Bad day today, deserving its own entry.

kp hasn’t eaten anything of consequence since Saturday night. I persuaded her to have a chip butty tonight, but her appetite has been very poor for a while now. She has been feeling very weak, and with it quite low.

There have been quiet a few tears today and lots of talk of her leaving me and “my life would be better” kind of talk. By leaving me, she means taking her own life. Of course, I try and get her to put things in perspective, but I think a combination of her feeling sapped of life, the lack of food, and still getting over that damned morphine tablet are hitting her hard.

The morphine tablet was great while it lasted, but I don’t think they agree with her.

I got her in the bath later in the day, and we had a better chat. It still focussed on “how better my life would be if she weren’t here” with lots of references to Cleo (one of our old “suffering” dogs) and how we were upset when she died, but life was better without her and her suffering etc etc…

But, I think I got home to her how much she means to me, and that I don’t want to consider a life without her etc etc….

We could really do with some good times for kp at the moment.

The theme for today is she was interested in ABSOLUTELY nothing ! No matter what I suggested, she didn’t want to do it, watch tv, go to the garden centre, have a snooze, visit family in Mboro – nothing interested her. So we just sat there, silent

Very sad !

Even cigarettes weren’t appealing, a sure sign something is wrong !

I do hope for a better day tomorrow, or sometime soon…….