Day 318 – Sunday 13th March 2006

Awful awful day today. Marie told me yesterday’s blog didn’t reflect Karen’s mood at all. On reading it back, I know what she means. Karen started on a major downer yesterday – I wasn’t sure if it was just the upset stomach, leaving her feel subdued.

Today started off ok. kp got up with Marie for breakfast. They were met with a very snowy scene. I didn’t get up until 11am. I took the dogs out in the blizzards. Cleo’s left hind paw doesn’t touch the ground any more and it had icicles hanging off it by the time she got back.

Boy, it was cold.

kp went for a snooze at about 1pm until 3pm and got up for a nice chat with Marie, before I took Marie back to the station.

And then poor kp hit rock bottom. She started crying about Cleo and her poorly leg, but it became clear that it wasn’t just Cleo that was on her mind, but everything from her slow rehabilitation to “what’s the point”, from her “aches and pains” to other issues I can’t go into. We spent 15 minutes on the sofa. I tried to reassure her how well she is doing, but it didn’t help. I tried comforting her physically (arm around shoulder stuff) but “Don’t touch me.” – I need to be on my own. Well, I can’t leave her when she is in that state – I just can’t. And I don’t think she wanted me to anyway deep down.

Whilst I had been away, she had run a bath for herself. She likes to have a bath before her big pain patch goes on. Her crying eased off and we decided to do the bath thing. But she started crying again in the bathroom whilst I was getting her clothes off. I comforted her and got her to sit on top of the loo to get her breath back. She regained herself after a few minutes, and sat on the bath chair (that lowers her into the bath). I started lowering her into the bath and she started getting upset again. That is a site I will never forget. She was sat there, helpless, being lowered into a bath and crying her eyes out. It really hit me hard :-(

After the bath, we had a cup of tea, and since then she has been “ok”, by that I mean no more tears/upset. She is in bed now, and I am getting her up after I have written the blog.

Sad day today. A number of people have tried to ring/email kp over the last day or so, but understandably, she doesn’t want to take any calls/reply to emails at the moment. Bear with her, as I am sure she will get past this day soon.

One Response to “Day 318 – Sunday 13th March 2006”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I was hoping that you would be feeling a bit better as the day went on Karen,good job ld gone home when the tears started because l would have joined in .I dont think David could cope with us both.talk about CRY ME A RIVER l think it would have been more like an ocean,but seriously sometimes a good cry works wonders getting rid of all the pent up feelings and frustrations.you might wake up tomorrow and think did l really feel that bad yesterday.lv had days and nights that you think theres no way you could possibly get through them and the next day totally different. l think thats where the phraze”what a difference a day makes” comes from,anyway thats what l really hope its going to be for you.l dont really know what else to say to you both except keep doing what you have been doing for the past eleven months YOU ARE WINNING even if it dosn`t feel like it at times, it wont always feel this bad.Were all in this together l just wish l could lighten the load for you two love as always Marie xxx

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