wiliam was keen to brave the pool, unfortunately there weren\’t too many volunteers to go in with him. This is where it\’s good to be the one without kids, because the get-out clause is so easy to play.

William:- \”David Pollard, will you go in the pool with me ?\”

He always calls me David Pollard, not just David ?!

dp :- \”Yes, later, but I think your mum and dad would rather go in !\”

Scowls follow, but it\’s good for a laugh ! Terry braved the pool, but cleverly went on the turte (big inflatable) so as not to immerse fully. It did the trick, and William was soon having the time of his life. Unfortunately for Terry, she fell off at one point and we all enjoyed watching her hyperventilate.

Dad was less than keen to do the pool today, which was fair as Nigel had been in for a good hour or so yesterday with William. He was the only one I think !!

kp was content reading magazines by the side of the pool. Nigel was fixing the nintendo n some form. When Terry was too cold to continue, it fell on me to join William in the pool. I said I would if he practiced some swimming (without the rubber ring) with his mam. Unfortunately, he did this and I had no get-out clause. It wasn\’t as cold as it was on the first day to be fair, and we had a good laugh.

Once dried from swimming, Nigel went shopping for some beers, while Karen prepared the salad and cooked the jacket potatoes, and I started the barbecue. It was Terry\’s turn to take a well-earned rest from food prep. The barbecue was lovely (if I say so myself).
After the barby, we played cards for a couple of minutes, until it dawned on us that Nigel and Terry weren\’t that keen on cards. We chatted for a while, before then retiring back to the hotel.

I was knackered and went straight to sleep. kp watched tv for a bit before joining me in slumberland.

Good day overall.

Lovely day.

The forecast was Sunny Intervals. The reality – Sun Sun and more Sun.

Karen had quite a bit of pain in the night – can only think the patch is drying out too quickly again. This meant we both didn’t have a brilliant sleep. We woke up about 8.30am, ordered breakfast, enjoyed that and then returned for more sleep. Getting up at about 1.30pm, we got ready and headed off to pick up the Gibbses to go into Torrevieja for the Pier Walk.

Karen felt she could walk off the pain – I wasn’t convinced. We took the wheelchair – even Karen accepted she couldn’t walk the full 2 miles (1 mile out, 1 mile back). We started off with an ice cream – Haagen Daz (gorgeous). Terry didn’t have one, so she got the non-so-cushy number of pushing Karen (in the wheelchair) up the long ramp to the start of the pier walk so I could eat my ice cream.

Karen got out of the wheelchair when her ice cream was done and proceeded to walk the first half mile. We saw loads of fish along the way, much to William’s amazement. Once at the end of the pier, kp got out of the wheelchair to enjoy some tobacco pleasures. Stopping on the return for more photo opportunities, we headed back to the start of the pier. kp walked the first quarter of the return, but by then, her “buns” were killing her. (arse cheeks).

We headed off to a cafe for a large beer and soft drinks (for the ladies).

William was desperate (I can’t remember how I should spell that mum – is this right ? Can’t remember what you said !!) to buy something. We dabbled at the night markets, but couldn’t find anything and so instead bought a plastic car from the ice cream shop.

We returned to the villa, where Nige and I played each other on the Nintendo, while the girls chilled. Whilst playing nintendo, William (6 3/4) shouted from the loo that he needed his bum wiping. We paused the game………….Nigel headed off to perform his fatherly duty.

Nigel :- Wow, son, that’s a cracking one that. Hang on, let me get my camera.

And then, yes, you guessed it – Nigel came out of the loo, grabbed his digital camera, took a photo, gave the camera to his son and heir who proceeded to show his turd off to everyone. You can take the Gibbses anywhere !!!!!!!!!!!

It wasn’t long before it was time to go for the evening meal. Patio Andaluz tonight (home of the Flamenco Dancers, the duelling guitarists and the chap who poors pernod down your throat from a height).

It was a great night. We were not in the line of sight of the Flamenco Dancers, but rather just in front of a huge tv showing rugby off Sky Sports. But thankfully, once the entertainment started it changed to a picture of the Flamenco dancers. At one point, kp needed a fag and walked off in front of the flamenco dancers and we all had a chuckle at her walk past on our big screen

I was so amused by this, I followed her shortly after doing an impression of her. It amused me anyway. You could actually see past the flamenco dancers into the car park. And I started finding it really amusing that someone standing behind them (in the car park) would look really funny if they were having a fag. So I ended up being this person. I found it funny, I am not too sure anyone else did. Small things !

