Tears today !

To set the scene, last night, Karen and I started reading the blog book version from the start. I had asked her not to read it on herself as I wanted to share the experience with her. We read the prologue, the accident and the accident aftermath sections and then retired for the night.

But……..Karen couldn’t sleep, so she decided to read some more of the blog book.

This morning, Karen got up for her shower, was very quiet, hardly saying a word and I listened out for the usual bang of the shower door and went into the bathroom. The bang of the shower door is my cue for drying duties. I started drying her and then out of the blue…………..

kp:- Did you tell the hospital not to resuscitate me ?
dp:- Have you been reading the blog ?

kp:- Yes.

I got upset (to tears) and told her that this was the very reason she shouldn’t be reading it on her own, because I wanted to be there to explain things to her. Karen started getting more upset than me about the “DNR” (Do not resuscitate) discussion. I went on to explain that I HADN’T told the hospital not to resuscitate her, but that as a family we had discussed it and organ donation because things were THAT bad.

Karen then got upset over the fact she had been reading the blog on her own when I had specifically asked her not to.

This is the ONE thing that I DIDN’T want her to read on her own. There are other things that will need explanation, but this is the one I was dreading.

Anyway we got past this. Although it has knocked her for 6, and I know she is still thinking about it and will be for a few days, but I am sure we’ll get past it.

Today, we went to the RVI Hospital at Newcastle, to get Karen’s eyes sorted. They really get her down at times. She has little useable sight in her right eye, really only seeing light and dark, and psychologically, she needed this sorting.

So, after seeing a nurse who checked kp’s blood sugar levels and eyesight. we saw Miss Dayan at the RVI ( a lovely lady eye surgeon ).

She tried to get Karen to explain what the problem was. Karen explained the problem as what she sees is jumbled up. This was too vague for Miss Dayan, so she expertly narrowed down what kp meant by this to……..When Karen looks at something, quite a large section to the right is missing.

When her right eye is covered up, the sight is much improved. The solution…………

Cover up the right eye. The long term solution is for Karen to wear a special contact lens that has a big black area in the centre, which looks very natural, but blocks all vision from the right eye. But, before they go there, she has to check that this will actually help. Cue the glasses………………

Karen needs to wear either of 2 pairs of glasses to find out which is better for her…………….

One is a frosted right lens……………

The other completely blocks the right eye and right eye peripheral vision………………..

Understandably, kp doesn’t feel very attractive in them, but they are only temporary to find a more permanent solution.