Eventful Week with a few big downs

For the past few weeks at work, I have been working long hours. Sometimes in as early as 7.15am, sometimes staying as late as 7.30pm, perhaps even later. I have been enjoying it, but it has taken its toll in the form of early nights. I would get in, have tea, and go straight to bed. Of course, for Karen, this has meant very little company apart from Marie and friends’ visits.

This came to a head on Monday night, when kp “had a chat” with me about my hours. She felt that we weren’t spending enough time together and that the job was getting more attention than her (from me). I had promised (before I started the job) that I wouldn’t do silly hours again (like I did before), and that I would work in moderation. Unfortunately, due to the nature of this job (at this time), it has been necessary to put in these hours just to stay afloat. I had assured her it would get better once some new appointments were made at work, but this didn’t pacify her and she wanted to see changes now.

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We had quite a lengthy discussion and the upshot was that we agreed I would cut my hours down to more normal working hours. We left it at that, but I worried all night about how I could still do my job effectively with reduced hours and in the morning kp and I had another chat about it. kp agreed that I couldn’t be a clock watcher and she understood that I would need to work some days longer than others, but on the whole I would aim to be more 8.30am to 5pm.

On the tuesday, Karen got up with me at 7am, and we both walked the dogs together. This was great for me and great for Karen. It allowed us to spend more time together and for kp to get up at a more reasonable hour. Once I went to work, she could go back to sleep for a few hours and then aim to stay up all afternoon until bedtime on the night. We did this for the rest of the week and I managed to be less tired on the night time. Success all round.

Here are a couple of shots of kp on the early morning walk. One of these was taken about 6.15am, and the other about 7.15am (on a different day).

Early in the week, Karen explained to me that she felt very upset inside, but she didn’t know why. She felt that she could cry at a moment’s notice, but no tears were forthcoming. Things were obviously on her mind, but she couldn’t articulate what they were. We didn’t dwell on it at the time.

Wednesday saw Marie visit and together Karen and Marie jobbed on around the house and the garden.

The week continued nicely with our new routine and we were dead pleased with how things were working out. On Friday, Karen had wanted to attend “Different Strokes”. It is a weekly meeting of Stroke victims (young and old) and a chance to discuss stroke issues with other victims (victims sounds like a wrong word to use). It’s also a chance for carers to share stories with fellow carers. It’s run by a lovely bloke (Anth) who himself had a big stroke 7 years ago, and the fund raiser is yet another young stroke victim (Lisa). Karen took a taxi to my workplace where we were going on together to the meet at Byker (close to my work). We were made to feel very welcome. We had a nice chat with Anth about how the meets usually work. The first 30-45 mins are normally chatting amongst ourselves. From 4pm to 8pm, there is a masseuse on hand to give free massages, aromatherapy, reflexology or hot stones treatment. There is also a counsellor on hand, a fitness instructor and a physiotherapist !!! All for free, thanks to the sterling work of Lisa.

Halfway through the first 30-45 minutes, Lorraine (a lovely lady) was introduced to us. She was the alternative therapies lady. She was amazing. Registered blind, she took us downstairs to the massage room and proceeded to give Karen a lovely massage. She took Karen’s details down, but because of her condition, she didn’t use a pad and paper, but instead used a dictaphone which her husband later transcribed for her. Karen and I couldn’t help but smile as the conversation unfolded ……

Lorraine :- So, Karen, how old are you ?

kp :- 43

Lorraine (switching the dictaphone on) :- 43

Lorraine :- Are you allergic to anything ?

kp:- No

Lorraine (switching the dictaphone on) :- No Known Allergies

Lorraine :- How did your stroke come about ?

kp:- I was involved in a car accident (and she asked me to explain what happened, which I did for about 2 minutes)….

Lorraine (switching the dictaphone on) :- Car Accident

It probably doesn’t sound funny, but we couldn’t look at each other for fear of a laugh escaping.

Karen thoroughly enjoyed her massage and we both thought Lorraine was great.

With the massage over, we went upstairs back to the room full of the “Different Strokes” gang. We had arrived back just in time for the exercise class. It is chair-based exercises and partners are encouraged to join in. Immediately I thought of a workmate who had just been telling me that he is going to the gym on Friday’s to get fitter. Here I was sat on a chair moving my upper body in tune to the music. I tell you what though, it didn’t half take it out of me. Some of the movements were really tough – especially when I had to keep my leg extended and bring my toes in. Blimey !! And we WEREN’T allowed to smoke while we did it !!!

In all seriousness, it was good fun and everyone enjoyed it. It was particularly funny when we had to do coordination exercises. It was a bit like patting your head, whilst doing a circle on your stomach. The fitness lady had us tapping one foot while moving an arm in a certain direction. Karen and I were hopeless !!!! I kept looking over at Karen to catch her doing ALL the exercises with just one side of her body and not switching as we were supposed to do. It was bl++dy hard. Apparently, it gets easier. Here is a photo taken after the chair-based exercises concluded. I opted out of this one and kp took part in sit-stand exercises against the mirror.

With that over, we were given a guided tour of the swimming baths. They do swimming sessions (private to Different Strokes) on a Tuesday. It’s a shame that the pool is 40 minutes away.

It was a lovely couple of hours and it flew past. Karen and I will definately be going again. It did however have a downside. To be among a group of people with similar ailments has its plus side, but it also reaffirms your condition and in some ways, it was a rude awakening for Karen and it hit her that she had had a stroke. I know that sounds strange, but things like this come as a shock to Karen, especially when (earlier in the week), she had been saying “I think I am nearly better now, what do you think ?”.

So, she went on a downer after the session and we had a few tears on the nighttime and on the Saturday.

After a lovely lie-in on the Saturday, we went in to Durham. I needed my eyes testing, and kp wanted to get some new clothes for her new slimline figure. I detest women’s clothes shopping with a vengeance. But, I put a brave face on and after 90 minutes we had a few tops and trousers. Yippee !

After parking in 2 different car parks (too far for kp to walk between the 2), and trawling around TWO shopping centres, both kp and I were sick of shopping. Here is kp is on the last leg…….

We were back in time for “Maria” and “X Factor” with Pizza.

A sad night followed. We had an earlyish night, but both woke up at about 2am. We went for some fresh air and returned to bed for a kiss and a cuddle. I was particularly in need of a kiss and cuddle. But it didn’t go too well. Karen’s left arm was all over the place and it was hard for Karen and I to get close. In her own words ….

kp:- I feel dead inside

This statement prefaced an hour of tears and a very distraught Karen I felt so sorry for her. She is a bit sick of living at the moment, especially for striving for things to be better.

We had a good talk today (Sunday) about last night and we have decided that we are going to play “The Joker” and involve the neuro psychologist. She is awesome and she REALLY helps kp get to grips with things. We will be ringing her tomorrow.

I am sure kp will feel better after speaking to her, but at the same time I am concerned that such days/nights will continue.

We have had a lovely day today.

Today, we were invited over to Terry and Nigel’s for Sunday lunch. It was gorgeous. Nige and I spent most of the afternoon checking out his new Xbox 360 on his HDTV, while Terry and Karen spent the afternoon chatting outside in the garden. Nice finish to a stormy week. Fingers crossed (again) that this coming week is better !

Final picture…….Karen put a washing load on the washing line on Monday. She took it down on the same day (all dry). Today (6 days later), I found this solitary sock still on the line. It is on the far left of the line !