With the meal over, it was about 9.30pm and everyone was tired. We dropped the Gibbses off and came back to the hotel, chatted for 30 mins and then it was time for sleep. Short, but good day !

We got up at a half decent hour this morning. Breakfast on the balcony – as usual – NO CONSISTENCY with the breakfast. One morning you get a perfect breakfast of freshly squeezed orange juice, hot toast, croissants etc etc….Today, was orange squash, toast with no “toasted” element (slightly firm bread), and biscuits. I am not the best tipper in the world – I think perhaps the message has got round the hotel.

We pretty much headed straight out today (“fag run” to Torre). Unfortunately, unbeknownst to us, it’s a Bank Holiday in Spain and all the fag shops shut on Bank Holidays. Other things were open, but not “tabacs”. Ah well. Manana.

We returned to the hotel for a snooze and to do the shower routine before heading to the villa. The Gibbses were nowhere to be seen. They had gone out for lunch. We had some croissants and cups of tea and then kp went for a 2 1/2 hour sleep, while I read my book. We had searched Torrevieja for a water pistol for William (not as easy to find as you may think!) and ended up buying one near the hotel. When the Gibbses returned from lunch…

dp (to William) :- Karen and I have bought you something.

Eyes lit up.

dp :- But………you can only have it if you promise to do something. Can you think what that might be ?

William :- Tie my shoelaces.

dp:- No, but that’s a good idea, something a little more belt height.

Willam :- Fasten my belt

dp:- No……Wipe your…………

William :- Bum

dp:- That’s the one.

Anyway, he promised and got this pump action water pistol, which kept him amused for the rest of the daylight hours. It also kept Nigel and I amused as we had to get it working. The family Gibbs braved the pool and 2 hours of water fun ensued. Never heard a kid laugh so much in my life. It was non-stop, but a real pleasure to behold.

With Karen’s sleep over, we went into Torre for the night markets, which thankfully did open on the Bank Holiday. William went on a few fair rides and then we did the market stalls, guarding our wallets carefully after our last Spanish experience where Glenn nearly got done.

I had to make an impromptu dash to a nearby toilet. Something hadn’t agreed with me. The only thing I had eaten all day was the croissants ?!

Night markets complete, we went to Olli’s Treff for dinner (9pm). The meal was absolutely top notch, steak perfectly cooked, melt in your mouth stuff – gorgeous.

Time for our last night’s sleep.

That’s the holiday over really. Tomorrow is cleaning day and another fag run. For the first time on the holiday, we have been bitten to hell by some unknown critter. I have 9 bites. kp about 6. kp has a mouth ulcer and 2 huge cold sores (1 either side of her mouth) but it hasn’t deterred from a really good holiday. Very relaxing.

Another plus………the technological problems suffered earlier in the week have been overcome and I have managed to copy the photos to the blog.

Not a good photo. Had left the phone on the wrong setting. Gibbses (first dinner)

Second morning, sunrise.

dp playing William at Nintendo. Too bright, hence the towels.

The Gibbses in the hotel pool on the 3rd day.

Gibbs inside villa.

kp breakfasting.

Beautiful day (view from hotel)

Nigel and dp getting massages. kp looking non-plussed.

kp by pool reading magazine.

kp on the pier walk, looking great !

dp, holding his stomach in.

Moon

A stormy last couple of weeks, hence no blog since the holiday.
Probably the most upsetting 2 weeks since the accident for both kp and I. I don’t want to go into too much detail in the blog, but the upset revolves around work / home commitments for me and the impact on Karen. Both of us have felt really low, and one of the agreements we have come to is that I will seek counselling for the depth of my mood. The neuropsychologist is referring me on to an appropriate resource.

Anyway……let’s get positive. kp has been doing really well physically for the last week or so. The Spanish holiday did her the world of good. The warmer climes really do help her feel more agile. She started Hydrotherapy again at University Hospital Durham on Monday of this week. Adele accompanied her to help her with her swimming costume. She was fine after Monday’s physio, but Thursday’s hydro took its toll and she has been “rough as” since . Apparently the exercise that caused her the most gip was when (in the pool) she had to lift her right knee up and move it outwards, effectively straining the hip joint. Since the hydro, kp has locked up twice !!! It’s quite alarming to see ! She will be walking from one chair to the other and then suddenly will just stop midtrack in a strange position and do loads of “ow”s. After 10 seconds or so, it releases again.

This week has seen kp and I feel better in ourselves. kp unbeknownst to me had planned for a weekend of relationship building. Unfortunately we had a customer at the company I work for, that had a major problem with their one and only server, and this meant that I had to go in on Saturday. I asked her if it was ok if I go in. I got a “Do what you have to do” reply. So I did.

