kp and I had an awful night sleep. kp much more so than I

She was BOILING hot all night. She can’t stay on her side unless she has something to prop her up, the idea was that I would play the role the pillows play at the hospital and be the prop. I couldn’t get close to her without keeping the duvet between us (she was that hot), which is not what either of us had in mind. And it is very tricky to get kp on her side, watching her bad arm, whilst getting the duvet between us and getting myself comfy with my pillow.

And when you are changing sides about once every hour in the night, its even harder doing it when you are just woken up and have no energy. We got her comfy each time, but it wasn’t enough. She did sleep a bit, but I would say she had about 1 hours sleep all night and she felt utterly miserable this morning. It put a real dampener on such a wonderful Saturday.

We think it is because it is a double bed and not the actual bed itself. In her hospital bed, she can’t move too much ‘cos its a single, but a double bed allows much more freedom which seems to be a bad thing in hindsight.

As I write this blog entry, she is fast asleep on the sofa and wishing she had gone to sleep last night on it, because she is trapped by the back of the sofa in a comfy position.

I walked the dogs before she got up, and when I got back, I joined her for a snooze in bed. We were woken up by kp’s sudden need for a trip to the bathroom, we made it in time I am pleased to say. The transfers are going swimmingly.

All dressed, she looked very solemn, and we sat outside (glorious day) and had a cup of tea. Eileen popped her head over the fence for a natter, but I could tell kp wasn’t 100%.

After Eileen went ……..

kp:- I think I prefer to sleep at home (she meant the hospital, but interesting that she referred to it as home).

I suggested she ask to take home a sleeping tablet for next week in case she can’t get to sleep again. She thought this was a good idea but was unsure if they would give it to her. We’ll probably ask before next weekend.

The other option is kp sleeping on the couch, but that’s not really an ideal weekend at home.

Whilst we were having our tea, kp said :-

kp:- I need to ask you something, I need some reassurance
dp:- Whaddya mean love ?
kp:- I need to know things are going to get better.

I reassured her that they would and when she was walking, she wouldn’t feel as trapped etc… It would be a LONG road ahead, but she would get there with all the family’s help etc… She felt better after our chat.

kp:- I am f+cking angry at the driver now (of the vehicle that caused the accident)

For kp to swear is VERY unusual. She hates people swearing, and I can count on one hand times she has sworn before. In fact, I can’t recall any time before.

We had a good natter, and within 30 minutes of her being as low as she could get, she was feeling a lot better.

kp:- Let’s try a transfer to the car.

We had planned to stop using taxis (£25 a time, £50 there and back) to get us home and we would try a transfer to and from the car before Sunday night, so we would know if we needed to book a taxi.

Both of us thought it would be tricky, with getting out of the car harder than getting in.

Getting out was harder, but I am pleased to report kp managed both transfers and I helped only the SLIGHTEST bit with her stand out of the car. This is a big relief to both of us as it means we are not reliant on others, which is so helpful for one’s self esteem.

We sat out the back of the house in the gloriously HOT sunshine for an hour or so, and then kp phoned some family members while I prepared the Roast (Beef) for tonight.

She was then aching from sitting for so long, so I brought her back in and that’s where she fell asleep on the couch. Interesting new bit of pleasure for me is when her “bum goes numb” (as she calls it), she likes me to smack it before she transfers to the other seat. It’s great to smack your wife’s bum (and get away with it), and at the same time know you’re helping her !

So, Dad’s coming at 4.30pm for a few hours which is very good of him given he has just got back from a week’s holidays and been to a Christening this lunchtime. Mum can’t come as she is minding the dogs for my sister who has just gone on hols.

I’ll do another blog entry when I get back from the hospital later, but for now that’s it……

So, we had a snooze this afternoon, kp didn’t sleep, I was out like a light. We woke up at 4.15pm, just enough time to get ready for Dad’s arrival.

When he arrived, he joined us outside in the glorious sunshine for a drink or two. kp was subdued and not speaking much. I popped in and out of the house whilst I kept the roast ticking along but I could tell dad was having to keep the chatter going. I felt dead sorry for him travelling so far to be with us when Karen was feeling a bit off. She was feeling fine, I just think she was exhausted from 2 exciting days with virtually zero sleep overnight.

We had the Roast Beef and kp had 2 platefuls which I was delighted at. By this stage, I could tell kp was really flagging, so I dropped a subtle hint to Dad to leave.

dp:- Dad, can you go home now ?

Poor Dad – sorry !! There’ll be other more lively weekends I am sure.

Shortly after Dad left, kp and I were sat outside for some last time together before the trip back to the hospital and in no time she was in tears. She was upset about her predicament again.

kp :- Stupid man (referring to the driver who caused the crash). He’s made our lives hell.
kp(sobbing) :- I don’t want to leave the dogs and you. Why should I have to be in hospital ? What if something else happens to us ?
I hugged her as best I could (in her wheelchair)

dp :- It’ll not be long before you’re home for good love. As soon as you can walk, they’ll let you go and you’re so close.
kp (sobbing) :- Yeah, but it doesn’t end there doesn’t it. Things won’t be back to normal. I’ll not be able to walk properly.

There are so few words that help. I reassured her as best as I could that it is going to be a long road, but that you have a great family who will help you as much as we can, we’ve got the bungalow etc etc…

She cried for about 20-30 minutes and it didn’t stop when Eileen (ace neighbour) popped her head over the fence to say “hi”. Eileen did her best to cheer her up and then Tommy popped his head over. She dried up eventually and calmed down.

But as soon as I got her back in the house, it started again

kp (crying) :- Let’s get back to the hospital

Of course, then it was time to say goodbye to the dogs. Very very sad !

We did the transfer to the car (it went fine) and we set off to the hospital. Michelle (one of kp’s sisters) phoned and kp could only speak a few sentences before signing off. Michelle sent a lovely long text to kp which arrived just as we arrived at the hospital and that helped make things a little better.

I had been able to keep my upset at bay throughout all of this. All couples out there will know that when one partner is weak, the other is strong and vice-versa. I was in “strong” mode, but I nearly lost sight of “strong” mode as we came to get out of the car. kp had undone her own seat belt. And I came round to start the transfer process unaware that her left (stroke) arm was trapped in the seatbelt. She didn’t even know about it. ;-(

I said nothing and just sorted it.

When we arrived back on the ward, kp was greeted very enthusiastically by all the nurses, and the upset began again Poor Poor kp. The staff were lovely !! They made us a pot of tea and brought some cake in for us.

I got kp into bed, tried to get her feet warm (as they were like ice), but couldn’t. We had our cup of tea and then I left for the night.

2 minutes into writing this blog entry, kp phoned to check I had got home safely. She was feeling a bit calmer.

dp:- How are your feet ?
kp:- They’re still cold

I’ll take cold feet anyday, as long as she is settled in herself

With a bit of luck, she’ll be able to come home for sometime midweek. We will see.