The Day of Realisation

No laughs this morning. kp was very quiet, hardly talking at all. The first thing she wanted to do when she woke up was to go back to sleep

I persuaded her to have some breakfast and then we had 45 mins kip. We then started on the bedbath. Half way through, kp broke down into tears. She said she felt so helpless. I was moving all her arms and legs to allow for washing, and I could tell that for the first time, the reality of her situation was dawning on her. I told her to hug me, and she did. 1 minute later, I tried to move away so we could talk, but she didn’t let go. I tried to comfort her and tell her the things she has got to look forward to like “coming home, having a bath, a shower” etc…. And her reply was “Why should I have to look forward to those things ?”. She is dead right of course. They are all things we take for granted and now they are things that Karen has to aim for through no fault of her own.

Shortly after the upset, the physio came and halfway through the physio, kp broke down again. The physio didn’t know if he should push on or talk to Karen so he asked her. She said “Carry On”. So kp was crying while the physio was carrying on his arm/leg-bending.

I have been amazed (as a lot of people have) at kp’s progress to date. She works hard every day to make herself better. But every so often, she is going to have days like today. I tried to explain this as best I could to her – she is a very positive person and I feel sure she will bounce back within the next day or so.

When Marie arrived, kp hardly said a word until 30 minutes after we had took her outside. Her first real words were :-

kp:- “David, tell Marie what your mam said yesterday !”

I did. Marie and I laughed. kp smiled.