Later, I learned that this had gone down like a lead balloon. Another stormy night ensued !

But, today we had a good day and I think we are back on the right track. I just have to be very careful with the work/home balance. It’s swaying too much towards work at the moment.

Today, we went shopping at Sainsburys (15 mins away). We did a cracking shop – both enjoyed it. Got to the till to find out we had forgot payment methods. My mind is all over the shop at the moment. So I dropped kp back at home and went back for the shopping.

As a result of the last 2 weeks or so, kp is making an increased effort to be independant. She even wanted to have a go in the car. Only up the drive I hasten to add. Should be fine I thought. With me ready to whap the handbrake on full if anything went awry.

The problems she encountered in order were as follows :-

1. Getting into the driver’s seat
2. Getting the seat forward
3. Getting it into gear (with her left hand) (we ended up in 5th, then 3rd). I put it into 1st.
4. Getting the handbrake off (non-starter) – she had to use her right hand

After that, things seemed to go ok, as we crept up the drive clipping the conifers with the wing mirror. Great !
Then, Karen had a great idea. The garage is open – “why don’t I park next to David’s motorbike”. My heart was in my mouth. I have just had the motorbike resprayed white (for maximum visibility) and was extra protective of its paintwork. As she headed gleefully to clip the bike with the car wing mirror, I screamed.

dp:- “STOP !!!! The bike !”

Nothing wrong with karen’s emergency stop, thank the Lord ! With that over we headed inside to get warm. Starting to get a bit cold in Durham. We had a good chat with Keith and Tommy. Keith resprayed the bike and had come over to put some extra fluorescent stripes on. Thanks Keith ! Keith is emigrating to Oz next year and he spent 30 minutes talking to Karen and I about it. I think kp would go over their to emigrate for the warmer climes if it weren’t for the redback and huntsman spiders stories !!

That’s it for this blog.

This week seems to have been a break from the lows we have experienced recently.

Tuesday saw a trip to the RVI Newcastle to get kp’s contact lens measurements taken. kp took the taxi to the RVI and I met her there from work. We were there 90 mins, most of that waiting time. Here is kp having one or another checks being done.

Wednesday saw Marie, Adele, Abbie and Louisa come over for the day. I think kp was more in the mood for company this week and really enjoyed spending time with them all.

Here is Louisa wearing kp’s designer “steamed” glasses….

Louisa was all over Karen and I which was nice. Abbie was being independant designing office layouts on the computer ?!

Adele came up on monday to go to hydro with Karen and Marie accompanied her on the Thursday trip. Learning from the previous week’s excessive exercise, she had taken it a little easier this week and thankfully it didn’t cause her problems in the week.

Saturday was Karen’s birthday. 21 again for the 22nd time ! I had arranged a pamper morning at the local beauty salon/hairdressers. I had tried to arrange the usual lady who does our massages to come in the afternoon, but she couldn’t make it, so kp got a massage at the beauty salon. She absolutely loved the morning – I was really pleased. I had arranged a surprise visit from Ronnie, Jane and Deborah (Lydia couldn’t make it). They were there to greet her on her return from the salon.

We then went for a lovely meal at the Pump House.

Deborah had to go early as her daughter (in the army) was back from Iraq. Jane, Ronnie, kp and I had a cracking night. Lots of laughs !

Sunday (today) saw us have a lazy day. kp and I got up earlyish. Joined later by Jane and Ronnie. I can’t remember what this photo was about, but Karen was in absolute stitches over something.

Soon after this, kp and I retired for an extended sleep. The girls (Jane and Ronnie) were planning a holiday for Karen when we woke. They had been at it for about 2 hours solid, and had found a country to go to, that was about it. (A country that was warm in January). Within another hour, they had found a hotel, and then another hour or so later, they told Karen about it. Karen had her own thoughts on the place they should go and they spent another 90 minutes discussing things before they ended back up at the original hotel in Egypt. At some point, Karen had lost track of what was happening and she joined me for a fag outside. She started crying.

kp:- I can’t understand it. I can’t take it all in. I could have done before, but I can’t now and they don’t understand

Ronnie and Jane joined us outside as Karen’s tears were drying up, but they could tell something was up. Karen’s crying started Jane off, and then shortly after Ronnie was at it. Unusually, I was fine.

15 minutes of uneasy silence ensued, but then laughter resumed as Ronnie made a joke that even Jane didn’t know what they were booking and that she had to ask Ronnie what the name of the hotel was.

Hope next week is as good as this week.