Well, it feels like a bad week, but it hasn’t been as bad as it feels, but herein lies an interesting thing about “bad days” – more later.

Monday, and Syd came for his monthly visit. Lots of good things to report to Syd. Karen told him about the holiday and how she was now focussed on getting her swimming back upto speed so she can eventually do diving

She could also pass on the good news that she is now OFF one of the drugs she has been on since the accident and it happens to be one of the 3 drugs that will not allow her to dive – Gabapentin !!! Well done love !!!! A really big achievement, and one I don’t think she has given herself enough credit for. It’s a pain drug that dulls nerve pain. So, it’s another huge step in the right direction.

She enjoyed Syd’s visit, which was good.

Tuesday, I was on a diving course (Equipment Specialist) at Aquanorth, Newcastle. Very good it was too.

Natalie was off all day, and Jane Burns was due to come in the afternoon and stay the night, but kp was full of cold and sniffing like a good’un. So, kp called her to postpone the get-together. She wasn’t in the mood for company and was very irritable, to say the least. Everything was my fault

Wednesday, and Natalie and I were attending a Brain Injury Conference in Newcastle. It was meant for Health Professionals to allow them to better understand brain injury and was very interesting. There were probably about 100-150 people there and the sessions were generally excellent. I think I was the only carer, but it was still interesting and pertinent.

Jane was supposed to be there from the previous day, but because kp called her off, she was on her lonesome, but she made the most of the day and looked into things she may want to get into, in the short and long term. Pilates, Table Tennis, Swimming, Volunteering. She did lots of web browsing and identified relevant materials and/or classes.

Thursday was all change and kp’s mood plummeted It wasn’t that high to begin with and had probably been quite low since (maybe) the week before the holiday.
She got up, and no sooner had she showered than she was in tears and stayed that way pretty much ALL day. She just couldn’t be doing with ANYTHING. Thankfully, she was due a visit to the psychologist anyway, which was a real piece of good luck.

I persuaded her to keep the appointment, but she just couldn’t stop crying. When I asked her what she was crying about, she couldn’t identify one thing ! I couldn’t think straight and just felt awful myself.

Anyway, we went to the psychologist. And when we explained that Karen didn’t know what was making her cry, she instantly said “Clinical Depression” and that psychological intervention (her) wouldn’t necessarily help and that her anti-depressant meds may need upping or changing. This instantly sounded like the correct diagnosis to me. kp couldn’t identify anything causing the upset, so a chemical imbalance in the head (clinical depression) sounded spot on. I was annoyed I hadn’t thought of it myself, but thankfully it sounded good.

So, whilst we were there, Jane phoned Dr Parry (the psychiatrist) to arrange an appointment so we can get the anti-depression meds upped. Karen is on 300mg Venlafaxine a day (2 x 150mg), so hopefully that can go up. Failing that, it may be another medication. I think, just knowing what was wrong helped kp. There was a real funny moment in the meeting, which got kp in stitches. It probably won’t be at all funny when read in the blog, but I’ll give it a go. Jane is great and she does her best at explaining things to kp, but sometimes, because I know Karen so well, I feel I can better explain things to Karen, with some analogy, or using a less complicated word. And sometimes it just helps her to have it repeated. So, Jane had explained something or other, and I could tell kp hadn’t took all of what she said in, so I broke it down and explained it to her as best I could. Of course, while I am doing this, Jane is listening in.

Now, as I am explaining it, it sounded like Jane was so keen and excited about what I was saying (I was only repeating what she said), she let out these little squeaks. Well, I didn’t make anything of the first two, but by the time the 3rd and 4th came out, it sounded like there was a mouse in the room. kp was looking at me whilst I was explaining and there are these squeaks coming from Jane. I gave Jane a look as if to say “do you know you’re squeaking”. Karen caught the look and burst out laughing, and then I laughed and then Jane was off as well.

Funny at the time. It’s one of those things that is still tickling Karen (and me) when she thinks about it.

So, that helped lighten the heavy session. And the other thing that really helped and this ties in with the beginning of this blog’s entry is something else Jane said.

This day was so black, and it felt awful to Karen and I. It felt like the end of the world was here. What Jane asked us to do was to look back at the blog and see how long Karen’s mood has been UP. If anyone would have asked us before the meeting with Jane, we’d have guessed at 2-3 weeks of upbeat kp. We checked when we got home.

Karen had been “Top Banana” from 18th September 2008 to 10th Feb 2009 with one bad week in November. That’s FIVE months !!! We were both surprised and really pleased !!! It just goes to show how a bad day can feel like a bad month !

It definitely helped put things in perspective. Since then, her mood has been better, but far from the highs of recent months. She doesn’t feel able to cope with anything else but getting through each day herself. So, we’ll take it day by day for now. We have an appointment with the psychiatrist on Tuesday and hopefully that will give us some medication changes that will get on top of kp’s chemical imbalances in the brain.

Another interesting thing that Jane said that perked kp up was a recent letter she had written to our solicitor (about Karen). In the letter, she apparently had said something like “Karen’s improvement is great and we are going to need look at some vocational training to get her into some type of volunteer work”. Karen received this really well.

The dogs went to the groomers on thursday. When they came back, they were a bit worse for wear. Scruffy Pups (Sacriston) said they had been standing too long, but whatever it was they were in pain (especially Bonnie) and had a funny mood about them. Karen knows I have always been a believer that it is bordering on dog cruelty to take a pet to a groomer unless it’s for medical reasons. Dogs don’t know they look nice, they don’t appreciate a haircut, and it’s quite a terrifying experience for them. When I picked them up, there were 2 poodles on the stand who were shaking uncontrollably with fear. It’s wrong ! Very wrong !

Anyway, kp now agrees with my viewpoint and we won’t be taking them there again. But, she was in tears and “it’s my fault they’re like this” etc etc…. She’s always blaming herself for everything, and she shouldn’t !

Mind, the dogs did look great. Here’s a photo of them in the glorious weather we have had this week…..

Friday was our 16th Wedding Anniversary, although neither of us remembered until we were at a Garden Centre ordering a new greenhouse and the chap taking the money told us the date, at which point we both congratulated each other !

After ordering the greenhouse, the girls carried on browsing and I went to my mate’s, Nigel to catch up with the gossip, and to have a lovely Fish and Chip lunch with him and his mam. You’re looking great Lillian !! We must get together one night for a meal

So, eventful week.

Saturday and Sunday have been full, with dog walking, tv catching up etc etc….

Fingers crossed for a better week, next week !