A day of mixed emotions.

I rang the Intensive Care Unit and asked to speak to Karen. Wanted to tell her I wouldn’t be in until 1pm because I was bringing the dogs. The nurse checked if Karen could speak and came back and explained

Nurse :- “She can’t speak at the moment because she is having physio and anyway she is fast asleep.”

I was laughing to myself at the thought of Karen getting a workout whilst fast asleep.

The day started with tears. I brought the dogs to see Karen, and one by one I got them out of the car and took them to Karen’s bed. First Dog was Cleo. I didn’t want to risk them jumping on kp so I lifted Cleo to kp so she could stroke him.

Immediately she got upset. She had a good stroke and then on with the next dog (Bonnie). I tried lifting her to Karen, but she doesn’t like to be lifted, so I took her on the lead and as soon as she saw Karen she launched herself completely in the air ONTO kp’s bed. Jesus Tonight. kp’s stomach is still not fully stitched up so I nearly laid an egg. Thankfully, I immediately yanked the chain and although all 4 paws touched the bed, they immediately landed back on the ground. Phew ! Bonnie then jumped up with her 2 front paws and let kp have a good stroke.

Elsa was the last and least trouble

Karen was tearful throughout. But I know she was glad she had seen the dogs. I think it must bring home to her what she is missing

More tears followed at about 3pm when kp was ready for visitors again. Marie, Michelle, Jane + myself were round kp’s bed and she was very quiet for quite a long time. She beckoned Michelle to come closer. kp wanted a hug. Very unusual (as those who know kp will be only too well aware). kp hugged Michelle and started crying. Michelle started crying, Marie started crying, Jane started crying and I stood there like a lemon. I must be all out of tears today. kp was upset. She is definately realising the depth of her situation as each day passes. Now I am crying. I feel so sorry for her. She has come through so much, battled so hard – she doesn’t understand how far she has come, and she is just realising how ill she was and is and that she has a long road to travel. She is very frustrated having to lie in bed 24/7. Who can blame her ?

For a lot of the afternoon, she was uncomfortable as she had been positioned on her right hand side. She asks me to get someone to ease her discomfort, which of course I do, even though I know that comfort is hard to find for kp with all her sores etc….

One of the nurses came over and sat down with kp and had a good chat to her. He explained that for the last 3 weeks she had been unconscious and the hard times were experienced by David and the rest of the family. But now it was time for her big struggle. He was down to earth and told her that she was in for 1 helluva fight. She WOULD be uncomfortable. She would hurt each day and she had to fight through it all.

Nurse:- Over the next few weeks and months, you will be calling David every name under the sun.

(No change there then

Nurse:- You will be pushed to your limits by the nurses because they want you to get better. But the biggest thing you will come up against is frustration etc….

It was a cracking spiel the nurse said (he used to work on a stroke rehab ward) and it really let kp and I know that hell is on the way, but that together we can crack it.

So quite a sad day overall, but it did have its highs later in the afternoon.

Jane, Marie and Michelle were by kp’s bedside and were waiting for her to wake up. They were bored so they started singing to kp. We have worked out that we can tell when kp is awake by her heartrate on one of the monitors. When its about 60, she is out for the count and 70+ she is on the way to consciousness, 80+ and she is awake. So it was 60 and the girls were singing songs from the 70′s in the style of pub singers. I wasn’t there but apparently the girls were in stitches at their own performances.

kp’s heartrate rose to 70. So they thought they were getting close. It stayed like that for a while as the girls carried on their renditions, until kp woke up. One of the sisters said

Sister :- We have been singing to you !! Songs from the 70′s.
kp :- I know. But I thought if I kept my eyes shut, you might stop.

Another highlight of the day was when my mum and dad visited.

As soon as she saw mum and dad, she waved at them and the biggest smile came across her face. I bet Karen 5 quid that dad would cry within 10 seconds of her talking. You owe me 5 quid kp !!!!

Mum and Dad could see such a big difference. She was talking, joking and full of the essence of kp. They were thrilled to see such an improvement. It had been 10 days since their last visit.

When they left to go to kp+dp’s house (to do the ironing (thanks Mum !)), Marie and I stayed on. Karen was very quiet. Solemn. Sad. She hardly said a word. She was exhausted. She was fed up.
It’s awful to see her like that. It’s at times like this, I wish the driver of the van could be aware of how much pain he has caused her, Angela and Kevin (and their families and friends). 2 years driving ban ain’t enough !!

Until tomorrow…..