Before I forget, the photo that depicted Karen standing outside of some gate where I asked if anyone knew where it was…….The building in the background is Oskar Schindler’s factory where he employed lots of Jews from the Krakow ghetto.

Well, Monday saw us fly back from Krakow but not before another walk around the centre and it’s something we shouldn’t have done, because it was too much for kp. But with all of the day to kill, she was adamant she wanted to get out of the lovely hotel suite. But, her body was a wreck by the time we got back.

We had a huge meal somewhere around the square and then packed ready for the trip home. The trip home was very eventful. Karen is NOT a good flyer. She doesn’t mind it TOO much when we are cruising along, but doesn’t like the turbulence, but she is normally very scared for the takeoff and landing (if she hasn’t fallen asleep by the takeoff). She always holds my hand and grips the hell out of it even when she is nodding off.

This takeoff went horribly wrong. We taxied to the runway, and the pilot opened the throttles up and we started thundering down the runway and then all of a sudden, he throttled all the way back and slammed on the brakes. There were a few screams, but the loudest was right next to me. Even I was on edge, and I am a very comfortable flier. Karen was distraught. The plane just sat in the middle of the runway for what seemed like ages, and the air hostess had this fake smile on as if to say “everything was fine”. Eventually, she got a call from the captain and carried on her fake smile. Shortly after that, we did take off successfully, but Karen was beside herself. She had what I would describe as a panic attack. She said she couldn’t breathe, and I had to calm her down as best I could telling her to do her diaphragm breathing that she is supposed to do to help her sleep. It did help a bit, but the whole flight felt interminable. Tears on and off, and she didn’t sleep a wink.

My big concern (and Karen’s) is that she wouldn’t fly again, but we will try and do a short flight next to build her confidence. Anyway, we got home with her body and mind both a wreck. We got her in the bath to try and relax her mentally and physically and by about 2am (Tuesday), she was feeling much better in the mind which was the important one.

On Tuesday itself, she was due to attend Physio, but I rang to cancel it as she couldn’t have done a thing.

Wednesday saw her feel better physically which was good because we had a visitor who wanted to see her walk around and various other bits and bobs. It was a lady who (as part of the legal case) had come to assess Karen’s care needs. She was very nice and spent about 4 hours talking to kp and I about how much help she needs. We had a bit of a chuckle later in the day. The lady had left her coat at our house (none of us had realised) and was on the way back to Hertfordshire. Her secretary had rung and left a message on the phone. We thought it was going to say, can you post it on to this address, but it went like this…..

Care Expert’s Secretary :- “Hello, this is Sharon, Mrs Smith’s secretary, she has noticed that she has left her coat at your house. She has asked if you could just put it in the bin. She was going to throw it away anyway.”

Might not be funny now, but it was when we listened to the message.

After she left, we were in need of a shop, so I suggested a trip to Sainsburys. It was a mistake. I should have known that the Care Expert’s visit would have took it out of Karen, but instead I dragged her to Sainsburys. When she got back, she was exhausted and with it came lots of tears because she was upset with herself that she couldn’t do a simple trip to Sainsburys. I explained that it wasn’t just a little trip to Sainsburys and that it was on top of a trip to Poland, an awful flight, only 1.5 hours sleep, a gruelling 4 hour visit from someone asking loads of question etc etc….I was pretty sure the tears were tiredness related and the next day kp was feeling much better, which is remarkable because she only had ANOTHER 1.5 hours of sleep, but it must have been the good sleep.

Thursday and Michelle (temporary support worker) came shortly followed by Laura (one of the new support workers). They hadn’t met before, and the purpose of them both coming was for Michelle to do a handover to Laura about all the procedures, but also to have a chat with Laura about Karen and in what ways she needs support. They had a brief chat before it was time to take Karen to the physio session at Seaham, which they did. When they returned, we all sat round and discussed Karen’s situation and how she needs help. Karen had an appointment with Dr Parry (psychiatrist) in the afternoon, so when I took her to that, the idea was Michelle and Laura would go off somewhere for a cup of tea and to further discuss Karen.

Now, before they went, Michelle explained to Laura the importance of confidentiality and that when they were out in public and were discussing Karen, they shouldn’t refer to Karen as Karen, because this could compromise their client’s confidentiality. It all seemed very sensible and above board. What was funny, is that they had to decide a name to refer to Karen as. Well, of couse, Karen was keen to get her 10p in.

Karen:- How about Chantelle ?  Or Kylie ?

And lots of funny conversation ensued from this.

The Dr Parry visit went fine. The main focus was on Karen’s mood and her sleep. Her mood is on top form at the moment. A good example was the flight home would normally have floored Karen for a week (when she was at a low ebb), but she bounced back within a day !! But, the sleep remains an issue. The Dolsolupin wasn’t having any effect, so it was decided to drop this and instead she is going to try Amitryptiline. She has been on that for a few days and it’s hard to say if it’s working after just a few days. She has had some bad nights and one good night which I’ll come to.

Friday and Laura (new support worker) didn’t think she was starting work until monday, so she had plans for the morning, so I took kp to her planned visit with Angela, which was good in a way, ‘cos it was nice for me to see Angela (fellow car crash victim). She was in good form and Karen later told me that she couldn’t half see a positive improvement in Karen, which was great to hear !!

Laura picked Karen up and brought her home and then we discussed Karen at more length and I went through all of Karen’s issues and how they affect Karen and things to look out for. It’s something I wished I would have done with the previous support worker.

After Laura left, kp and I discussed Karen’s medication and we decided now was the right time to take the next move on reducing Karen’s medications. So, and Karen is over the moon at this, she is down from 500mg Fentanyl patches to 475mg and the Tamazepam is down from 5mg a night to 2.5mg which is nowt !! Well done kp !!!

The following day (Saturday), Karen had a long overdue hair appointment and Laura came to take her to that, which released me to do dp stuff, which made a lovely change.

That’s it for the week. Things are looking up. With Laura starting, kp seems a lot more focussed about things she wants to get done which is great all round.

Things are on the up and up !! For the first time in a long time, Karen had a good sleep last night ; from 11.30pm until 9am with no getting up at all. She woke up about 4am, but then went straight back to sleep. Now, we aren’t sure why the sleep is better last night. It could be that we tried sleeping in separate rooms, or it could be the new amitryptiline drug ? But, whatever, it’s a good thing and I am sure we’ll try separate rooms again to see if that helps. I think it could be a factor, because I think Karen gets subconsciously stressed as if she wakes up in the night, she knows she has to physically get up and go to another room so she doesn’t wake me. There’s probably some psychology in this somewhere, anyway, let’s see what tonight brings.

While I remember, Karen is even considering stopping the fags. I stopped again a few weeks ago and am confident that I will never smoke again thanks to an electronic cigaretter that I have now bought. I bought one for Karen too. It’s called a Janty ECigarette. Basically, it doesn’t burn anything so there are no carcinogens, so it’s not bad for you, but if you want that puffing sensation, then you can have a puff. Basically you load it with a cartridge (flavour of your choice) and choose a nicotine level from high to none. And then you smoke it, and then you can blow out smoke (actually it’s vapour/steam) and it feels like you’re smoking. I am really very pleased with it. Karen likes it too, but she wants to set a formal “give-up” date to aim for, yet to be set.

So, the Pollards are on the up and up. Well done kp !!!

Life is good again.