I phoned Karen just before I had my tea (7.30pm) just to check all was ok.

It wasn’t. She was very upset and “just want(ed) to go home”. It appears she had got really upset whilst Marie was still there and poor Marie had to leave her at 6.30pm (to get her bus) with Karen assuring her she would be ok and just needed to be alone.

When I phoned she couldn’t get the sentence “I want to come home” out without interrupting it with real anguish and tears.

dp:- Do you want me to come in ?
kp:- No, there’s (sobbing) nothing (sobbing) you can do
dp:- I am coming in.

When I got there and this will sound corny, I could feel kp’s mood lift. I could see how much she had been crying, her face was beetroot red, but she was pleased to see me. We had lots of tears and lots of talking. A couple of things had triggered it :-

• The realisation that her left arm may not get to be as capable as her right arm (and the implications)
• A discussion she had had with another patient where she had found out the other patient (very similar age to Karen) was going home on Friday

We talked these things through. There are no easy answers or quick fixes that can be applied. It will be hard, but I think Karen took solace in the fact that we would get through them together.

We discussed at length home visits and whether she would want them or not. The pros for them are being home, seeing the dogs, a bit of normality and lots more. The cons are leaving the home and more importantly the dogs.

She doesn’t want to leave the dogs. We decided on the fact that she would come home for visits when she can stand up from the bed to get into the wheelchair, and stand up from the wheelchair to a chair that is at any height. In other words, when she comes home, she could get on to the settee, back to the wheelchair, get to the loo etc….

She seemed happy with that for now.

I left her at 10pm tired and more settled than she was. She was very grateful that I had come in, I think especially because she had said to me “you don’t have to come in”. I am starting to understand the female language better the older I get. I now understand that “you don’t have to come in” means “be here within 30 minutes”

Hope you feel better tomorrow love

dp
xxxxx